The fantasist in my work snogged Amy Winehouse and was bffs with Bruce Springsteen when he used to work security. I'm sure he's been to the beach with Channing Tatum as well. He owns property in America where he keeps a racing car he was given as a gift, along with the shotgun he has that has a range of two miles. He can speak Danish and Korean. He knows how to do every job/task in the place, yet he's absolutely useless at all of them. He's like a human version of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons.
I remember the first day I met him. Another guy gave me the invaluable advice: "Here, don't listen to a word he says. If he starts trying to tell you a story, tell him to f**k off."