People who say "Good Afternoon"/"Good Evening" when you start a shift should be given one of those new ISIS execution methods.
ETA: Also include the people who say "Oh! Must be me who's going on holiday then! Haw haw haw!"
It's cute to see you dig your own grave. Maybe your catchphrases were funny one time. But it's now repetitive, boring & predictable.
Just stop it. You aren't witty nor funny. Let go.