mjw

That's probably what that Chinese woman was looking for in that manky video that popped up on here.

You can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs though.

He's an Aberdeen fan. The guy who wrote the piece was a Rangers fan.

I might give his book a go. With the amount of time they spend away from home, cricketers normally have some decent stories.

Being a Ranger I was born to be a Rangers supporter. I had no real choice in the matter. My father was a Ger, as was his father and his father’s father. I was accepted that as soon as I was old enough to be lifted over a turnstile I would attend Ibrox, faithfully. I worshipped at the shrine of Rangers for several decades. Fortunately for me, my father was the least religious and the least bigoted man you could wish to meet. His religions were the trade unions…..and Rangers. Because he was not bigoted our next door neighbour and dad’s friend used to take me to Parkhead to watch Celtic too. Something I enjoyed immensely as I felt convinced the ‘Tims’ could see right through me…..exciting! This caused me a bit of confusion at school when I was supposed to hate the ‘Tims’….some of my family were ‘Tims’…in fact my favourite aunty was a convert to Catholicism and was as devout and decent a Catholic as you will ever meet. The conflation of football and religion was as normal as the smog filled air we breathed. It just was what it was. You were either Proddy Ranger or Timmy Celtic. It wasn’t to be questioned. Only my dad questioned it…loudly and often. He tried to explain the wrongs of the situation to me many times. I remember asking him why he still was a Rangers man if he disliked the whole Proddy/Tim thing that went with it. “They are my team son….the morons can’t change that†he told me. I accepted this dichotomy for quite a few years or at least until I started attending Ibrox on my own and watched the rampant cretinism happening around me. My normal position in the Copeland was immersed in a sea of fuckwits some of whom came over on ferries from Northern Ireland to spew out unspeakable shite at anyone stupid enough not to be wearing a Rangers strip or scarf. I grew increasingly uncomfortable with the songs, the chants and the bile. I had heard stuff at Parkhead of a similar type and my Celtic mates hate it too it seems…but it just seemed more…..intense…definite..meant…at Ibrox. More than once I pulled up someone sitting next to me about the stuff they were spewing out…either they just looked at me and shut up or it got very unpleasant as they questioned my ’loyalty’. I spent more time listening to the chants and songs of utter hatred for ‘******s’ than I did watching my team play. Eventually I just stopped going. But even then I still supported Rangers as a couch potato supporter. Then something happened that changed my attitude totally. I had a son. At first, like my dad, I assumed the boy was going to be a Ranger…then I thought about it. There was no way I was going to take him to a game and spend endless hours explaining to him that what his fellow fans were belting out was ‘just a bit of fun’ and some ‘tradition’ that they maybe really didn’t mean…or maybe did….or not…at least not the good ones. “How can you tell the good ones dad?†was the future question that bounced around my head. The answer “The ones not singing†just seemed more and more pathetic. I resolved that he would grow up to be whatever form of football fan (or not) as took his fancy. I also resolved that my half hidden hypocrisy and plainly turned blind eye was no use to either Rangers or me. I decided we would part company. That was in 1992. I have been back to Ibrox once since then. My wife and myself, along with all the other small band of supporters isolated in a corner were subjected to non-stop venom, bile, foul-mouthed abuse and threats for the entire 90 minutes. My son’s girlfriend and her father came too but left at half-time…utterly disgusted at the things they saw and heard. We also had the distinct privilege of witnessing Armed Forces Day degenerate into a farce as some of those in uniform went to the Blue Order and danced and sang the same crap that had driven me away from Ibrox in the first place. One particularly helpful RAF type came over to us to give us the benefit of his knowledge about how we were all ‘Bitter cunts’ Commendably, one Royal Navy Commander (who I believe was sent down from the stands) tried to break up this ‘celebration’ of all things blue….to little avail. The scenes were disgraceful and convinced me that my decision all those years ago had been 100% correct. Those of a Rangers persuasion can call me a liar if they so choose. I don’t lie. Recently and because of the troubles they have inflicted on themselves as a club, Rangers have decided to play the victim card. It would be funny were it not for the hypocrisy involved. The recent press release regarding the idiotic actions of stupid Hibs fans is a case in point. It is at once, hilarious and pathetic. The great chant of “We are Rangers..super Rangers…no one likes us…we don’t care†rings a bit hollow these days. Perhaps they should be asking themselves why they are indeed, almost universally disliked within the Scottish game. Are all those supporters of all those clubs just jealous bitter b*****ds? Is that it? Are they all just wrong? I still have mates who attend Ibrox…they are good guys…they are just as ashamed of the crap as me. But even though they are the majority, they feel intimidated into not challenging the shite….such is the brutal vehemence of the minority of Ranger’s ‘support’. To my mind, the past few years have encouraged a problem that was an improving situation. The bitter nasty b*****ds have the upper hand again and there seems to be no will at the top of either Rangers or the puerile SFA to change things. So….that’s my wee rant. I expect to get the usual pelters for it…but I’m sick of the whole thing. Good luck to the many, many decent Rangers men and women……you will need it. The guy who wrote this has had some tasty replies from the people online.

I'd seen Jonathan Agnew tweeting about his interview with Graeme Fowler and meant to listen to it. He's just been on with David Gower and he talks quite candidly about mental illness.

Maybe it was a social worker who ran on to the park to stage an intervention.

Better state than the people left Manchester.

Is it 2 episodes at a time all series?

So there are situations where abducting children is acceptable? What a disturbing mindset.

Yes. Snooping on his weekly column in a paper and snooping on his weekly radio show. Not quite as suspicious as trying to abduct a child though. Where celtic go, the other arse cheek are sure to follow.

Yokels, g&gs,thems.. We should get subtitles with this character.

That's a great deal and hopefully it gets Accies a few more through the gate.

Cowan lives in Glasgow now and has a child. It's no wonder he doesn't want to upset the Stranger dangers.

Thank f**k I work in the private sector. Otherwise I'd have been replaced by a Tim by now.

Apprentice boys parading at one end of the town and The Wolfe Tones out at the other end. Battle of the bands Lanarkshire style.

Poor vicky.

Bad mood or the inevitible come down from the weekends shenanigans?

There's a fourth group wallowing in wearethepeoplery as well.

I'm signing because Jim Traynor has told me to. He is a very intelligent man who has loads and loads of good ideas. He wrote a special piece for our website on Sunday, comedy genius. Now, where is my magic hat....Even their rabid petitions are getting trolled.

It's as bad as drug dealing according to them, crowd funding takes the food out of children's mouths.

It's not for everyone but checking to see if there is an AA meeting local to you might help. There's no-one medically trained there but it's full of people who've came back from a bad place.