whiskychimp

What was your salt intake?

Quite correct. It's red wine, whisky, rum and dark beer season. Occasional Bailleys too.

I hate a tuna ringpull. Guaranteed to get splashed by fishy juice. Good old fashioned tin opener all the way. (how many Kenneth Williams in 3 lines)

In total agreement. My favourite pizza place is a authentic Italian run by some guys from Naples. Its fucking amazing. Its been open 6 months and I bet it'll closed in another 6. Why? It's quiet as anything because it's 2 doors down from a massive and packed Pizza Express. People are brand c***s.

Eh whit? You actively picked apple to feed spoilt, rich wean's pets? Yet you couldn't possibly let such a pampered ponies eat apples that had been besmirched by touching the ground. It's you that should be heading for the glue factory. That's fucking mental

Ok then. As you were so polite. Caught it fae yer maw's fanny.

Im not even going to lower myself to the, "caught it fae yer maw's fanny" response.

Those wee tubes of Zovirax. Open and squeeze from the bottom. Absolutely nothing until the tube is half flat, then the entire contents in one go.

If you want to ignore the fact I obviously meant type 2, feel free. Also, thanks for clarifying the dentist hasn't checked your blood glucose. I'm really not sure what your family history has to do with this. Your teeth got checked at the dentist. Not unchecked. Your blood glucose was checked so thats good, depending on how long ago it was. I had my liver checked last year when I was sick. It was one point above the "normal" range and I've since kept an eye on my booze. I was only making a wee joke about your sugar consumption and you've really jumped in the deep end.

Huh?

You're correct. This is reasons to be cheerful. Im cheerful your teeth are ok and your blood sugar remains unchecked. Yay.

Its luck in as much as it's your genetics giving you a low risk of decay. Doesn't automatically extend to diabetes though, just teeth.

In complete honesty, that's horseshit.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

Does the dentist now run diabetic testing too?

It was hard not to admire the way you murdered the beautiful game all the way through that competition. Up there, just behind the Greeks winning the Euros ( or indeed Portugal)

Hate to say this but that was genius idea Unlike my non genius reading of the Mon-Fri times when it was a fucking Saturday. Even worse when you posted this on the "c***s on the road" thread. The definition of having a mare

Got a fine for being in a bus lane. Checked the footage, remember doing it and I'm also very sure I was outwith the restriction times. It's fucking miles from where we live though so I can't go and check.

How fat is your wrist? Look at the length of that strap

Nope. There's a system to cleaning. Clockwise or my family will die

Arseholes who shoulder press in the squat rack and won't vacate when asked. Actually, they shouldn't be there in the first place.

This. The face is beautiful. The strap is bowfing.

Oh Menz. I can't believe you answered my cheeky wee fishing trip.

After the uproar by @Menzel on the "Rainbow laces" thread, you fuckers are all in the shit when he finds the lack of gravitas you've given such an important campaign.

You know there's such a thing as music, right? "Hey Throbs, you relaxing in that bath?" "Aye, candles lit, bubbles up to my chin, glass of wine and paedo's being shouted at by chavs in the background."