The Mantis

With 8 games left and 7 for Shire the bad patch will have to hurry up

"Really made me squeak" - Hamster and Furry Rodent Weekly

Definitely guider in Midlothian too...

Good list bud. I'm off to Lewis with the missus next Thurs, we go about 4 times a year as her family home is there. Shame you never got the weather. As I said somewhere else, Uig is absolutely fantastic and the beaches are as good as anywhere in Harris.

Was in the bar at the Jura Hotel and got a photo of the big mural in there. Two women were sitting near the mural so I asked them if they wanted to be in the photo or move. Got chatting to them and one of them said she was the mermaid

Never mind under 20s, I doubt if anybody under 50 will recognise this

Took Mrs Mantis to Newcastle for a couple of nights. Managed to sneak away to Benfield v South Shields 1-2, a great cup tie, League Cup 1/4 final in the pishing rain, 2 red cards and 2 pens, 1 missed. Shields play in Whitehill Welfare strips

Not really been following the thread so apologies if anythings been said already. We were warned by Hibs and Falkirk fans what to expect from Yogi. Great success in the first year or two then a decline. Falkirk got promoted, can't remember any details about Hibs. It was a great time to watch ICT but Yogi took over a good squad from Butcher and didn't seem able to replace players who moved on to bigger clubs. Apparently Latapy was a big factor in his success and ICT were never the same after he left to be replaced by Brian Rice, yogi's old mate. Two main things annoyed ICT fans in the end: we became boring and predictable, and after Yogi was refused permission to speak to United he seemed to down tools. Somehow he got a new 2 year contract but then had a stand-off with the chairman and engineered his own departure. AFAIK ICT are still paying him and we have had to go for the cheap option in Richie Foran.

Where you staying? I can give you more advice later.

Whenever I read P&B and see threads about MILFs and farting I realise I'm quite an auld c**t. So I've been loads of places. For my own use as much as anything, here's a list of my islands, I'll probably remember more later. Some have bridges mind you, although I visited some before the bridges were built and even kayaked some. Shetland - Mainland, Yell, Unst, Mousa, Vaila, Foula, Fair Isle, Bressay, Noss, Burra, Trondra, Fetlar, Whalsay, Muckle Roe, St Ninian's. Orkney - Mainland, Hoy, Burray, S.Ronaldsay, Rousay. Western Isles - Lewis & Harris, N. Uist, S.Uist, Benbecula, Barra, Eriskay, Berneray, Scarp, Scalpay, Great Bernera, Pabbay, Monach Isles, Taransay, Hirta, Bhatarsaigh. Inner Hebrides - Skye, Raasay, Rum, Eigg, Islay, Jura, Coll, Tiree, Mull, Iona, Staffa, Gigha, Arran, Holy Isle, Bute, Cumbrae, Seil, Luing, Davaar. Others - Ailsa Craig, The Bass, Cramond, Fidra, May, Inchcolm, Inchmickery, Handa. Also been to Rathlin which is a kick in the erse off Scotland, and Carrick-a-Rede, and Lindisfarne.

Have to disagree. The Barvas moor is probably the bleakest place on the planet but once you get up to Ness you've got Port of Ness, Fivepenny, Loch Stiapabhat, The Butt, loads of great cliffs & bird life. Nothing compares to Uig though, where I go about 4 times a year and which is often overlooked by the tourists. Beaches as good as any in Harris too.

What do you call a bear without a paw? Rupert the b*****d.

Invacars

And a waxwing recently at Gullane on Guy Fawkes day. They arrived quite early here in the east. Over 200 that day flying around scoffing the berries.

A cormorant at Musselburgh last year guzzling a huge trout

Good luck. Managed Cove Piedade 1 Benfica B 2, Benfica 3 Boavista 3 and Orientale 1 Loures 1 at the weekend. Couldn't be ersed going to Belenenses after that. Normally would be keener on the wee teams than the global brands but have to say the atmosphere at Benfica was terrific even when they went 3-0 down in 25 mins.

Aye Schoenfeld (sp?) to city centre is a piece of piss. Can't go wrong with Berlin even (especially?) this time of year, masses of things to see. One thing I did was take the train out to Union Berlin's stadium in Köpenick which is in the former DDR. it was 2008 but it had a very East European feel compared to West Berlin. Also the Olympiastadion, Jesse Owens and all that.

Off to Cove de Piedade v Benfica B tomorrow am followed by Benfica v Boavista afterwards.

They were sending up the Shetland detective thing.

Hope Shire stay down for a year longer. Firstly, because youse are all decent c***s, it's been a real pleasure, and secondly, if say Cowdenbeath or Berwick come down it will strengthen the reputation of the LL and possibly bring on automatic promotion in future. EK can f**k off to the big leagues, ambitious unlikeable c***s that they are

Cheers for that, haven't been paying attention recently, quite a change in fixtures. We're going thurs 12th for a week so it's just a case of what Mrs Mantis will put up with

Aye, just checked and the England & Wales version is 1983. Garden centres? My wife's tried that one a few times