Hillonearth

Had a couple of jars of Williams' Caesar Augustus lager/IPA hybrid, which is on tap at the Clockwork in Mount Florida. Strange pint, more like a heavily hopped lager than anything else, but worth trying...

In my case, retrospect meaning Samantha Fox is around my age, therefore when they showed the then 15 year old in the Sun in the early 80s saying she'd be whipping 'em out the following week when she was legal my thoughts were along the lines of "Right on..." Looking back as an adult, it's specifically the countdown element that's a bit disturbing, as it almost has undertones of a symbolic defloration by the nation considering the amount of people who read the Sun back then.

Nowadays - different story in the 80s though, when the likes of Samantha Fox were doing it the minute they turned 16. I think she was another one they did the countdown till her birthday with. Well creepy in retrospect.

She looks a bit like a slightly scary burd used to work in our place - works nights out when she was there were like David Attenborough documentaries, with her circling about like an big overfed lion scoping out a herd of wildebeest looking for the one at the back with the gammy leg, or in works night out terms the most steaming guy there.

Some good tweets doing the rounds from the lovely Rhian Sugden (27): It's only a matter of time before everything we do will be dictated by comfy shoe wearing... No bra wearing... man haters #page3 Well done ladies, you've campaigned us all the way back to 1955. What a sad day for feminism... #page3 ETA: Doesn't seem right though to read her opinions without a picture to the left of them of her standing in her pants...

They do strike me as a group of people who still buy their Trevor Horn over the counter, in a subscription to Mayfair and kid on they buy it for the articles way...

"Ejaculate" is one of those words - like the word "gay" - that really only has one sense these days. Makes for some strange reading when it's used in print, like the passage from one of the Sherlock Holmes stories when Watson ejaculates from his very heart in the direction of his fiancee.

They use some weird ones right enough - they normally use FBY for February unlike the rest of the world's FEB.

Rule #16 of clubbing - people will drink any kind of cat piss going if there's a promotion on for £1 a bottle, ...

Boy on the left looks like Rob Brydon after he's got his head caught in machinery.

Frank Hovis was excellent too - need to get that Absolutely box set watched again...

Mostly, although I'd argue an honourable exception for Sam Kinison, who was great. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ5-IjxuHxI

It's definitely had its day. It seems a hangover from the '80s kind of in the same way seeing snooker or darts on the TV does. I don't reckon it's the earner or stepping stone for the girls the way it used to be either - back in the day the likes of Sam Fox, Maria Whittaker or Linda Lusardi were genuine celebrities and must have made a packet out of it. I'd struggle to name one of the girls who do it now.

The Record definitely did - they used a lot of Scottish models IIRC. A college pal of the girl I was going out with at the time featured a few times. When I met her it there was no point undressing her with my eyes. Mirror Group had already done it for me several months before.

Dunno what the correct name for them is, but at the end of the night what you'll almost certainly be left with is a pile of sticks with no cheese and the pineapple still on them.

1. Michael McIntyre - cosy middle-class "isn't it funny when you can't find the quinoa in Waitrose?" type pish 2. Lee Evans - sweaty gurning dick 3. Peter Kay - cosy working-class "who remembers Old English Spangles?" type pish 4. Jason Manford - Peter Kay lite, which to be fair isn't difficult 5. Jim Davidson - because he's Jim Davidson

Short for OBE-se?

When you get talking to someone with Asperger's about a subject they're interested in, the depth and breadth of their knowledge is often fascinating, which was a feat Supras consistently failed to achieve during his time here.

The way some people stock up for Christmas as if there's going to be a nuclear war. The shops'll be shut two days max, it's not Doomsday Preppers.

Blocks the doors in Dundee by the looks of it.

The West End in Glasgow used to just be classed as the areas more or less immediately adjacent to Byres Road (Hyndland/Dowanhill/Partickhill/Hillhead/Kelvinside) but it seems to have grown exponentially thanks to the efforts of optimistic estate agents and it has to be said some wish-fulfilment by punters living nowhere near those areas to the point where it seems to encompass the whole western half of the city. I remember being in one of the boozers in Ashton Lane with a mate a few years ago when I lived around there when we ran into a guy he knew who had some pals in tow, one of whom was an utter up-himself bawsack who'd obviously thought he'd made it in life as he'd recently moved into what he thought was the West End and couldn't finish a sentence without reminding everyone of the fact. Eventually, my mate asked him where it was he lived. "Oh, you'd never have heard of it..." "Bet I will have" "It's very exclusive, but it's right in the heart of the West End - five minutes from Byres Rd" "Aye, but what's it called?" "Academy Park" "That's in fuckin' KNIGHTSWOOD! Five minutes from here in what, an F-15?"

Y'know, after being in town this afternoon, I was going to post pretty much this. It's worse this time of year, I reckon down to the punters who only come into town a couple of times a year and who have completely lost the ability to function in crowds. To the three-abreast crawl and the sudden stop already mentioned, you can add the 90 degree turn with no warning, immediately followed by the dirty look as the 15 people walking behind pile into them, and the punters who go to walk out of a shop then freeze in the doorway for ten seconds as the sensory overload short circuits them.

Not quite as clinically insane as it initially sounds - she was made up to look like a grunter in the show, but she was actually quite tidy in a Sixties-looking burd style back in the day: