coprolite
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Posts posted by coprolite
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dried beans0 -
i walked to the station with my waterproof trews on this morning.
I was quite windy following last nights home made onion gravy washed down with mcewans champion and old peculiar.
It turns out that plastic trousers not only do a splendid job of keeping rain out, but they also retain and concentrate flatulence.
I was a smelly c''t on a train.
I apologise to anyone who was affected by the issues raised in this post.3 -
hand dryers where the motion sensor is pointed 4 inches from the hot air, and the motor only stays on 2 seconds.
i used my trousers.0 -
Can't agree with this.
With the players at his disposal and where the club was at that time Smith should have had Aberdeen seriously challenging every season. That run of 12 wins from 13 that propelled us to the Ibrox decider was despite Smith rather than because of him IMO. His cowardice in the title decider, opting for 4-4-2 when 4-3-3 had got us into that position, defined him.
That decider is an absolute watershed to me. Sliding Doors moment.
20 years of shite followed.2 -
just flushed the train toilet in the station.
only no 1, nobody died.0 -
I passed someone's bin yesterday on to which they had painted a poppy.
Lest we forget....what days the bins go out on
Utter khunts failed to collect my food bin. Fortunately the council here has committed to collect missed food bins within 5 working days. So it won't be sitting out on the pavement for a week.
I also forgot to buy a poppy. Since a former associate of mine joined the marines to "shoot sand ni$$ers" I have doubted the whole "they died for us" angle. Conscription was a long time ago and the last truly just war ended 72 years ago.0 -
can any string theorists please confirm my understanding that from tbe perspective
of the 5th dimension, and as predicted by general relativity, that the earth is topographically flat?
People who dispute this in terms of Euclidean geometry are clearly simpletons.0 -
can any string theorists please confirm my understanding that from tbe perspective
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She buys brown bread rather than white.
Brown bread is shite. It tastes shite and it looks shite.
it helps you shite too.
i bet you're constipated.0 -
There is, clearly, a correct way to stack the dishwasher.
in response to your other point it's not dirty cos it's just been washed. hence the need to dry it.
sink users of the world unite. death to tbe bourgoise dishwasher users.0 -
It's only a small thing, but she puts the cutlery in the drying basket the wrong way up.
Can any lawyers advise whether this is grounds for divorce?0 -
Roon ye's.
It's still glorious sun and 30°C here in 92128.
is that the big one i hear in the background?
Die you lizard scum!0 -
Yep evaporation says Ron
I had the exact same issue with my cable account.0 -
Tell Brendan. It's his excuse.
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http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/gwentnews/15675161.This_Newport_man_has_a_room_filled_with_4_000_mini_bottles_of_booze/
any scientists confirm if the wife's explanation stacks up, or is someone at it?0 -
I've always been lucky enough to avoid the flu. I'm just spewing up near constantly, feel nauseous when I stand up and my body aches. Hardly slept last night but sleepy and fuzzy feeling so when I close my eyes I'm having these creepy awake dreams.
that's cold turkey. you need smack.0 -
This is definitely a hoax. I expect a movie or some such soon from the folk that did one about made up celeb stories.
there might be one or two raging simpletons who buy it but they are mostly having a laugh.0 -
Why on earth is the USA and no doubt UK arming isil? Can anyone answer that? Why are journalists not screaming this question at our politicians every day? Where are all the investigative reporters? Why is this not being asked in parliament?
It's because it is politically expedient for us to be seen to be doing something but electoral suicide to send lots of troops.
War by proxy and remote control is the only viable option.
We don't have a clue what is actually going on so just pick a team to back at random until it becomes public that they are also the baddies. And repeat.
What's everybody's predictions for a square go between ISIS and the Taliban?0 -
Her: “So When are you moving in?”
Me: “I think it’s a bit soon to be discussing moving in together, don’t want to rush it either. I feel we should talk about it within the next 6 months.”
Her: “aw it’s Just I’ve been looking at bigger flats and joint bank accounts and I can learn to drive your car..”
Every. Fucking. Night.
Succubus.
Get out while you still can.1 -
This is a hoax right?
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And his new flats will be cheap......
Probably built from reclaimed bricks from the Richard Donald stand if he gets to demolish it
Correct.
I hear the youth team will be unpaid labourers as part of their "apprenticeship"0 -
Aye that's what I'm looking for; recipes that make a decent meal out of basic ingredients.
How long has red wine vinegar been a basic ingredient for?
The vinegar hierarchy is:
basic- non-brewed condiment
fancy-malt
pretentious- the rest
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After a lazy weekend of cultivating my trampy stubble beard I went to have my 4 30 am shave to find that the wife had used and binned my last razor.
£3.38 at a tesco metro for 4 razors! racketeering b*****ds.0 -
Paul was a Jew according to the Bible. I guess it depends on whether you would define a Jew who grew up in a Greek city as "Greek."
Greek Jew
Jewish Greek
can be both?0
C**** on a Train
in The General Nonsense Forum
Posted
There is a c**t on the next table (which was my table) doing big snottery snorty sniffs every 30 secs then letting out a sigh like he just came.
I may try tutting in a minute.