Sweet Pete

I'm surprised at that. I've always been reminded of his work by your posting style and suspected you were "inspired" by him.

He wasn't drinking in Drumchapel.

Some dickheads from Drumchapel set about my nephew last night outside a pub.

I bet you make a beautiful bride, J.

It's certainly pure pissing down.

We don't aw live outdoors, Wunfy. Some of us cook our food before we eat it and sleep in a building.

Let me know how you get on with it, I like the look of them. Would save me carrying a load of water when I go walking.

Getting all your mates together to share a pint?

The only defence against someone shooting disabled people is armed disabled people.

He does make a lot of puns, aye...

My wife's not a bad shot with a rifle, always wins gonks at the shows. I reckon I'd have her along with me if I went on a killing spree.

^^^ having a right good greet for everyone who's ever died.

I agree, they are mugs.

Sonsational hates curries, eh? That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen on the Internet. If you don't like Indian food then you can just go and live in Siberia, you fucking communist.

Tell you what's guid at Almondvale? The swanky wraps and posh sarnies they lay out in a wee side room downstairs for the journos. I was stuffing my face with creamed cheese and chutney and all sorts when I was there doing the Challenge Cup final a few seasons back. Other than that, it's the very epitome of a shite modern stadium; far from rail and bus links, miles from the town centre and pubs, too large for the team who occupies it, soulless and utterly featureless.

One of the great contradictions I find unique to football supporting, is that I actually prefer standing on a crumbling terrace in an old, open ground than I do sitting in a comfy seat in a modern arena with the amenities that those offer. Maybe it's a reflection of my general outlook on life, but standing in the shed at Holm Park close enough (and empty enough) to hear the players swearing at each other is more enjoyable to me than it was watching from the away end of Celtic Park last week, the fish suppers from the concessions kiosk nowhere near as interesting as a pie from a wee dookit window. I'd therefore hate to see the kind of Americanised fan interaction that one sees at hockey and basketball games become part of Scottish football, though I accept that comfier stadia and more novelty for the fans may be beneficial in the long run. Or maybe I'm just a grumpy b*****d. The new stadium idea, well, we've talked about this over and over and over. The fact remains that the club does not have the level of support to justify a ground so large and gambling the club's future chasing rainbows is careless in the extreme, but that's none of my business...

Great post, mate.

There's a line in Despicable Me where one of the characters finds himself stranded on the moon and says "Oh poop!". My son watches that film all the time. He woke up at 3am today and came into our bed and went back to sleep, just as I was dozing off he said, loudly, in his sleep "Oh poop!". Near pished myself laughing. When he came into the room initially last night he was still half sleeping and saying odd wee sentences of disjointed stuff and one of the things he said was "stinky mummy" which had me in knots and I too decided to say it.

Palace is/was skate wear

Nah, you're on a par with jagfox

Fake grass? Does your garden now look like a display at a shite garden centre?

I'm just over 30, and I'm definitely a beast, so I certainly qualify. My favourite type of melts are those circular caramel wafers that you sit atop a hot coffee and they go gooey. They're ace.

^^^ raging that I won't be his pal.

^^^ loser.

Short and fat, yes.