Happy Buddie

Best ever to grace the SPL? Oh, right, no argument there, then, that's a stick-on!

Sorry, must have brain death, but who was, is, CC?

The names of the players are important, particularly if they are the same ones who have been shouting loudest about how it's all a conspiracy, like Hately, Goram McCoist, "we need clarity and total transparency", remember, Ally, be careful what you wish for, LOL.

If only this could be looked at as a balancing act, as in "If RFC had played by the financial rules, over 20 years, they would have won 100 glory stars, including Scottish Cups, League Cups and League titles. As it is they won 200 glory stars, they will be penalised 100 glory stars over the next 20 years" So, we can work out how many league points on average they would lose over the next 20 years, and place a financial cap on their transfer spending over that time. Christ, if the BuggERRS are moaning about what's happening just now, how would they squeal with my scenario in place? I mean, it's only fair, if they have screwed Scottish football for that length of time, the punishment should fit the crime.

The RFc situation in general is my favourite topic of conversation at the moment, this could be the most interesting close season ever, better than all the spurious wh's going where shyte. i was talking to a guy at the weekend who just happens to be an accountant, and a turnaround expert at that. We discussed the RFC issue and he can't see anyway this ain't going to end in liquidation. He also is quite interested and told me that a legal contact of his says that at least two law firms have had large parcels of documents delivered from the BBC's lawyers, severely censored to eliminate all details of identities, to be as he says "peer reviewed". Despite the censorship, they definitely related to a football club. I've never heard of this practice happening between law firms, so, if this has to do with tonight's documentary, does it mean it's really big?

Dear Mrs Danger, the only problem that the diddy clubs will have without RFC will be that they might have to organise their finances for next season as Dunfermline have had to do, i.e. cut their cloth to suit less income. Better to kick the ba4s=tards now that they are down and go with the new mantra, from the film "Network", "I'm madder than Hell, and I'm not going to take any more". Now's the chance to get a step up the ladder for the rest of us, and if RFC come back and get past us again, good luck to 'em, but this gives us a chance to maybe get a wee bit closer to getting a shot at European glory every now and then.

Now, there's an idea that really just might make everybody happy. Rangers stay in the SPL, but have to pay off every last bent dime they owe, over, whit, 10 years. That's £12m - £15m a year depending on who your listening to. Let's put that to a Berrs vote. Get 'em all into Ibrox for a show of hands. I guess framing the question is as much of a minefield as the Independence question. "Do you want this club to maintain its history and try to gain back a bit of respect, by paying off all debts, or do you just want to say feck' em, WATP, and carry on, debt-free in the SPL with no sanctions as if nothing had ever happened?"

My post from this morning around 09: 00 today "Hasn't it all gone quiet, though? IMHO, I think the SFA and SPL are just letting financial nature take its course. In due time, the money at Ibrox will run out, Captain Green and the Mysterons will head back to the Lonely Planet, RFC will simple implode quietly and disappear up its own ar$ehole with barely a fizz, and the SFAPL can sit back and say "nothing to do with us." That way, the Orcs have no-one to vent their anger on and they'll be left stomping up and down Broomloan Road and Paisley Road West fighting with each other, like the Big-endians and Little-endians in Gulliver's Travels, over which retro team shirt will make most on Antiques Roadshow in 50 years time". Kind of says the same as you. Another metaphor would be all the whale lovers standing round the last ever blue whale starnded on the beach, nobody sticking the knife in as deserved to put it out of its misery, cos they don't want to be seen to be the one responsible for the extinction of the species. GO ON. KICK ITS HEID IN. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. PS I'm wetting myself with anticipation over the BBC programme tomorrow night. It really does seem to have got a few backs up and I hear the reason it was delayed is that it's so explosive, the BBC lawyers crawled all over it to make sure they were bullet-proofed on it.

Aye, that's the five penalties against Hibs, with one sent off for each penalty, (outside the box) just like Saturday. Unfortunately, the ref for that game's a wee bit slow on tghe uptake, and when he was told he had to award RFC (2012) five penalties, he didnae realise he had to spread them out over a full season.

Souness is to front a new organisation which is going to turn Ibrox into a Rangers FC-themed boutique hotel. Ex Rangers "legends" will be employed in relevant departments -: Andy Goram is to be the wine sommelier (watch those profits go!!), Tam Forsyth will be chief chucker-oot (Ah never touched him, Officer!!) Sandy Jardine will be credit controller, charged with intimidating customers who don't pay their bills (irony upon irony), and John Greig will just hing aboot the front door, daein' nothing, like he's always done since he stopped playing. The Suits are there to provide endless amounts of money, in the hope that one day it will be aviable venture, and they'll be able to make a profit. Please feel free to nominate the legend of your choice for any job vacancies. (Oh, BTW, NCNA, it is Ibrox)

Here's a wee thought which might just give you a crumb of comfort, depending upon a couple of things happening. : 1. The transfer embargo stays 2. The overpaid "star" players leave, giving The Pie Man a team of weans to use next season 3. RFC (2012) get the gig to stay in the SPL next season. Now the fun starts. 5. RFC (2012), average age 17years old, play Ross County at Ibrox in the first game of the season and get humped 8-0. Second game of the season, they're at St Mirren Park, where a capacity 10000 crowd turn up "just in case", and it's 6-0 to the home team. 6. 2nd home game of the season, a "crowd" of 2200 turn up at Ibrox to see RFC (2012) lose 9-5 to Hibernian (well, did you SEE their defence on Saturday?) 7. RFC (2012) travel to Inverness, where Big Tel persuades his boys to go easy on the wee lads and win biy only 2-1. 8. Every SPL club gets a new home attendance record againts RFC (2012) as clubs vie to set a new SPL scoring record. I HAVE A DREAM !!!!

Hasn't it all gone quiet, though? IMHO, I think the SFA and SPl are just letting financial nature take its course. In due time, the money at Ibrox will run out, Captain Green and the Mysterons will head back to the Lonely Planet, RFC will simple implode quietly and disappear up its own ar$ehole with barely a fizz, and the SFAPL can sit back and say "nothing to do with us." That way, the Orcs have no-one to vent their anger on and they'll be left stomping up and down Broomloan Road and Paisley Road West fighting with each other, like the Big-endians and Little-endians in Gulliver's Travels, over which retro team shirt will make most on Antiques Roadshow in 50 year time.

I just saw the article in today's Daily Ranger. They're at it again, talking-up this whole load of cobblers. "We're good enough to win the SPL if we keep our star players". Give the DR journos one peep of blue sky and they're back to being Masters of the Universe. Just at what point does a journalist say to the interviewee "Sorry, you're talking keich, in all honesty I can't print this mince"?

Thanks for the upodate, it was a long time ago. I did have some feeling that Ally might be wrong, but there was another who went straight to either RFC or CFC on the Monday after a blinding game against one of THEM.

He must be using the same calculator H&D used last week , pe-final bids, when quoted in the Daily Ranger as saying "3 of the 4 bids are at a very advanced stage, in the hands of the lawyers, as are 2 of the others". I worked that out at least at 7 possible bids then, cos the "others" must be more than 2, say 3, and add in the "4" from "3 of the 4", that gives 3 + 4 = 7. Mibbe using accountancy practices like that is how the Gers got in such a phucked up state in the first palce

I was watching Newsnight last night, it focussed on the situation in Greece. A Greek politician was asked why the people had voted the way they did in the elections and he said "They feel they are being punished for something that is not of their making". Have Andy Kerr or Mark Dingwall been feeding shyte to the Grekes as well? An the real reason Greece is in the broon stuff? Cos naebody wis payin their taxes. They were living beyond their earnings. My mate, Tommy, was in Greece on business a few years ago, waiter gave him a bill for 25 euros. Cos he was on businees trip, Tommy asked for an official receipt. Waiter took the bill away and returned with an official one for 32 euros, cos with the first tehy wouldn't have paid tax on it. See Greece, see Ibrox, see tax evasion, see the shyte it gets you into.

In the bad old days, before the transfer window thingy, if a guy played a blinder against the OF on a Saturday, he'd be signed up by them by 5pm on the Monday. I specifically remember this happened to Bobby McKean, and I think to Ally McLeod, from The Saints. Not that they wanted them in their team, it was just to stop them playing against them.

Well said, Sir. I remember going on holiday to Arbroath (I know, I know, it was a long time ago), when i was just a nipper and wondering why all the buses were going in the other dirction as we passed through Dundee, with RFC scarves hanging out of the windows, and had signs up saying "Aberdeen Loyal"

Aye, as in herr (crowning glory), merr (an increased amount), sterr (a structure desinged to increase one's elevation), ower therr (at a point some distance away) . Oh, where is Stanley Baxter when you need him!! I'm married to a Weegie,so I kinda speaka da lingo. She still lapses into into the Weegie patois now and again and I have no compunction about ripping the pi$h out of her when she does it. I slip into my most gutterall Weegie ned accent and she hates it. I particularly love her pronunciation of Hospital, when she totally misses out the "t" and replaces the "a" with a "u", quali-eh, maaan.

This is obviously an educated guy. I suspect a PhD from Belfast University, his thesis was on "The Speeches of Ian Paisley"

I don't ofetn tune in to Sports sound or SSB, but I will make a point tonight. Might even get wound up enuff to fone in.

hey, that's a wee bit below the navel. But there'll be a lot mair than 96 million tears coming oot o' Govan shortly, it's bad enough as it is just now. The Clyde'll be carrying that much salty watter, they'll have to issue flood warnings for Yoker and Clydebank.

I remember a group called ? and The Mysterians, played a song called "96 tears". Mibbe he's linked to them. Then again, there was a programme on telly called Captain Scarlet when I was wee (his mates were all called after colours) puppets wi strings, it had a horde of aliens in it called The Mysterons.hehhhhhh, this is all gettin too spooky .....Ladies and Gentlemen I present you with the SOLUTION, Captain Whyte, Captain Green, and The Mysterons, they're all having their strings pulled by some guy called Anderson... Lyle Anderson? Viv Anderson? Jist Anderson (Man. U.) ? See me, see conspiracy theories.

I saw it reported the other day that Charles Green's consortium consisted of big players in the Indonesian and Asian "medical worlds". This was a typographical error. it should have read "medical wards", the psycho wards that is. Unless of course those big playears actually play for the Singapore Royal Hospital's 2nd XI, and they'll be drafted in to play as amateurs when the Big Fire Sale at The Big Hoose is finished?

I love that link. If I might use it to illustrate the Blue Mind ( the number of steps they take depends upon the IQ, i.e. many will stop on step 2. The 5 steps of Mourning 1. Denial and isolation. - It wisnae us. A big boy did it and ran away. Naebody likes us, we don't care. 2. Anger - They Fe**an Ba$7ards are all out to get us 3. Bargaining - If only we hadnae wanted tae win at any cost, if only we had asked Minty where the money was coming from, if only he hadnae sellt tae Whyte, if only we'd paid our taxes. 4. Depression - Whit am ah gonnae dae oan a Seterday noo? Will ah huv tae go shoppin wae the missus? Ah'm too young tae take up boolin'. They Fe**an Ba$7ards are gonnae win the league every year. 5. Acceptance - Anybody know where PollokJuniors play?