Cardinal Richelieu

Cheers for everyone setting me straight about the difference between terracing and a stand. Though why you "sit" in a "stand" is beyond me. However, I stand (chortle) beside my original point that firing a roof on Ibrox would be far too expensive to be worthwhile. Although this point was made about 20 pages ago and was of little interest to anyone then, let alone now - so I think I'll just let it go

Here's a picture taken from the main stand. What's that great big stand-like structure on the far side of the pitch?

I think it would take more than a bob's yer uncle to fire a roof on Ibrox. I was at Cliftonhill the other day, and one of their stands is condemned because it would cost £1m to put a new roof on it. ( mind you that was told to me by a jubilant Rovers fan so it might well have been a wind-up).

So if the CVA involves all creditors are to get say, 2p in the pound, then companies like Blooms UK (Glasgow) - who are owed £40 - will get precisely 80p That wouldn't even cover their bus fare to get to the meeting in the first place.

Tell that to my mate Lewis Harris.

1984. For about the 1984th time. Brilliant book. I don't even read much fiction but this is top drawer. And the bit at the end detailing Newspeak .... genius.

I "found" kinda makes it sound like you were searching for it! Agreed though, that sounds horrific. I'd stick to searching for fit birds. More creepy than annoying, but a good friend of mine who I worked with died just before Christmas. Yet somehow she still "liked" a status I fired up the other day.

I don't like Ally Carter, so I stuck the last £9.37 in my Betfair account on him to win. I'm set to win a tasty £38.38 if he wins, so COME ON CAPTAIN! Re: nicknames. I always thought that Anthony Hamilton's nickname was the Sheriff of Pottingham.

I can't believe this post is anything but a very clever piss-take from someone on P+B.

We are ALL Spartacus.

Chortle

Oh the irony. Have you tried asking Google?

Greenied solely for "shitgibbons". Consider your patter well and truly stolen.

Spot on "Smurph"

And blanking out the names doesn't do much good if you're just going to leave the links intact!

Chortle. I also like the half-arsed attempt to blank out Sara Hardy's and Austin Knill's names.

Little Brown Jug - Glenn Miller

Would.

Half Man Half Biscuit - Lord Hereford's Knob.

Mylo - In your Arms

My "friend" on Facebook is a stereotypical blue nose, his posts are usually concerned with imploring fellow bears to boycott the BBC, Daily Record, Lloyds TSB etc... His most recent post: was along the lines of: "We're not going to hide in the shadows. WE ARE THE PEOPLE. We don't walk away" To which one wag replied "Except when it comes to paying your taxes". All I did was like the comment. I then received an email informing me that he was going to batter me... I've not even seen the p***k since I was at primary school with him. What a tadger. Deleted

The only interesting thing that happened to me at school was our physics teacher. Camp as a row of tents, yet he still managed to be a dour b*****d. What we didn't know was that he had a part-time job as a TV presenter / newsreader on UTV (think a Northern Irish Jackie Bird).... of course, once he appeared on prime-time ITV, we all knew about it. Obviously, we were all quite awestruck that someone so boring and miserable did something so interesting. But the grumpy git never answered one of our questions, and never even acknowledged the fact that he was on the telly. What's more, he is the only teacher I've EVER had that made you work on the last day of term rather than just playing games Here he is in all his camp glory.

The only exam I failed at school was 1st year art. I'm no Rembrandt, but I did learn the trick of drying the brush between changing colours. Me and half the lads in the class were cheeky b*****ds. In the exam, we had to draw a picture of something, can't remember what. The pass mark for the exam was 45%.... all the bad lads but me received exactly 45% for their picture. My score? 44%. What a cow. How the hell can you even give a picture a score out of 100? And the teacher's name? Miss Fair

Three people I'm "friends" with have now posted messages along the lines of: Coincidentally, these are the three friends I would describe as being "wired to the moon".

Christ. Don't click on that link unless you want to become transfixed by the lower orders airing their dirty shellsuits in public. It's like an episode of Jeremy Kyle, but without Jeremy Kyle's calming and fair-minded influence.