groaninjock

Seal - Kiss From A Rose

Christ, two under one - you're a fast worker

I write a blog where I do match reports on Montrose games. And I also rip the piss out of the players. A few of the players apparently read the blog, and one of them managed to track me down on Twitter. So he posted a link to my Twitter account to the rest of the players, suggesting that I was a "keyboard hardman who types with his cock in his hand". Useless thin-skinned donkey

Second one on the way. Due at the end of January. Our daughter will be 20 months old when number two arrives. So we've traded in our Honda Jazz for a Seat Altea XL hatchback. Which is actually a better car, so no complaints. Two under two though - farewell dark hair...

Spandau Ballet - Gold

A 70s funk and soul compilation. Picking random things from my iPod that I've never or rarely listened to in the past, to pass the time at work.

Dark Knight Rises - 10/10 - based entirely on a single viewing at the Glasgow IMAX. I might come back with a different score when I've seen it again on a "normal" screen - but it's a quality film. Tom Hardy really makes it what it is - there's a real sense of menace from him every time he's on screen.

Chemical Brothers - In Dust We Trust

I've got a second baby on the way (well, more accurately, my wife does). Two kids under two from late January - farewell dark hair...

New Order - Blue Monday

Destiny's Child - Survivor

Angel Eyes - Roxy Music

If you're looking for bands with a kind of "Oasis sound", check out The Cooper Temple Clause. Three quality albums ranging from space rock to Led Zeppelin-inspired balladry to ear-splitting techno. Often in the space of a single track. Talking To A Brick wall from their second album Kick Up The Fire and Let The Flames Break Loose is very Oasisy.

It's called "The Knock-On Effect" and is the B-side to UNKLE and Ian Brown's "Be There". PM me if you can't find it...

There are a load of wee places around Falkirk that look grim as f**k - anything in the shadow of Grangemouth (including the town/village of Grangemouth itself). Peterhead's a bit of a hole. Wester Hailes and Sighthill in Edinburgh aren't exactly postcard-friendly either. But based on the reponses on here, I've missed the worst by never venturing too far into deepest, darkest Ayrshire or Lanarkshire.

One of the things I hate most about our consumerist society is automated/scripted responses from front-line customer service staff. During my lunch break today, I visited the Post Office and my bank. Having paid for postage at the Post Office, I was asked: "Would you like to top up a mobile phone today?" I don't have a pay as you go mobile phone. And if I did, I would probably top it up when I needed to, not when the Post Office gonk asked me. This was in a busy Aberdeen city centre Post Office, with a huge queue of folk, presumably some of whom were there during their lunch breaks. If this exchange takes five seconds per customer, even if the Post Office gonk is only serving one customer every five minutes, that's still a minute wasted every hour. Over an eight-hour day, that gonk could have served an additional 1.6 customers. The elderly woman next to me was asked the same question: "Would you like to top up a mobile phone today?" She may as well have been asked if she'd like to discombobulate her Higgs Boson particles. The gonk asked the question three times before giving up and assuming that the elderly lady didn't have a mobile phone in urgent need of top-uppery. Then in the bank, having paid in some cash, I was asked if I had a mortgage, the bank gonk having presumably snooped through my account and noticed that if I did, it certainly wasn't with them. "Yes, thank you" I replied. "It's not with us, is it?" "No, it's not" "Would you like us to arrange an appointment to discuss our mortgage options with you?" "No thank you" I really do wish that gonks weren't forced to rattle off this sales spiel every time a customer crossed their path. In a previous life, I worked in a call centre, and we had a scripted response when we answered a call: "Can I have your reference number please?" [Customer searches for reference number, quotes their own phone number then their meter reading. Finally sources the reference number.] "Thank you Mr McHughy. I see you have an outstanding balance of £23,675 on your account. Are you calling to pay that by debit card today?" Cue Mr McHughy launching into an apopleptic fit during which he invents several new swearwords. But my own personal favourite [and it is a favourite - it defied belief so much] was when I called T-Mobile to advise them I was leaving and would like my PAC code so I could transfer my number to a new provider. "Hi, I'd like my PAC code please" "OK, can I just ask why you're thinking of leaving us?" "Because I've moved to Argyll and I don't get a T-Mobile signal in my house." "It's just that, because you've been a long-term customer, we could offer you a good incentive to stay. We can offer 500 free minutes per month and 500 free texts." "That sounds great, but unfortunately I wouldn't be able to use the free minutes or free texts as I have no T-Mobile signal in my house." "Well, we could extend that to 750 minutes and 750 texts..." "Which again sounds great, but unless you're also going to build a mast in my back garden, I'm afraid I'll still have to say no." Modern society - I truly do despair sometimes...

Big Brother and The Holding Company - Piece of My Heart

Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head

Radiohead - Knives Out

Light

Here's a new one just in case

Game

Turin Brakes - Underdog (Save Me)

Man

Yeah, definitely. Although you got it more with old CRT tellies than you do with modern flat screens. And this is going to sound weird, but if you listen to the first track on The Stone Roses Second Coming, there's a bit around a minute or so in where you can "hear" that same effect. Must be a really high frequency sound that is only just audible to the human ear.