"Actually guys, we need to be honest here. For decades, we have used the EU as a scapegoat for our own shortcomings and pretended that every failed policy was actually their fault. We moaned and groaned and talked about how much better life would be if we were out. We pressured David Cameron into holding a referendum, safe in the knowledge that only a total idiot would actually agree to it. Big mistake. Anyway, once that happened, we had to pretend we were all for it, even if we had never really thought it through. Anyway, what can we say? 17.4 million of you actually thought it was a good idea. Argh. So we had to play along. Well here is the long and the short of it. Bad idea, bad idea, really seriously bad idea. Sorry. Not going to happen. Let's move on."