Deen1903

Glass Masterclass or Glass Fallflatonass, who knows what we’ll get?

If the Dons lose to St Mirren tomorrow then the following scenario will unfold: The next home game is moved to a later kick-off to supposedly attract a larger US fanbase. As kick-off approaches the floodlights suddenly switch off. Suddenly, the WWF/WWE Undertaker intro music plays. DONG! A spotlight switches on and focuses on a figure coming onto the pitch - it’s Derek McInnes dressed as the Undertaker. The crowd can’t believe it, jaws drop and the pant pishers literally pish their punts. DONG! A second spotlight comes on and it’s Tony Docherty dressed as Paul Bearer also coming onto the pitch. DONG! A third spotlight, this time on the centre circle and it’s Stephen Glass looking shocked and confused. He considers running away but it’s too late - the Undertaker has reached him and got him in a choke hold. The crowd gasps. DONG! The fourth spotlight is on the Directors’ Box and Dave Cormack is there, cackling away, he’s loving it! The crowd gasps again as the truth dawns on them. DONG! All the floodlights come on as the Undertaker tombstones Stephen Glass. Scott Brown tries to run away but Paul Bearer trips him up and the Undertaker tombstones him too. Then Paul Bearer follows up by smacking Brown on the head with a steel chair conveniently placed on the pitch. The crowd goes wild, the comfort of a no worse than a fourth place finish is back and they know that the Glass experiment was simply Cormack getting the fans to fall in love with McInnes and Docherty again with a touch of American sports entertainment razzmatazz. It’s showtime baby! Now to grind out a 1-0 . . .

Teddy Jenks seems the least likely of the new Dons players to have his own song but I like a challenge: Woah, woah, Teddy Jenks is here He’s as fast as Niall McGinn Or traffic at the Haudagain Woah, woah, Teddy Jenks is here He came to conquer Paramount And visit Mounthooly roundabout

Looking forward to a 5,000 word essay from Budge on the exciting plans for next season

Bring real Irn-Bru home

Has bam died out in Aberdeen? And bamwagon for a souped up Fiat Cinquecento pumping out dance music while Bouley bashing

Will you trap my mate?

The Gordon Bennett Ladies Lounge

Stadium names: Anderson Arena or The Cadger Camp

Dr Frankeninnes and his jotters saving monster

Losing to a team from Transylvania?

Reject all offers below £7m and send him on loan to Peterheid for the season (to work on the trawlers). Sends a message to Ferguson and Cosgrove.

Also, easier for Aberdeen to attract corporate sponsorship as zero local competition from other professional teams and being a one club city means that there’s no risk of a corporate annoying clients who might support a rival local team. Instead, it’s seen as helping civic pride - see Abtrust, latterly Aberdeen Asset Management, effectively helping bail out the Dons in the 1990s as a sort of civic responsibility.

Agreed - AFC seem to have more corporate hospitality and funcy seats etc than anyone outside the cheeks and it makes a big difference to the club’s budget. Aberdeen only has one professional sports team whereas Edinburgh has four (if you include Edinburgh Rugby and the Scottish Rugby team being based at Murrayfield) so a lot of the corporate hospitality in Edinburgh is hoovered up by the SRU but Aberdeen (and Glasgow) don’t have this and the Edinburgh middle classes and business types tend to be more into rugby and golf in any case. The Aberdeen equivalent prefer football and golf - the Aberdeen big-wigs are members of Royal Aberdeen Golf Club and the 50 club at Pittodrie and the Edinburgh big-wigs will be Muirfield and a Murrayfield debenture.

Nasal whine 1 - Doric drone 1

The curse of Gauld strikes again - Ryan Gauld moves to a club and chaos ensues. Not the poor lad’s fault but McNamara must have put a hex on him.

Tommy Wright, with Stevie May and Joe Shaughnessy signing. Dons to switch from using Caley Thistle as a feeder club to St Johnstone instead.

The sheep are having a party and the **** are going bust/crying/getting pumped in Europa League qualifying round 1 by some Belarusian bricklayers/still not getting over their beating at the 2015 Scottish Cup Final.

Will Warbs get sacked in the next few weeks or will they wait until the summer?

As others have said, worth it for winding up the **** who'll think their boneheaded Abergreen theory has been proven right. Hail hail!

Excellent in the sense that it's very well written and makes a strong case that something is lost from all of Scottish football if/when a famous historic stadium like Pittodrie is turned into flats. While I guess it is almost certainly too expensive to stay at Pittodrie I don't think the club has made it perfectly clear why we can't stay there and I wish they would publish something more substantial on this as it would help win over fans who are unsure. The current main reason given is that we should have our training ground next to our stadium as this is 'modern' - bizarre! For what it's worth I think Kingsford is much better than Loirston for location reasons but the downgrade in architects and cost savings they have made in the current plans for the stadium give cause for concern. Build it on the cheap and we'll regret it for the next 50 years. Pittodrie was an innovative stadium at certain points in its history (dug outs, floodlights, all seater) - the new one is a bland replica of (utter no-marks) Bristol City's new stadium. This is a huge long term decision and the club needs to get it right and have as many fans in support as possible. Fingers crossed!

Excellent article in the Scotsman about Pittodrie - in short, don't underestimate the power of nostalgia for football fans. I would add that the specific location of Hibs and Hearts in Leith and Gorgie respectively is more important than the Beach is for Aberdeen as a one club city though - as all of Aberdeen is arguably a 'traditional' Aberdeen-supporting area and Aberdeenshire supplies a lot of Aberdeen fans as well. Only 55% of season ticket holders live in Aberdeen City according to the planning application for the new stadium. ‪ http://www.scotsman.com/sport/football/aidan-smith-what-s-not-to-like-about-pittodrie-1-4345109‬

Consi is a model pro, which is why the legion of Aberdeen managers that have come and gone in his time have kept him. He's hugely improved under McInnes and is a good centre back and a good left back. However, he's gaffe prone and has a horrendous first touch. Personally, I'd have him at centre back with O'Connor for the rest of the season and sign him up for another year or two as a second or third choice centre back if we can strengthen over the summer. Given the wonders Tommy Wright has worked with Shaughnessy, if Considine went to St Johnstone he'd be absolutely immense. Hartley wouldn't improve him but he'd still be great for Dundee or Hibs. Can't imagine him playing for the Orcs. Most importantly, he's a local loon and his dad played for the Dons. Important to keep a local identity with some North-East players and avoid becoming a generic Weegie and bargain basement English squad like many other teams. Consi must stay!

There's a (small but not tiny) chance of Aberdeen playing in the Europa League group stage - more chance of this than of Cardiff getting promoted and Hayes then getting EPL game time. So the highest club level Hayes can realistically play is Europa League group stages and his best chance of this is at Aberdeen. Only option that might better this would be Celtic but he's too old for them. McInnes kens the score and Hayes will stay barring a seven figure bid.