Sweet Pete

It does seem somewhat realistic though... Odds on Sebastien Osei Obengo signing?

The new signings are a mixed bag, but at least we've tried something new rather than the Scottish football merrygoround of players and managers. If we go down with this team then it won't be much different than if we had kept Locke and his guid honest laddies so nothing much to lose in that respect. At least it's new names to learn to shout at and give a thorough booing. Looks like there could be a few gems amongst the new signings, Coulibaly is my pick of the bunch so far and I think he'll be a goal threat. Jones will have the odd good game and the odd shite game as tricky wingers are prone to. It'll definitely take time to settle them all in, find the best formation, positions and blend. In true Killie style we'll probably limp along all season and then scrape safety.

The five new signings will be Pedro Moutinho, Armand One, Fabian Yantorno, Joel Kasubandi and Paul Maxwell.

I don't use syrup or sugar either, just salt to taste, but for me the texture is all wrong when using water rather than milk. I genuinely couldn't care less whether what liquid I make breakfast with makes me more or less Scottish, whatever that means.

Just a wee update: There are still no notifications on the Android app.

Porridge should always be made with milk, without exception. Porridge made with water is just wallpaper paste.

It'll be the u12s instead.

OR your self-described epilepsy and associated short term memory loss kicked in.

Seen that one before. Basically shorthand for some bint to say "I'm as crazy as a bag of drunken fire ants, with a face like a bag of broken knuckles, but if you put up with my shite I'll give you a ride that you'll instantly regret".

The depression thread usually gives me a right horn.

Shut up.

Saw a meme on Facebook that says "the best girls are always gonna be the most difficult, so deal with it". Aye, that's right, hen, you're one of the best girls, with your obesity, your old crone's face, your violent tendencies and your lack of parenting skills. Fuckwit boot.

Would I waste my time going up and down and up and down and up and down in a lift? No. Not because of some fear of finding another plane of existence or seeing a spectral woman, but because there is no other plane of existence, there is no such thing as spectres and I have better things to waste my time with, like wanking and using Pie and Bovril.

I'd like to see the manager make some changes for the Peterhead game on Saturday, maybe throw Clark and Kassarate in from the start since it's a dead rubber, give them a taste of first team football. Looking forward to Bankies away next Tuesday.

What a load of fucking shite. Do people, otherwise rational, adult people, actually believe shite like this? It's like Creepy Pasta. VL's.

Quick update: There are still no notifications on the Android app.

Supporters with increased strength will definitely result in Dumbarton FC winning more football matches in my opinion.

Epididimitis caused by testicular cysts and testicular varicose veins. Occasionally lands me in hospital. Painful.

That's nothing to a big team like us. #TheOnlyShowInTown

That was the game that in the first half the Montrose left back tackled Andy Geggan so hard that he ended up across the track and bumped into the fence.

BBPF was nowhere near old enough to drink in 98. The season we're talking about is 07/08.

Third bottom. 9th was Shire, Forfar were dead last.

Here's a question: If Sons continued to stay up by finishing 8th or 9th every season for the next ten years, would you be happy as a fan that your club was successful? Bearing in mind that you'd likely witness about 10 Dumbarton wins in that decade. Frankly I'd rather be relegated as when "success" is viewed as being utterly horse for 90% of a league season every season then it's a success I want no part of. Eventually the goals and aims need to readjust to more than simply treading water, surely?

I disagree. If Sons finished 9th and stay up by winning the playoff, but go out of every cup competition early it'll have been a successful season only in so far as success being measured against the singular goal of staying up. There'd be so few wins witnessed it would be enough to make one question why they're so desperate to see the club stay up at all as at least a league down there'd be more wins available. However, if the club finishes 9th and wins the playoffs to stay up but also gets to the last 16 of the League Cup, the same in the Scottish Cup and go a few rounds in the Challenge Cup, then you would be able to turn around and say hand on heart that it had been a successful season. Staying up by a bawhair every season and doing nothing else of footballing note isn't success, it's subsistence. In decades to come it won't be staying up by a narrow margin that fans reflect on, it'll be finishing 5th, playing Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup latter stages, promotions, title wins etc. Success can't simply be 8th place every year, that's purgatory, not success.