Zen Archer (Raconteur)

Don't tell me that fanny farts don't smell.

I have put my hard hat on for this one.

I am Sparticus.

Many years ago whilst in mixed company, american movies were being discussed, when a female friend added, " Oh, is that the one with Robert De Janero?".

Staggy4life earned a few at the bookies today, give him a PM.

A bit of PMT going on with the programme editor.

Are you still "Burst" ?

I bought a couple of these in ASDA yesterday and the chechout girl asked, " Do you eat those with custard ? " Edited due to stumpy fingered typing.

New Zealand trucker has wind problem. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13537084

It's so windy, I've just seen a hen lay the same egg twice.

I've got blisters on my fingers.

Try Wallander on BBC4 @ 21:00

I had forgotten all about this, has VT managed to heat his pie yet.

Must be bad, even wrong thread.

Fucking doubt that. I've no doubt they'll do the decent thing. If it were Scottish Water, they would be round with the Evian, lickety spit. I suppose, being Scottish Gas Network, they will be round with roast dinners and a cheeky wee Rioja for you. They might even give you a sponge bath to ease the bed sores.

Have you actually asked them when the repair will be complete, or are you just enduring a particularly bad menzies.

Gas back on then. Away and get your bath. Mind and give the plebs that sorted your utility a thank you and a few farthings for their trouble.

Perhaps if VT had the Lord in him, cookers would be irrelevant, some loaves and fishes would see him through.

Shocking old bean. Put a jersey on and make your self a sandwich.

Folk starting threads wanting to know how much of an old fat b*****d you are. There will be a how long is your Boabie thread next.