Ric

Watched Drive tonight, will need to let it settle before giving a proper review, but it's safe to say it's better than I expected. I do have an unnerving desire to play Vice City now though...

Green Lantern - 2011 I'm guessing I'm not really the person to review this; I don't like blockbusters, I don't like super hero movies and I've never read the graphic novels. Then again maybe that makes me the perfect person. I'll start out by saying if you want a couple of hours of decent effects with a dreadful storyline, plot holes and character motivations that don't add up at all then this is the perfect movie for you. I suppose it's not the film's fault it's lumbered with the bunkum of the graphic novel's setup. Blah, blah, immortals, far away planet, green energy good, yellow energy bad, top bloke on Earth chosen as the new defender of his area in space. OK, that might have flown in the 50's or 60's but it's ridiculously cheesy now. The whole "don't give in to fear"(the yellow energy) idea is delivered in such a ham manner it harks back to Jim Cunningham from Donnie Darko (where are you on the love/fear line). Anyway, the rough plot is fighter pilot ace and all round good egg is chosen by "the ring" to be the new defender of his sector of space (there are 3600 of them all with their own lantern). He goes through the usual "wtf?", then training, then quitting, then realising his own worth, then returning, then doing deeds of daring do. I'm not giving away the plot here, and trust me I would love to as there are some doozies of "er... wtf?" moments. One thing I can say without getting into the storyline is that everyone around him seem to accept that their are aliens, he is now a superhero and (when the time comes) the Earth is under threat. Hardly a Roger Moore-esque eyebrow is raised. They greet all this with the same level of interest as they would if he said he had just got a new thermos flask. Maybe I am asking too much? Maybe superhero's and graphic novels are meant to be unbelievable. Maybe I'm completely missing the point? Maybe. But even though I am no great fan of the genre I liked some of the X-Men films, and Watchmen, but this is an altogether different category and not in a good way. So, er good things about it? Hmm.. the effects are decent, the film moves on at a decent pace, it won't tax you in any way at all and fair play the main character's love interest recognises him in his get up almost immediately despite him wearing one of those 1930's buglar masks - which makes a change for these sorts of movies, but that's about it for the good points. Oh, and one of the bad lot (you know he is to become bad because his hair is mental in the way only scientists who go bad can have it) does a fair enough impression of John Malkovic, even if you do wish they had got Malkovich instead. Personal rating? 4/10. P&B rating? 6/10. Seems only fair to bump it up a little, after all it's not utter shit and it is my fault for watching a movie that I sort of knew I wouldn't like, but for me it would be nice to have the 1 and a half hours of my life back.

I've got Drive waiting to be watched but the plot puts me off. That's a couple of really positive reviews now, I suppose I'll need to bite the bullet at some point. Might wait until I've got no Internet access though..

I realise this is a complete Pandora's Box of pretentiousness I've opened. I'm not criticising people for rating films at 10, I'm just not sure if any film merits that. Of course /10 is a restrictive rating. /100 and you can give yourself leeway. 96/100 is a great film but not perfect, you have trouble relating that to a /10 even though technically that is just 9.6/10

Well perhaps not never, but every film I have seen has flaws. Bladerunner, for example, my favourite film but there are numerous errors that taint it's chance of a 10/10 review.

Italian drivers. All of them.

I have to say I find the scores given here are quite high. 10/10 for Training Day? I would never give a film 10/10, and certainly not Training Day which was a good film but certainly not an epic. No offence Sydney, but I think that's just too high a rating. QP Mental then goes on to give Layer Cake 8/10 while also admitting it he thought was a less funny Snatch. Surely that drops it's level (personally I would give LC a 6 or 7, say 6.5). I'm not having a go here guys, and yes I gave Melancholia a 9 recently and after some though I am going to downgrade it to an 8 for the elements that were not done well (certain character expansion, no motive for characters to act the way they did). It's all subjective, I realise this and I'm certainly not wanting to complain about people's ratings but we should all be careful of rating things so highly that when truly great films come out (and Training Day is not that) what rating are you going to give them?

I don't feel that a big screen automatically adds to a film. I see where you are coming from and certainly the first and last 5 minutes of the film would benefit, but the rest is less about flashy effects and surround sound and all about the relationship between the two sisters. The effects were used very sparingly. One thing I would say, and I'll be careful not to put in any spoilers, but with knowing the plot and seeing Justine's depression in the first half of the film I thought she knew what was going to happen, hence why she was so depressed. Still, definitely one of the best films of the year so far for me, although I'd need to check back and see what 2011 releases there have been. I would have liked the relevant husband's characters expanded more though. Sutherland especially had little to do with the film and his final scene in the film (again trying to avoid spoilers) left me feeling a bit like there was a chunk of film sitting on the cutting room floor that they forgot to add back in. It also seemed pretty much out of character.

Didn't like Human Traffic at all to be honest. A coming of age film that is all to predictable and lacking in originality. The film starts with a man called Jip and that pretty sums up his character. The caveat I suppose is that it's a film meant for teenagers who may have not already seen other, much better, films covering the subject. In the same way toddlers find Teletubbies engrossing this film passed me by with a very apathetic, "meh". Oh, and, their description of drug use is also pretty much simplistic and incorrect. I would be hard pushed to give it a 4, albeit it does have the rather chucklesome line, "Reach for the lasers.."

Melancholia - 2011 - Lars von Trier I could some this review up in three words.. "wow, just wow" This is a difficult film to summarise, it's effectively 2 films in one; a psychological drama mixed with a disaster movie. While the first hour can be a bit slow going, after the slightly confusing opening minutes, it's needed to expand the emotions of the two women in the second part, which is where the story all comes together. The cast is excellent, and while Kirsten Dunst is perhaps the focus for the first half it's Charlotte Gainsborough's performance that really stands out as a wife, a mother and a sister stuck in the middle of a dysfunctional family and a straight laced husband played by Keifer Sutherland. What Trier has done excellently is create a disaster movie that doesn't involve lots of fast moving media hyperbole, no flustered politicians or religious nut jobs. Instead by avoiding this he can concentrate on the matter at hand; the relationship between the sisters. The effects when needed are subtle and all the better for it. There are "flaws" if you could call them that. Some characters are not that well developed, the kid seems to be mute at times of stress and ultimately it does feel a little like two movies put back to back, but it's still a cracker of a film and well worth watching. 9/10 8/10 - amended score after reflection.

Don't think I could bring myself to watch it, it just sounds and looks awful. Someone gave me a download of Hall Pass and I managed all of about 20 minutes before screaming at the laptop and immediately deleting the file. I put Shallow Hal in that category. btw, did you know that Hall Pass cost $36 million to make? Fucking incredible.

I was disappointed by it. I expected more after Moon, but maybe that's why I was disappointed. The twist at the end just doesn't work and even half way through I was wishing they would die in the train crash repeatedly for the rest of time just for my amusement. One of those films that probably sounds great in a pitch but is a bit pants once you get down to the job of writing it. No, no, no... Inception, while hardly being the mindfuck some simpletons thought it was, was a significantly better film in many ways. Ooh, and earlier, someone gave Winters Bone a 4. Pretty harsh scoring for what is a very decent movie.

A surprisingly high rating for that, imo. I've only given it a watch once so perhaps I'm missing something.

Red Planet (2001) Carrie-Anne Moss and Val Kilmer in Sci-Fi played by the numbers guff that has characters acting out of, er, character a complete disregard for physics and a predictable ending (which I won't give away). It's a few years old so the plot is going to sound a decade out of date, but for what it's worth Earth is dying after we have poisoned it so we decided to send unmanned capsules of algae to Mars in some attempt to terraform the atmosphere and after 20 years or so a team of scientists are sent to find out how it's going. Safe to say nothing quite goes to plan however even when disaster and/or tragedy strikes nobody seems to care and the protagonists deal with situations as calmly as they were pouring themselves a cup of coffee and let some spill. Characters exist merely to deliver the odd line or to add a bit of scenery and even if you can get past the dreadful script the complete disregard for any laws of physics will annoy you (well, it annoyed me at least) to the point of apathy. All in all? 4/10 purely for at least having a fairly recognisable cast and a decent enough budget so the special effects don't suck. Enough to waste a couple of hours? Sure if you have some alcohol, soft drugs or a partner willing to indulge in some lurid sexual display so you don't need to give the film your full attention.

Surely some clarification is in order. Did you not buy our old seating from Love Street or was it part of the stand. Either way, it was our cast offs which have helped you lot dream the dream of top division football. How long those dreams last is another matter of course.. Au contraire, mon ami. While the thought of Morton in the top flight would bring back all the memories of the late 80's, it would bring much joy to many to see them finally reach the "promised land". The joy I mention is of course the satisfaction in the knowledge that relegation wouldn't be an issue that year.

Like you do with Kilmarnock? That said, we have a rivalry of sorts every season for the Renfrewshire Cup. It's just a shame that Morton don't ever want to win it.. Not sure where you are coming from, the two most recent "informative" threads (wind-up is such a dirty 1st division phrase) have been entirely on the money. It has been over 20 years since Morton graced the top division, and it has been 35 years since they were last above us in that league. It seems you have made a c**t of suggesting I made a c**t of anything.. Still greeting because he was bitch slapped in the SPL forum..