Raith Against The Machine

If certain transfers haven't been explained clearly enough, I think the thing to do would be to explain them.

Tends to be at least noon before the online FFP articles go up.

They'll probably all bring goalkeepers too, the show offs.

He must be the world's only noir football agent. "Sparkes gazed out from behind his desk, surveying the figure who'd stooped through the door of his office. Sparkes had never seen him before. He was a big man, but no bigger than a beer truck. He wore saran-wrapped jeans and a camouflage bomber jacket the colour of Mikhail Gorbachev's forehead. "Have you ever heard of Kirkcaldy, Pavel?", Sparkes purred, a glint in his eye. Taken aback, the Slovak instinctively felt for the passport wedged into his back pocket. It'd be the last time."

Lasswade Primary School? Because if so...

Eric Drysdale breaks his silence.

I'd rather have boll cancer

If Campbell has been allowed to darken the door at Stark's Park then the entire club should just be thrown into the sea.

It's fine though, I'm sure the board will do it's due diligence and speak to Dick Campbell's pals to find out if he's any use.

I'd rather we appointed an actual penis, and a really camp bell.

If John McGlynn is a dinosaur then Dick Campbell is a stale crouton floating limply in the primordial soup. Ridiculous notion that he be involved in full time football in 2017.

If Raith Rovers appoint Dick Campbell I'll fucking kill myself.

Might even get the bedsheets out.

Don't worry, it's not just you. M'Voto has been repeatedly compared to Marvin Andrews by Rovers supporters, with the justification that he's dominant in the air but not great on the ground. Haven't heard anyone compare him to Mark Campbell, though. Of course, the GOAT occurence is still this one.

*black player* could be another *black player*

I imagine we're about to see a lot of revisionism in relation to M'Voto, but he was one of the bright spots for vast spells of this season. When we couldn't score goals for months on end, he was the primary reason we didn't ship a thousand too. What we've found out, however, is that he's certainly not a big game player. Critical errors against Hibs, St Mirren and in both games against Brechin basically put us down. It's a shame his spell here ended this way, and in particular with his new destination, but that's the kind of embarrassing shit that happens when your entire organisation implodes and you get relegated into a part-time league.

I'm looking forward to the forthcoming proof of someone else's text messages, and "a whisper".

Ayr Utd are also going to be operating a full-time squad next season. Should make for some interesting recruitment.

I don't think there's anything in the direct quotes to suggest he wants away right now, although the author of the article does suggest that. That said, if Vaughan does decide he wants to leave, he just needs to ring into pre-season with the flu.

I'd forgotten about this. In any other season, that'd be in the top three most farcical things to have happened. This year? Not in the top hundred.

He's helping relegate Caley Thistle.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? There's nobody else from the SPFL here, you must be talkin' to me."

I could be wrong, but I don't think there was a single "mea culpa" in there. I don't know if Bill Leckie has an ear to the boardroom wall, but the feeling certainly seems to be that the board feel much more favourably towards Gary Locke than they do John Hughes. Gary Locke must be the nicest guy in the fucking world - the attitude seems to be "if only we'd done X or Y" then he might've been a success. Well, no, it's his job to handle things like recruitment - your job was to hire someone who wasn't utterly incompetent.

Not much to inspire there. The future of the club is in the youth system, but if any of those youth players ever decide they want to play for someone else then we'll let them go for a sack of bibs and a Mitre 5.

Literally setting that precedent, quite openly. Anyone who doesn't want to play for the club can essentially walk out for nothing. Brilliant.