kev23

I’m 26 and recently been diagnosed with depression and GAD. My life, up until around 4 months ago was always fine. I just lived a normal life with good days and bad days and never really thought too much of it. One day towards the end of July I just had a breakdown and I’ve never been able to get myself out of this feeling of dread and helplessness despite not knowing exactly why I feel like this. I have a very good family, good friends and I’ve recently, by chance, become close to my ex who has done so much for me over the last few months. We broke up for no real reason a year back and I probably don’t deserve her to be there, but she is and she’s brilliant. On paper, everything should be fine but it’s not and my mind just doesn’t stop. I’ve worked in the same place for 7 years, and I don’t really mind it. However I’ve taken more time off (4 individual days) in the last 2 months than the whole time I’ve been there. They’ve been supportive of me, and know I could most likely be signed off so they’re happy for me to just plod along but that’ll only last so long. I recently moved out and I live alone but I’m never really by myself. People are always there, in and out. Not necessarily checking up on me, but just being around because it’s what they’d do regardless. Socially I have given up drinking almost completely. Going from a Friday Saturday Sunday pub goer to having 4 beers over a weekend hasn’t really been as challenging as I thought. I fill my time with TV and talking to people, whether it be in the house or over the phone. I’ve been prescribed 100mg of setraline (?) and some other tablet for GAD that slows my heart rate each day. I didn’t feel as helpless after taking them for a while, but I felt numb and sort of like a non human. I existed but I didn’t really have a feeling. The last week I’ve not taken them, and although I’m more ‘sad’ I feel my ‘happy’ is better when I find it. I could have been considered suicidal for a while, but I have zero intentions of putting the people around me through hell just to get out of it myself. One thing I did that seemed to help short term was make amends with people who I had wronged over the years. I’ve never done anything particularly bad, but my immaturity at a young age probably hurt people more than I thought. I don’t really know why I wrote this, because I honestly don’t know why I feel like this and sometimes feel I have no real reason to, but there you go.

What the hell is going on..?

People worried about our finances will be nowhere to be seen once we get the 8 figures for Tait.

When Raith fans ask Dunfermline fans about a player they had 5 years ago, they're not going to tell you about how his spell at Ebbsfleet went are they.

Favourable fixtures in our betfred cup group. https://www.raithrovers.net/44701/betfred-cup-group-fixtures-announced.htm

Bought the Adidas Córdoba after being drawn from the size raffle. I really liked the Adidas Paris End exclusive that was released a few weeks back but missed out.

Over the last few weeks I've watched ; 'The Rain' - Scandinavian survival series which I wish I never bothered with after a few episodes. Final season comes out soon so I'll finish it more so due to curiosity than excitement. 'Umbrella Academy S1' - very good and I'm looking forward to watching S2 over the next few days. 'Snowpiercer' - Jennifer Connelly is an absolute wid.

Give kids footballers wages!

Season hasn't even started and I'm already looking forward to it ending.

You're probably looking too much into that. Another opportunity to order is expected. I'm sure it was in the bulletin as Zen Archer points out.

Ghanaian striker incoming?

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.deadlinenews.co.uk/2015/07/23/raith-rovers-is-next-destination-for-serial-trialist-jj-hooper/amp/

JJ Hooper on trial at Kilmarnock. Remember him playing vs a Celtic XI for us years back. It's going to be very hard to guess the trialist this preseason through a live stream, if we do them for friendlies.

Good bit cycle on Thursday. I considered cycling it home but bailed into a pub and got the train.

I'm by no means Davidson's biggest fan but I find it mental that anyone gets the impression he 'cant be arsed'. You can criticise his temperament, his decision making and probably his football ability but his levels of effort are up there with anyone in the team.

I'd argue McGurn will be one of the smartest uses of our budget. He's as good a 3rd choice as we'll get and he takes on a part time coaching role.

I'd happily throw our budget at TxRover if he promised never to use americanisms ever again.

I didn't say we deserved to go up. I said I thought that model would be the most fair. Thanks for playing.

They don't. They might have been bottom of the league but in these circumstances no one deserves to go down. If the roles were reversed I'd dread to imagine what state our fanbase would be in. The most *fair model would have been allowing Kelty and Brora into the league and allowing for promotion and no relegation. (As said a million times) As amusing as it is watching fans of Hearts and Thistle go into complete meltdown over this, and watching Falkirk trying to beg themselves into the championship, seeing clubs go down, with a quarter of the games still to be played, is ridiculous. *i get this model would have still been unfair to Airdrie, Montrose, Bonnyrigg etc.

wow [emoji23]. It's a football transfer, calm down.

Apologies if it's been mentioned up the thread but McManus officially signed with Dunfermline today. Announcement should be Wednesday.

You'll be waiting a long time for a reply, or at least one worth reading.

Not surprised but still disappointed that there's no prospect of Bowie being loaned back for a season.

On one hand you want to do something different and on the other you're saying bright yellow, so far away from what we've done before, is boring. It's maybe boring in the sense that it's been around a while but when it was released it was ridiculously left field.

I've followed this thread for a while, and use it as a sort of motivation when I miss a few days and need that extra something to get me out. Got nominated for one of those NHS 5Ks when lockdown begun and I managed 3k before giving up. Felt heavy embarrassed so decided to stick at it. Over the next month or so I focused on just similar length runs, 5km-7km and found myself going from 7min per km to 5min30secs. Tackling a 10km seemed miles away (literally) but over the weeks I managed it and the buzz was something else. I've tried to divert towards cycling the last few weeks whilst still getting in some smaller runs. Today, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, I set out on a routine 5km and returned home 2hrs 10mins later having just completed a half marathon length run. Admittedly it was paced more so to how I was running when I first started but what a thrill, despite the pace. Something I couldn't ever imagine being able to manage. I shouldn't just highlight the positives. I've stagnated at times, I've went days without bothering and I've set out on occasion only to return 5 minutes later without much reason. I battled a bit of a foot injury early doors but that seems to have cleared and stayed away with the help of proper running shoes rather than a pair of gazelles. I don't think I'll return to that length anytime soon, but I think it'll give me a lot more determination to reduce my times on my standard 5-10km runs. Hope to post in this thread a bit more over time.