Raith Against The Machine

There is nothing I hate more than when a TV show keeps the same character with a different actor, after the original has fucked off somewhere else. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

Oh, of course! Thank you, Fudgester.

This may be difficult to explain, but... In the UK, when a team scores, there's obviously the roar of the crowd. You can make out the first "syllable" of the roar, if you like, which is "Ye-", clearly from everyone shouting "YES!" Now, in Spain, it's not "Si!" or even "Goal" that seem to be the root of the roar, but rather an "Oa-" or similar. Does anyone know why? When they score, do they all just go "ohhhhhhhhhhhh!"? It's one of these things that's been on my mind for a while...

Let's face it - it's no Dodge Viper. It is a bit of a girly car. If it's all you can afford, though, then woman's car > no car.

I'm not even 20.

I can't get my head around the fact that it's 2010, and that's 10 years after the year 2000. If someone asked me how long ago 1980 was, my initial instinct would be "20 years". I don't know why...

I've just read a post in the Gaming Forum from someone who was "too young for the original Pokemon games". I think, for the first time ever, I feel old.

I've been playing Yellow on an emulator this last week. Just started Crystal tonight, but I don't think I've ever played it before. What's the deal with it? Is it like a cross between Gold and Silver, or what?

I was in Frankenstein's in Edinburgh earlier. By christ, that's fucking expensive. £3.95 for a pint of Bulmer's. £3.05 for a single Morgan's, without a mixer. Also, if someone asks for a single malt, don't just point at Jack Daniel's and go "Uh?"

I was lying around for hours last night wondering why I was feeling so ill, and what could possibly be wrong. It wasn't until about 2am I realised that I was actually just really hungry. I'm not what you'd call a "clever person".

It won't! 5 blades? 6 blades!? SEVEN BLADES!? It's madness! Madness, I tells ya! Ludicrous, so it is! It won't end until the world does! But that's coming! It's coming! The end! THE END! Or it's just razors. Whatevs.

Ric?

My car hates me. It's like Herbie, but vindictive rather than jovial and good at racing. I was at Glasgow Airport yesterday picking someone up, and just as I got to the wee ticket barriers, my window wouldn't go down. Odd, thinks I, but the passenger window hasn't worked for ages so I wasn't too bothered, but then once I was inside I pressed the button and it went down. Must've just pressed the wrong button or something the first time, I suppose. But then it comes to driving back out again, and I have to put the ticket back into the machine. Again, the bloody window won't go down! As soon as I'd cleared the barrier (after first getting out of the fucking car to use the machine), I pressed the button again and the window, predictably, worked perfectly.

I just had a shave for the first time in a wee while, and I'm sad to see the back of the first thing I've ever had that came close to a beard I had brilliant fun with a moustache for a while, though.

I don't like Sportscene.

Dougie Donnelly on Sportscene isn't much better, "I suppose it's been about 5 years since Dundee Utd got this far in the cup, really." Really, Dougie? You suppose? No you fucking don't you weird looking arsehile. Also, while we're at it... Billy Dodds: "Aberdeen have been really inconsistent, but I suppose you can put that down to the number of young players in the squad. Dougie Donnelly: "Ian, Billy does make a good point, Aberdeen have some really good young players that they've managed to get tied down on longer contracts." What? You're not even fucking listening, are you? You're tripping off your tits, Doogly, you'll be telling us that it's over to Jim Spence next for the results of tomorrow's game between the Magic Eye poster in your bedroom and the monster that's eating your shoes.

I've just been watching Kirk Broadfoot at this St Mirren game on the telly. It sickens me that he gets paid as much as he does to wait for Bougherra to get the ball, then receive the pass, give it straight back to Bougherra then jog behind the nearest St Mirren player so he's no longer an option.

Thanks very much, it's much appreciated.

So can I get in/out of the car park without paying anything? For example, there's a bloke coming with me in the car - can I drop him off somewhere so he goes into the terminal, and then I wait in the car for the two of them to come out, without being charged? I don't mind having to slowly creep round a car park to avoid wardens or anything... Apologies for the stupidity/basicness of these questions, but it's ages since I've even been to any airport, let alone Glasgow!

On Sunday, I'm picking someone up at Glasgow Airport at about 6pm, and I've never even so much as been to Glasgow Airport before, so a few things: What's the parking like, if I want to just park up and then go into the terminal to meet my pal off her plane? How much does it cost, how far away etc? If I'm going from Stirling, roughly what time am I going to have to leave? Google Maps is telling me that it'll take 52 minutes, but I honestly don't have a clue what the traffic is like on the M8 at that time on a Sunday. So, yeah, cheers for any help

It's not a sneeze if it's coming out of your cock.

I think it was just up to the teams, they didn't have to use their squad numbers, but they could if they wanted to.

If you take a route home from the gym that happens to swing past a bakery, you'll get a "Lynx Effect" moment, only with less Lynx and more chins.

One day when I was in 3rd Year Physics, I was looking out the window (as usual) and saw a seagull eat a rabbit in exactly the same way the dinosaur eats the bloke in the toilet in Jurassic Park, complete with the tossing back of the head to gulp down a big ol' chunk of Peter Rabbit. It was bad ass.

I've been having nightmares recently too. Not the kind where you wake up screaming, just particularly bad dreams. One I was driving in the car with my Dad and the road disintegrated into just two long thin planks just wide enough for the tires to sit on so that the car was going along right on the balance. My old man just turned and to me and said "This is it." as the car careered over the edge and into the abyss. The abyss, by the way, was next to a big Asda. The other one I can remember at the moment, I was at some sort of stereotypical private school, and the teacher was the bloke from Glee (hello, Psychiatrist) Anyway, I was sat at a big long table at lunch, and I couldn't find my knife. As it turns out, my knife was hidden in my soup. Now, in hindsight, I don't know why I was looking for a knife, if all I had was soup, but that's not really important. I noticed that there was heavy smoke going past the window, and evidently the floor below us was on fire. As I ran for the door, I was pulled back, and ordered to "Get into the bin.", which was one of those big orange things you see in alleyways. Everyone started chanting "Get in the bin!" and I can't remember the rest so presumably either the floor gave way, or I got in the bin.