Steve_Wilkos

Hi all. New season. New players. New chants. FAO Top Reds attending this match, let's just try to get this one going pre-match to give the reds a lift! Thank you in advance to the Livi tannoy for playing The Smiths' original 3 mins before the teams emerge. [Top Reds behind the goal (TRBG)] Terrible football pitch [Top Reds on touchline (TRoT)] In Livi, it's desolate [TRBG] When in this charming car [TRoT] This charming Slobodan [TRBG] Why dampen Top Reds' expectancy [TRoT] When Clarkson runs smooth in his football cleats [Both ends including Livi fans if they want to] We would lose this match tonight But now we've got Ester Sokler Big Slobadan, is gruesome But if he keeps clean sheets then we don't care AH! A jumped up country Duk, Who feels at home in this place, We said "return of the king" We stole your captain - Nicky Devlin We stole your captain - Nicky Devlin [Livi tannoy then blasts "Lose Yourself" by Eminem as the teams emerge and all four stands bounce in unison]

Still water for the table Crusty baguette slices with real butter for the table Starter: calamari with tartare sauce, white wine to drink Main: Rare (close to blue) fillet steak, accompanied with chips, fried mushrooms, garden peas, broccoli, and English mustard, red wine to drink Dessert: New York cheesecake with vanilla ice cream, pint of Guinness and Talisker chaser to drink

Is that a pint of Neck Oil? If so, you totally neutralised the superbness of the burger. Shame.

"Weegie" does not require the letter "d" and this is an irrefutable fact.

There is a lass at our work who started fairly recently - she is the one I previously alluded to who does not shut up about her kids. She joined our daily team Teams call while she was in the hospital the other week. It was one of the most awkward five minutes of my life, I had to look down at my notepad and pretend to write.

Why are commentators obsessed with Maggots and Becketts?

I often find myself muttering players' nicknames under my breath while watching on RedTV. For example, "Come on, Hayezo lad."

'Stormzy' tried his shtick on AFC-Chat for a while. He truly is one of life's biggest losers.

She even called it the "Captain Tom Building". You have to respect the grift. If you're going to do it, be 100% shameless.

The Long Good Friday - 7/10

Jake Humphrey and Steven Bartlett. #HighPerformance #BeLikeBartlett

Titanic II? More like, Bye-tanic 7.

With or without a Clubcard?

Sunderland man jailed for performing sex act while kneeling over captured seagull David Lee, 40, told police that he believed the seagull was hurt and that he was searching for a vet's number. However, a police investigation revealed he was watching pornography during the incident. Sky News story here.

One regular day of Scotland ViaPlay. That's all I ask for. Will never happen.

Big Cormack is objectively hilarious. The hair, the accent, the mannerisms - I love the man with every fibre of my being.

Well done, Brian.