Sweet Pete

Under the new rules, any deposit for a rental in Scotland should be secured in one of the three Scottish secured rental schemes. Look into it.

Save a match for Bambino7 and throbber. And any other racists or bigots who happen along.

Certainly sounds like him. He's a complete and utter nonce the fella.

Why don't you go and join the EDL then if you're such a big fan of him, ya fucking bellend.

Reach over and tear those absurd mutton chops off his face.

We're potty training our 2 year old currently. Only a couple of weeks in, but seem to be making decent progress. He now tells us when he needs to use the potty, giving us time to take his nappy off and then he climbs onto the seat. A couple of dribbles on the floor, so we bought a potty with higher edges and that seems to have sorted it. Got him to use the toddler adapter for the proper toilet a couple of times yesterday as well. Early days and it'll likely take a while, but positive signs so far.

He hates immigrants even though his maw is one and uses a fake name. He's a bell whiff of the first order.

You need to discharge the voltage onto someone else. Rub vigourously against the closest person to you (physically closest, not, like, your mum or something).

They're all United.

Listen, sweetheart; when you grow up to be a big boy, when you've graduated from your clown college and gotten a job at your local kebab shop and worked your way up to senior grease-trap removal engineer, then you can come at me for posting shite on Pie and Bovril during office hours. Until then, get back in your stinking box.

I'm at a desktop.

A load of my wife's dad's family added me on Facebook a while back after meeting them at her gran's birthday in Manchester. All aunties and cousins and the like. Every single one of them has since posted a succession of racist/sectarian/bigoted shite on Facebook and shared stuff from Britain First and the like. I get that Greater Manchester (they're all from Rochdale, Middleton, Oldham etc) is fucking grim, but you don't have to also reflect that grimness in your personality. Also, as an aside, but also annoying; they all look like they're from Greater Manchester. Wee baw faces, bulldog expressions, stout, squat, balding and ugly. The women and men look exactly alike. Exactly how I imagine Grim O'Grady off here to look.

FTFY

You're on, I've got a spare three seconds to fill.

You obviously don't have the flu, Raff. Flu isn't trivial.

^^^ has poor taste in literature

How much cash is there in circulation worldwide? I read a shite Jack Reacher novel on holiday a couple of years ago that stated that there is roughly $300 US paper money per person in circulationin the states, but I don't tend to take my economics info very seriously when it has been gleaned from cheap paperbacks about beating folk up and shagging birds.

You're worthless.

It's very cramped. Outside the car, or on the bonnet of the car, is better.

After I saw the scores yesterday I immediately remembered my comment. Instant karma.

There was a kid of about 15 throwing snowballs in the street with his pals earlier, but along with his sensible hood up jacket, he was wearing cotton shorts and trainers. This isn't an isolated incident. I often see young lads, and even guys in their 20s/30s wearing shorts when it's freezing cold around here. Is this a localised Clydebank fashion, or is it nationwide? And if so, what's the point behind it? A misplaced attempt at machismo?

He's past it. Unrelated, but what's the reasons for Kevin Thomson's departure from Dens?

If you (a) felt the need to explain who he was and (b) thought his most iconic role was from a kids movie about magic then you're probably very young and uncultured. He is far more famous, of course, for being in a Texas music video.

Player and coaching staff profiles and interviews would be great. As would weekly video updates from our glorious leaders regarding the progress of our desperately needed new stadium.

You said lunatics in the post I quoted, yes.