Anybody who says Rich Tea are bollocks rather than the dog's bollocks are misunderstanding their true talent. In the same way that dry toast wouldn't titivate the taste buds, you need to add some topping to Rich Tea to truly appreciate them. A light skim of butter by way of a glue to hold a couple of slices of cheddar in place is a true feast of an evening.
That said, replace the Rich Tea with a digestive and you've moved to the next level.