Richey Edwards

What is DEP? I am unfamiliar with your lingo. You could say I am a square compared to Perfect Circle.

There are annual festivals in Cumnock and Mauchline. I have never been.

DECE. RICH EDZ

It definitely is not about them winning if you leave, it's about you and your wife being able to feel relaxed and secure within your own home. Your neighbours will still be inconsiderate c***s whether you're living there or not so best to get yourself out of the current situation. Living in a constant state of stress isn't good for anyone.

There's nothing to be gained by staying in the current situation. Does she know how seriously this is affecting you?

They seemed to misunderstand what I meant and thought I was advocating jumping in front of trains. Just wanted to make it clear to any impressionable souls that I wasn't condoning the thoughts I was talking about. Was trying to give insight into my previous way of thinking. Saying that I shouldn't be on a football forum because of that is frankly ridiculous and those kind of attitudes kill a lot more people than talking about past suicidal ideas.

If you can I would suggest moving. It's shocking that your neighbours are causing such a negative effect on your lives but if nothing is being done by the relevant authorities then it may be worthwhile removing yourself from the environment that is causing you such problems. Your home should be somewhere you can relax and feel secure and I'm genuinely disgusted that these people are depriving you of this. Best of luck mate and feel free to give me a private mail if you want to talk.I also apologise for train-gate, the post was poorly worded on my part and the tone could be perceived as inappropriate and selfish. That was not my intention. I should have stated that the decision re: preferred method was taken when I was ill and now that I've recovered I in no way consider any method of suicide to be "better". For me taking my own life is completely out of the question because of the pain and trauma it would cause to other people and the fact I consider life to be precious. Suicide is a selfish act and I would urge everyone to never give up - there's no shame in reaching out for help. It does get better once you do.

I'm still being sure to take my pills every morning, I don't want to slide back the way. I still sometimes get thoughts of self-harming or the idea to throw myself in front of a train (I'd decided that being smashed into oblivion by a speeding train would be the preferred method - I've tried hanging and it was horrible). I'd dabbled in self-harming with cigarette lighters, spoons heated over a flame and razorblades but that's never been any big part of my depression. I find pain or blood repulsive, even the thought of a paper cut disgusts me. I've already been at the lowest depths of despair and the only way is up for me.

I doubt anyone will care but just to gauge the progress of recovery from my breakdown I currently feel happier than I have ever been. I have been back at work since just prior to New Year and am enjoying my work again. I also have a very loving and understanding girlfriend now and our time together has brought us both alot of happiness. I am still on my medication but I sometimes forget to take it. When you feel happier you don't exactly think to yourself "I better take my antidepressant" every morning.

Medieval Total War/Viking Invasion is one of my favourite games of all time. Rome Total War stuttered on my old computer but I enjoyed that too, I need to install it on the new computer now.

Back to work 30th I feel ready to go back, feeling good and positive and was beginning to get bored being off sick. If you're feeling down try to stay positive, it does get better. I'd have killed myself in November if it wasn't for me first missing my bus home by a minute and then the intervention of a kind stranger who found me in an alley. My mind was made up that I was going to hang myself, but today I am happy to be alive and looking forward to the future. Don't hesitate to send me a private mail if you ever need someone to talk to. If my experience can save even one person from going down the same road then I would consider what I've been through to have been worthwhile.

I'm still feeling good, going back to work after New Years Day.

I have felt alot happier since I've came to a couple of conclusions. They may be arse-achingly obvious and common sense but because I have been severely depressed for a long time they never occurred to me. 1. The only person who deserves your own love above anyone else is you. For me self-loathing was a massive factor in my depression but for the past day I've kept this in mind whenever the dark thoughts rear their ugly heads. 2. You can choose the people who are in your life. Those people in your life who have unreasonable expectations of you that you have no intention of fulfilling, who just make you feel down or who only talk to you when they need something? Tell them exactly where they stand and cut them out like the deadwood they are. Be ruthless with it and don't let them give you a guilt trip. I got shot of two people last night and I felt top of the world. 3. You are not responsible for other people's feelings. If anyone is upset or angered at you then it is only because they gave you that power. Conversely don't allow other people to decide your feelings. I was thinking about this last night and I'm not sure how well I've explained it, but that's probably the gist of it.

Do I detect a Pink Floyd reference?

I am currently signed off work with severe depression, and have suffered from it for a number of years but things came to a head about a month ago when I decided that I was going to end my own life. I'm still not sure whether I'm lucky or unlucky to have been found before I could do it. It's easy for people who have never experienced depression to belittle it as something you can just "snap out" of, but when you no longer enjoy or see any value in anything that is not possible and nothing positive makes sense to you.

Single mother statuses about other people who shouldn't be allowed to have kids.

Let The Old Dreams Die by John Ajvide Lindqvist - a collection of short stories by the author of Let The Right One In - 9/10 The short story of the same title is a sort of epilogue to LTROI but I was initially disappointed that it focussed on new characters and only briefly alluded to what became of Oskar and Eli (the central characters of LTROI). I did enjoy it though even if it wasn't what I expected it to be. I really enjoyed the continuation of Handling The Undead though, which was by far the longest of the stories.

Teenage lassies fighting World War 3 by having digs at each other in their statuses. Set up a square-go FFS.

I went through a phase of them being my favourite band, A Night at the Opera is still one of my favourite albums ever. Oh and Freddie is the best frontman ever, bar none.

The most annoying thing is the usual single mother whinging bullshit with responses from their other single mother buddies. "awwww shame chick xxxxxx" type responses and all.

I find that Limmy ranges from watchable to hilarious but he's miles better than the shite Scottish comedy that's on telly just now.

The Watch The Throne album by Jay-Z and Kanye West. I didn't think much of it when I first heard it which is surprising because I am a fan of both rappers. I only liked about four songs off it but am giving it another listen because my pal is adamant that it is shit-hot. Hopefully it's a grower eh?