whiskychimp

Yeah, personally I think she should get half. I just can't understand couples having seperate money at all. Let's say for example, I'm selling my flat and putting in 500k. She is putting in 5k. The mortgage is 250k.

We're buying our first place together. My share of the deposit is a vast sum of money. Do you think she should get half if we split? ( I know that reads as a challenge but it's just a question)

Avoidant paruresis perhaps. I mean the one who doesn't close the door. I'd be fine if they closed the door foer either of those reasons

Guys who piss in the pub toilet when the urinal is empty. I may need a shit. My daughter may need a piss. Move

Looked like he had good potential as a number 10 about 3 years ago. Played a nice cameo in our playoff win against Falkirk in a brief injury free week. Other than that, we haven't seen him. You are probably his last chance. If he's fit he should do well. He won't be fit

The first one is spot on. Anyone married 50 years deserves more than a round of applause

I have a key. I'm sitting in work, on my own, drinking tea and scoffing leftover chocolates

Yup. I prefer ebay for rapidly grown children. At least I feel less guilty about 2nd hand sweat shop clothes.

What do you mean? You've hit a sweet spot in life. Enjoy

The only acceptable ways to chop up a mobile number is the first 5 digits then either 2 groups of 3 or 3 groups of 2. Anything else should result in whoever is taking the number over the phone terminating the call. Old people are the worst. " 07.......7......1234.....5..........67.... 8". It's when the person taking the number recites it back in an 11-0-0. Erm, I have no idea if that's my number because I've never heard it like that. I can confirm the first 5 and last 3 digits were correct but as you didn't pause I completely missed anything in the middle.

Ftfy

Trying to give your mobile phone number over the phone. 07967 Pause. Wait for possible confirmation. 45 "yes" 456, Pause, wait longer for confirmation. 5 "yes" 534 "So that's, 07967 45456 5534?" or some other shambolic synopsis. f**k off, I'll post it

Wrath of @Menzel coming your way.

My boss fired the receptionist by email during the holidays. Poor guy turned up on Wednesday as he hadn't read his emails over the break. He was asked to leave immediately and read his emails. What a c**t.

I got more annoyed about that before I had kids. I was driving about looking for a space and c***s did that. With kids, I don't notice. I just find the next best space and don't see

I'm not going to go with a guy who played 2 games and disappeared Danny Invisible was horrible over numerous seasons. Craig Napier played a season at fullback Steve Smith was around for a long time

Apparently, she made no effort I got aftershave, a wallet, a belt and slippers. I'd have prefered nothing.

Not at all. It's not up to one person to police the speed of others. If the guy behind wants to go faster, get out the way and let him

The c**t who flashed the lights at me 3 times for not pulling out of the fast lane to let him past. We're in a queue of innumerable cars. Getting past me will get you nowhere. I don't mind having the lights flashed if I've mentally tuned out and need a wake up. This leads me onto 30 mind later The c**t who gave me a very weak middle finger, without even looking over, when I flashed him for dreaming in the fast lane. I waited 20 secs to see if he'd notice me but he just sat there at 65, no-one in either of the other lanes. He knew he was a c**t, that gesture was for the benefit of his girlfriend in the passenger seat

Plus VAT. Your repair will cost £500........ ....plus Vat. So £600, you utter walloper.

I've had my trackies on back to front all day. The pockets facing the wrong way is getting on my nerves

So in no discernable way, Dundee are comfortably bigger. Thanks.

Can you define comfortably bigger, please? Is it turnover, trophies, league positions over a period of decades or something else. I always wonder how people make these calls.

You missed one. Had a guy walking his dog in front of me. Dog is at one side of the pavement, he's at the other with headphones in. The leash is stretched across the whole pavement.

That's bad. Is it worse than lying there holding it in for an hour because you really don't want to get up?