BinoBalls

3 weeks since he's tweeted anything. Silly bugger has probably forgotten his twitter login. Genuinely wouldn't surprise me.

McCoist To Fellate Everyone Who Attended The Rangers v East Fife Game Last Night A delirious Ally McCoist today vowed to personally blow every last supporter who attended the Rangers versus East Fife League Cup match at Ibrox last night. The fans were just magnificent, enthused McCoist. From the way they made their way to the stadium, to the way they sat in their seat and watched the match, to the way they exited the stadium I thought they were excellent, and what better way to thank them than getting down on my knees and sucking some cock. Theyve all been through so much: our squad is down to just 7 internationalists, we conceded a goal at Brechin, and, worst of all, there are no Catholic clubs in the 3rd division for our loyal supporters to remind of their genetic inferiority. But Im sure five minutes of having my gums wrapped round their throbbing manhoods will go some way to redressing the balance. East Fife fans are currently seeking clarification to see if they can be excluded from McCoists oral marathon, although many have speculated that at least having a cock in his mouth might shut him up for a while. "This is a wonderful gesture from Ally," commented chief executive Charles Green. "Granted it's going to take him a while to get round all 52,319 fans.... sorry, scratch that? Did I say 52 thousand? I meant 38. Yes, 38. Definitely only 38. Ahem."

True. Especially if the perpetrator was Jim Traynor.

What is all this utter pish from McCoist about Sevco fans "deserving" big name signings?? Literally everything McCoist says is nonsense these days. Their fans are the personification of a spoiled brat who doesn't appreciate anything. One day they had their toy confiscated and so Daddy has gone out and bought him 10 new toys to keep the poor little lamb happy. I'll tell you who deserves some big name signings: every other club in Scotland who's fans have been shafted by Rangers. Honestly all this "our fans have been magnificent" garbage is going to run and run. It will be like the Gretna fairytale thing. The press will be wanking all over Sevco's crowds and helping to perpetuate the myth that somehow the orc fans are real heroes for the way they have, erm, attended some football matches. I'll tell you who's fans I admire: East Stirlingshire, Montrose, Elgin, et al. Fans of clubs who go along and support their team, who don't need big money signings, who don't act like the fat spoiled kid that lived with Harry Potter's adopted parents, who don't play whataboutery over child abuse, who don't tolerate the singing of secterian songs, who don't threaten boycotts, who don't pay any attention to Sandy Jardine, who don't follow a team from a city they aren't from, who don't generally treat the rest of Scottish football with utter disdain.

It seems implausible I know, but it's almost as if they don't really care one way or the other. It's almost as if their entire defence will be to point at other clubs with much less widespread problems and whine "But what about them? What about Queen Of The South?!! You're all just anti-Rangers!!". But surely that cannot be the case. I'm quite sure many of them, hell the majority of them, have written to their club to express serious concern that sectarian singing continues in the year 2012. I am doubly sure many of them have tapped the offenders on the shoulder at matches and asked them to cease their behaviour, because it's only a tiny minority of idiots, right??

On the radio i heard -- loud and clear -- the "We are Rangers, Super Rangers" song, with the "We hate Celtic, ****** b*****ds" line in there being shouted audibly by many. Why are Rangers fans still singing this? Why are decent Rangers fans not objecting?

That law was removed last week after Fat Sally told a high court judge he would never accept it.

Might be more effective to video them in full voice if you have a phone that does that. We could start a collection on youtube then fire it off to Mr Platini. Today was a preview of what every Sevco away game will be like.

I see Charlie Green is at it again saying the reason SPL clubs didn't vote Sevco in was down to bigotry and jealousy from SPL supporters. Here was me thinking it was about not letting a cheating, liquidated club carry on in an unprecedented way as if nothing had changed. Reminds me of that Celtic fanzine article (or was it the Celtic View) which claimed anyone who disliked Neil Lennon did so purely for religious reasons. Very ironic that it's the clubs with the two most sectarian fanbases in Scotland who are the ones complaining about being discriminated against for religious reasons. Oh and I heard some of the Orcs belting out some of the old party favourites at Brechin today. But no doubt Fat Sally will come out and describe the supporters today as "absolutely magnificent" or some other utter guff like that. Good to see nothing's changed.

McCoist Refuses To Accept Rangers Didn’t Win Champions League Last Season Speaking at a supporters rally, Ally McCoist made it clear he will never accept that Rangers didn’t win the Champions League last season. The head coach of Sevco is adamant that Rangers beat Barcelona 2-1 in a thrilling final in Munich two months ago, and lambasted “sinister forces” inside the SFA and UEFA who are trying to claim otherwise. “What they are doing to our club is unforgivable,” vented McCoist, closely flanked by his handlers from Carstairs psychiatric hospital. “The joy we all felt when Kirk [broadfoot] headed the winner past Víctor Valdés will never go away,” asserted the angry newco boss, to loud cheers from the assembled Sevco fans. “We won that final fair and square. But now people are trying to tell us we were pumped out in the preliminaries, and that Chelsea won it on penalties? It’s outrageous!” Added McCoist forcefully: “Who are these people? We demand to know.” The rotund ex-Rangers striker was then bundled into an ambulance and taken back into care. Club ambassador Sandy Jardine then stepped forward to address the crowd, and urged the Sevco loyal to boycott Champions League matches next season, as a show of their defiant corporate might. “Make no mistake, we know who our enemies are,” revealed Jardine, who earns an excellent wage for stoking up hatred. “And I predict Real Madrid and Inter Milan will go to the wall without our fans there to bankroll them next season.”

Fat Sally needs to stop acting like an irresponsible bitch-faced spoilt brat. I used to think he was an allright bloke, but his sense of entitlement is only surpassed by his sense of denial and complete failure to accept Rangers should take any more than a fleeting whiff of responsibility for their plentiful sins. His revelation that everyone at the club shares his view speaks volumes. I thought they were supposed to be sorry? My mistake. It's almost as if that's something they just blurted out one day to try and get voted back into Division One, but didn't actually mean. Nah, I'm sure that can't by right... Reality is the club is clearly staffed full of arrogant brats who don't give a flying duck about anything other than ensuring their cancerous club march back through the leagues as quickly as possible and take their rightful place back at the top of the SPL, so they can resume shitting on us all from above and telling us we should be grateful to have their bigoted keech all over our shoulders. And as for this bit, I wonder if Sally managed to keep a straight face: "Operating with an embargo on an already depleted first team squad - even with a window to sign players - will make the task ahead an extremely difficult one." They are going to be playing in the 3rd division. Their team will contain some internationalists and some talented youngsters. They will be the only full-time team. Elbows McCulloch will actually look like a talented footballer for one season. IMO, they will win at least 75% of their matches and yet Sally is bleating about it being "extremely difficult". Extremely difficult is like climbing Mount Everest, or pulling a supermodel, or admiring Neil Lennon. Only someone so spoiled & unappreciative of what they have in comparison to others could make such a ridiculous statement.

Had a read of that thread but I had to stop when I read one Orc giving his preference: "Accies away. Stadium is just behind my house. Would be good to take my 6 year old to her first ever game to see the Rangers." There are about 6 different things to get annoyed about in that short statement: 1. Not supporting his local team. 2. Not supporting his local team even though he lives right next to the fucking stadium. 3. He probably lives in the Whitehill area of Hamilton; the place that time forgot. 4. He is going to get his poor daughter into supporting Rangers, instead of taking her to see Accies. 5. He refers to the team as "The" Rangers. 6. They aren't called Rangers anymore.

And what is incredibly, genuinely, sad about that is many orcs will be delighted that they can use reports of child abuse as a weapon to score points and play whataboutery against Celtic with. I wonder when they heard the story, how many of them felt outraged or upset, probably very few. The majority -- and definitely the ones from the RM tribe -- would have thought "yaasss! here's something I can use to wield over Celtic fans". Not a thought for the innocent victims. They are merely exploiting the victims' pain for their own sordid, pathetic needs. Christ, no wonder they were the most hated club in Scotland.

I've been beating the necrophilia drum for years now. You're all just Johnny-come-lately gloryhunters

Absolute chaos in the streets of Stirling. Saw a guy walking on the road instead of the pavement earlier. They'll need to bring in the riot police pronto if they want to stop a repeat of the London riots.

Surprise surprise. SFL should now delay their vote as a GIRUY to the wombler of cocks.

It was 5 clubs the other day, but I see we're up to 6 now. It'll be 7 by the time the SPL vote comes round tomorrow. Lies lies and more lies. Thing is, if 5 clubs do go bust, then they could simply get re-admitted to SFL1. Everyone's a winner. Seems to be the way things are done.

That's how my Dad died.

What is annoying about Traynor is that you know he will be just aching for a few clubs to go into Admin in the coming seasons so he can crow about it on the radio. "Many of us warned this was going to happen but we were told we were being dramatic and that it wouldn't happen.... blah blah blah blah". It brings me immense satisfaction that Sevco to SFL3 will hurt the Daily Record's circulation enormously. Good. I hope Traynor is the first man they fire.

What we need are precise predictions of what these two fudbuckets mean by "scottish football will die". Could they detail exactly what they envisage our league structure and club composition looking like in five years time. Of course they wont do this... because they'd be wrong. Far easier to hide behind vague scaremongering about things being "dead".

When the takeover bids were coming in, rangers fans were dead against liquidation because it would lose their history. Now it's happened that is being swept under the carpet and instead we have this hysterical pretence that everything is tickety-boo. It's like being deported to america but trying to claim you're actually still in the UK because you left your soul in Glasgow. As an aside, is there a single person on this planet who uses the acronym 'WATP' who isn't a nailed-on dysfunctional bell-end?

Doncaster Announces Plans For Radical Shake Up Of His Hairstyle Citing a need for urgent change across the full spectrum of his outer skull, Neil Doncaster last night announced plans for a radical shake up of his hairstyle. The inherently evil SPL Chief Executive took a break from drowning puppies in his kitchen sink to present his vision for a slicker, more modern, haircut. “It’s clear we need sweeping changes right across each of my hair follicles if I am to meet the considerable challenges that lie ahead,” declared the grinning former Norwich City chief executive. “I was speaking to Ralph [Topping] after a fox-hunt last week about how we could close down an orphanage and use it as an SPL five-a-side venue, when he suggested people might be more accepting of my dastardly schemes if I looked more like a professional executive and less like a serial killer on acid.” “He can be a cheeky p***k but he’s probably got a point.” Doncaster’s hairstyle has – up until now – operated a rigid style where each strand was super glued into place, and any new strand coming through had to meet a stringent follicle-excellence test before it was accepted into the main body of hair. So far, no new hair strands have made the grade. “The time has come for radical reform,” added Doncaster, while casually beating his household servant with a rolling pin. “Which is precisely why I have made an appointment with a senior stylist for a full wash, cut, and style at Toni & Guy in the city centre.” “It will certainly make a change from cutting my own hair with a pair of garden shears.” Glasgow Fashionistas are already speculating that the portly SPL enforcer will plump for a Mohawk, although some suggest dying half his hair blue and the other half green would be appropriate.

I am desperate to know who put together the SFL powerpoint so i can arrange to send them a jobby in the post. I also want to know who is behind the "adopt this or we'll do SPL2" threat. Who are these arrogant fckwits that think they can defile our game so horrifically?

That's because they have gotten a whiff of other fans' unhappiness. Unlike the Rangers fans who have stayed on here through thick and thin, this is a different breed we're seeing tonight: and there's nothing a shallow air-brained Orc loves more than a chance to lord it over other people, thus giving their pathetic lives some temporary meaning.

Totally agree; we need to be told who is behind this. I cannot believe this suggestion that five clubs could go bust before the end of next season. Shameless scaremongering of the worst kind. That would suggest we have five clubs for whom relegation would mean they would disappear. Someone is briefing the press to say these things.... we have no quotes from anyone but the press must know who is saying this. We need to be told who it is, and which clubs support the statement.