Jimmy Shaker

My names not James. And I was right, East Kilbride were shit.

Full time... Cove Rangers 3-0 East Kilbride Cove win 5-1 on aggregate Cove were professional and saw it out nicely. East Kilbride had nothing. How did that win a league.

East Kilbride are shit

Practice? Haway, that was a standard grade in Aberdeen in the 90’s.

If you’re going today, wear a coat.

Who is this mysterious wealthy benefactor at Cove?

The clubs will go where the money is. Would Brora be better off in a league that involves Cove, Formartine, Loco and which might require a trip to Dundee (instead of Fraserburgh), or in a league where they play Clach, Nairn, Golspie, Tain and Alness?

None. Well, maybe Locos. But that would be it.

As mentioned, the SHFL isn’t closed to new applications. It’s existed with all number of teams and going to 19 isn’t likely to be an issue as the limit is 20 before reorganisation into two 10’s/whatever. Banks O’Dee have spent the ten years since being told to GTF doing up their ground and walking their own path, and have made a fine job of it. They’re not interested in applying, though. Maybe they will be if Cove escape, but they don’t seem interested. Talk of the SHFL making them an offer – an offer of what? We’ll boot out Fort so we can take them in? We’ll cast off three or four teams so BOD can continue to play in the dozen or so cups they play in/need to defend AND manage a senior season? That’s not happening. How about they stick an application in and see what occurs? What are they waiting for? BOD’s inaction since the last election means they’re either not serious about joining – north juniors is fucked and there’s no reason for them to remain in it, other than the easy medals – or they just don’t want to. BOD haven’t been continually rebuffed – they asked once, they were knocked back once. Yes, the reasons for doing so were bullshit, but that was ten years ago and they’re in a better position now while the SHFL has gotten weaker, so why not ask again? They are, however, the only side good to go in terms of stepping up. Tain, Burghead, Aberdeen Uni, Stonehaven; folk are just picking names at random here. Halkirk have no chance. It’s BOD or nothing for the time being. Ten years ago Culter and Sunnybank were giving BOD a go, but they’ve fallen away. Maybe the SFA will take note and order us to reorganise ourselves, or do what was threatened previously – ignore us, start their own Highland/northern league as they did with the Lowland, and invite applications. Only problem with that is, every SHFL club will apply, despite the disdain of some towards promotion. Bolting the juniors or NCL below the 18 teams in the SHFL should have been a piece of piss, arguably easier than the reorganising in the East or West, but nothing’s been done, suggesting it’s not just the SHFL who aren’t interested in this. Maybe cutting us loose would do us a favour in the immediacy. You can bet your last farthing that, for all the moaning about promotion and Midweek Trips To Berwick Always Played In The Rain, should the SFA open up a new league and invite applications EVERY single team in the SHFL would apply. The SHFL desperately needs a boot in the arse. It produces great games of a season, and has rivalries that date back almost to the very beginning of organised football. But it’s not promoted, it’s not looked after, it’s not enhanced by the people who run it. We’ve unsponsored competitions, minimal press interest, dwindling crowds due to the one-sided top bit of the table. There’s no real organisation that fans can see, we just bumble along, as has been mentioned. We don’t even have the top sides in agreement that promotion is a good thing – the attitude of Buckie and Brora to it all sucked the life out of things and made us look extremely parochial and small time, and we’ve failed to recover from that. Cove are the exception, who have A – never really been at home in this league, and B – realised they’re wasting their time in it. If all this had happened ten years ahead of time, early 2000’s, I reckon we could have made something of it. Locos could easily have taken on promotion along with Cove. I think we’d no repeat champions in the space of 8 or 9 years as the title was always heartily contested by half a dozen teams. Now, until Cove piss off, everyone’s keeping their powder dry until the playing field levels out. Dunno where we go from here, TBH.

There's a car park at the ground but if you're having to ask if you can get in, you're not the type who'll be getting in. IKEA, Makro, Burger King have spaces but I've no idea if they're wardened/patrolled/whatever. If you're parking at that end of the estate, you might as well play safe and use the streets in the houses the other side of the road and enjoy the walk. There's a few company car parks on the way to the ground but availability is random. In short, get there early, drive to the ground then work your way back.

Culter might have been interested when they’d money and were top banana in the juniors. Now there’s only Banks O’Dee worth considering from that area. Re Burghead - are folk just sticking a pin the a map and picking the closest team as a suggestion?

Just because they are, or are not far off, doesn’t mean they want senior football. What’s this desperation to get Halkirk in? No c**t lives up there. Wick have enough problems with recruitment at times as it is.

Yeah. Why not?

There's actually two open spots already, with the league happy to bumble along with up to 20 teams before giving further consideration to two leagues. BOD won't want to join while Cove are still here, as they'll not win owt. Everyone's waiting for the first event in north football that'll set in motion the kind of changes seen elsewhere, but no one here seems too interested in doing anything differently.

The SHFL is always open to applications, AFAIK. It's run with 15 teams in my time and the plethora of winter postponements means no one really notices for most of the season as half the league will occasionally sit idle on any February weekend.

The Highland League has operated with anything from 6 to 18 teams in its history, an odd number again isn't a problem. Given the fact we won't know who'll be taking part til May 18th - usually about a week from the fixtures coming out - means we're probably a bit short on time for getting anyone in. The idea there might be a plan for the league heading into the 2020/21 season is hilarious tho.

The question about who’ll play in which league come the end of this will be repeated aplenty in the coming weeks. Probably accompanied by faux-journo puff pieces asking if Cove or East Kilbride can step up to senior football.

Buckie fans acting the goat? Surely not.

Radio Five at least read out the score in the classified results. Have to fancy Cove going into a 90 minute tie with a goal advantage.

The Betamax Video Club and How Did This Get Made. The same post-film discussion kind of thing, only ones hosted by an Englishman and the other by a trio of screeching Americans. Both good fun tho.

If the Highland League wasn’t part of the senior ranks when Elgin were in it, I’m interested to know what it was.

Been a hell of a time since Elgin weren’t in the senior ranks.

Cove's inability to beat Cowdenbeath - to even score in that first leg - will forever remain a mystery to me. When Cove went ahead in the second leg, I was sure that was it, but they threw it away. Whether they've learned anything from their Edinburgh City/Spartans/Cowdenbeath ties, we shall see. Would imagine the first leg of this tie will be close, and not produce the 0-3/4-0 kind of result seen in recent times. Cove haven't given anyone of note a good going over in a while, but they're also not conceding many.

Who’s Cove’s sugar daddy?

Cove ain’t winning nothing if they play like they did yesterday. As bad I’ve seen them in three years.