Miguel Sanchez

I mind once a status with at least four respondents and 30+ comments, a girl who posted that she had been in a car going through the Clyde Tunnel and didn't understand how the water from the river stayed out. She didn't understand that the sides of the river weren't directly above the entrance to the tunnel. It took a badly drawn Paint diagram from me to shut her up. Embarrassing.

That hair is impossible

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/manchester-city/10775489/Yaya-Toure-African-players-never-get-recognition-we-deserve.html

I had a dream on Sunday night that I was watching Barcelona play Gibraltar in the Champions League. Gibraltar had David Marshall in goals. It went to penalties, mostly because the goals were about two feet wide. The fucking post (or specifically, one solitary co-op leaflet) woke me up before the shootout started.

Something called Joey Essex has just been on the news because he'll be meeting the heads of the assorted political parties. Why is a man who is famous primarily for being, or pretending to be, an idiot being given this sort of airtime on this sort of subject?

In both of those pictures there seems to be at least three groups being caught at the one time.

Watching the Euro qualifiers on ITV4 Israel played with a Ben Haim 1 and Ben Haim 2 on Friday

Any variety of Seven Nation Army being used at sporting events.

My mum drinks tea with literally everything, regardless of the meal (unless it's spicy, generally) and regardless of temperature or time of year. Utter madness.

Today I discovered what Kamagra is.

I'm sure I've seen that before a good while ago. It might have been real then, doubt it's real now.

She still looks like Tom Cruise.

Back in a previous life (before I joined here even, I'm pretty sure) I posted on a message board. On this message board, a man (who was a mod) and a woman met and started up a relationship. Eventually they met, her flying out to meet him and his family (they both lived in the US - he was in California and she... I've no idea, but I'll assume Colorado) and they declared they were engaged, with a vague date set for some period of time in the future. Shortly after this announcement they declared they were bringing their wedding forward to within a month or two. Over the course of the woman's pregnancy the behaviour of the two of them became increasingly erratic - they were as insufferable as two people living out their new-consummated-far-too-soon-relationship over a message board with ~100 regular users would be. Especially since the guy was a p***k who thought he was a big man because he told a bunch of kids what to do (since it was largely teenagers who were most active at the time, myself included). The crowning moment of their utter madness however came when the account "Princess Aricka" appeared, making a post about how excited they were about being born and supporting the team that everyone on the forum did (since it was a sport team's board). This thread was met with the sort of good humour you would expect of the people who had been putting up with their shite for months. At least the guy (who was named Arick by the way, just let that sink in) had the decency to seem embarrassed by his burd's behaviour. Last I heard, they ended up separating. No idea what happened to the kid, though I presume they still exist. So, aye. Enjoy your relationship.

It was a job application, I doubt they're planning on faxing me a rejection letter But in those situations I just put my mobile number in that bit. You want a phone number, you're getting the only one I have.

The 1998 World Cup final was 17 years ago There's a sobering thought

The first time I went to T in the Park which was also really the first time I went anywhere else in Scotland for an extended period of time all I heard anywhere was Limmy's That Accent people complaining about how the place was full a weegies ken like eh? I enjoy the inferiority complex experienced by people with annoying voices that live in uncivilised backwaters. It's cute.

"Home phone is a mandatory field!" What fucking decade is this? And who thought it was a good idea to put an exclamation mark in there?

That man ate all the shrimp! And two plastic lobsters!

Speaking of Kyle Lafferty: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/kyle-lafferty-ive-unfinished-business-5388170 Kyle Lafferty: I've got unfinished business at Rangers and would love to return to Ibrox and prove myself

Hey I closed with a joke And then there was pounds being spent on Kyle Lafferty, that was quite funny

Rob's head = vacated

#WeAreAllNotTheRangers

Finished the last one today, two of us got a bonus, two of us didn't. All four of us did the heists together. Quite raging at that, but I think we're going to do them again and go for the super bonus anyway. Some thoughts: Fleeca job: Fun, easy, provided you do all the driving. Prison Break: Probably my favourite, having done all the driving/flying in it rather than the actual shooting and stuff. I prefer the get in get what you need and get out element of heists over than the shooting (you could say that means I don't like doing the work, but shush), this fulfilled all of that. Humane Labs raid: Good variety in setups here, only one which was bullshit was the stealth infiltrating one, purely because we didn't have mics and were using an online chat for it. I still have no idea how we did this, one of the guys I was playing with just sort of did it all himself. Another one where I was in a helicopter mostly, quite satisfying to just hover in the air and shoot stuff. Series A Funding: Shite, largely. I hated Trevor in the single player, so having more of him and his shite patter is bad. So are all the missions which are largely go here > shoot people > run away in some comedy vehicle that barely moves and has no armour which when faced with the dozens of folk shooting at you on the way to the destination will completely f**k you up. Also, the first setup where you have to go on the boat is bullshit. So many folk shooting you. Pacific Standard: Finding the vans in the first part is a b*****d to coordinate with no mics until you realise the people taking the pictures can drive too, the rest of the setups are easy enough (more of the go here - shot stuff variety but they offer some level of cover in doing them), the finale though... those fucking bikes, christ. You have to steal the bikes to get away from the cops because they're so fast, only the bikes are two blocks and about 100 polis away from the bank, and they're not fast. At all. And because you're on a 5 star wanted level there's polis everywhere, so when you get bumped off the bike as you inevitably do because you're driving really fast to get away from all of them, you're fucked. And then when you've used all your extra armour in the first attempt at it, when you do eventually fail and have to restart, you've got none for the next time. Pish. All things considered though, they're still good fun, especially if you have a good group to be able to do them with. I imagine co-ordinating the whole thing with mics is both easier and a lot more fun though.

McLeod doesn't get enough recognition as a troll. Mentioned Stokes being in the provisional Ireland squad during the League Cup final the other week, was a nice wee slip.