parxyz

ADONBILIVIT

What's everyone getting from their guaranteed PL TOTS pack tonight then. I for one am absolutely buzzing for the shiny new James Maddison that I shall be welcoming to the club.

Yep, would probably argue that may have been the most embarrassing/humiliating/joke of a season in the club's history. Just happy we won the league the following year though, which is more than can be said for Rovers. I'll shut up though cause we got our arsed handed to us by them in January, so they can't be THAT bad. Think they've had sufficient suffering now so would like to see them back up. Falkirk on the other hand, well, it's only just the beginning [emoji846] Was absolutely gash for us, was surprised to see him doing so well at EF. Was part of the 14/15 squad for us I believe, so tells you all you need to know.

Don't know much about Docherty but Kirkpatrick should bring a bit of energy to the side. The merry-go-round of players at this level is sometimes absolutely staggering.

James Craigen not re-signing with the Pars at the end of his current contract, to end on 31st May.

Craigen to leave at end of contract. https://dafc.co.uk/story.php?t=Player_Update_20/05/2019&ID=11241

Went along to this tonight and sat in the away end. Poor choice. Thought Inverness played superbly in the first half, particularly from corners they looked a real threat. Walsh and White looked very dangerous. When the penalty came, players were blocking my view but originally thought it was a penalty, hadn’t realised the deflection. Cue meltdown from Caley in second half, as the game went on they seemed to be more wasteful with possession and their attempts on goal were poor (perhaps something to do with the scheduling). United controlled the game from there on in and had multiple glaring opportunities to score. Personal highlight though was seeing Nicky miss an absolute sitter by hitting the right post, before missing an even worse opportunity by hitting the left. A good game for the neutral but left wishing I’d just watched it on the telly.

Williamson gone to Thistle. Strange one.

Forfar have announced a friendly against us, Saturday 29th June 2pm, Station Park. No word of it yet on any of our socials though.

Ryan Dow signs for Pars on a 1 year contract

C**ts who can't find their seat. Often take the form of groups of 8-10 well-rounded, cackling, Sarah Millican-esque women drinking Lambrini or the like, clearly Newcastle-bound for one of the group's hen party. This weekend saw my third interaction with this type. Was on a train going south from Dundee to Inverkeithing on Friday, and the group joined he train at the same time as me. But by the time we'd crossed the Tay Bridge, these bints still couldn't fucking find their seat, too busy screeching away about their impending mid-life crises. This type will also often: - Have massive a fuckoff suitcase each, and will often somehow be surprised to see the luggage racks full. This will only prolong the 'sitting down' process. - Make sure EVERYONE can hear them. (yep, not even headphones can save you here). - Adopt a horrendously painful accent/dialect. (This was Dundonian but it's been Geordie before).

Anyone know whether PATG will be available for away fans on Friday night? In Dundee and desperate to see some football, but couldn't bring myself to sit in the home end, and will be supporting the Caley Jags. Enjoy your final United.

Not sure about that red card for Sunderland. Be an interesting 20 mins now. Pompey just hit bar.

For students in Dundee compared to places like Edinburgh and Glasgow, the rent tends to be incredibly cheaper. However, there is obviously less properties, so you need to get sorted well in advance. Or you risk resorting to somewhere like Perth or Arbroath *shudder*

Ooft, shows how much I know. Didn't see their assists anywhere. You should be thanking me for including three of your players before a big play-off though, you were stick on to go through from there.

Fook, didn’t realise Muirhead was with Falkirk at the start of the season, my bad.

Similar to the idea of the PFA Team of the Season, I set you all the challenge of coming up with the biggest starting XI of absolute jobbers we've seen this season. Rules: No more from 4 players per club (would be too easy to pick the full Falkirk team). Has to have made at least 5 appearances in the league this season. GK: Alan Martin (QOTS) Hasn't exactly been the most reliable keeper for Queen's this season, and was spectacularly banned and fined after giving his own fans an 'unsavoury gesture'. DC: Danny Devine (Dunfermline) Actual f**k knows why we signed this boy on a 2 year contract. Limited footballing ability, and it's a shame to say I could have picked out our other 2 CBs for this spot. Stuck with him for next season though. DC: William Edjenguele (Falkirk) The 'Edge' appeared a half-reliable no-nonsense CB when he first signed for Falkirk, but he can't escape this team. Knocking himself out by head butting his teammate and letting Morton score, essentially consigning Falkirk to their impending doom is my absolute highlight of this season. DC: Aaron Muirhead (Ayr) Was looking to include someone from Ayr to account for their mid-season collapse and it's easiest to pick Muirhead, as he joined in January. Once again, a limited player, who isn't exactly the reliable centre back he once was. (Nothing to do with Falkirk, honest) MR: Fraser Aird (Dundee Utd/QOTS) After impressing with Dunfermline the season prior, everyone's favourite *** made the move to Dundee Utd, where he failed to impress. He was later offloaded to Queens on loan, where he has continued his poor run of form. Think he will improve under the right management however. MC: Paul Paton (Falkirk) Falkirk's midfield has been their main let down this season, and Paton epitomises this season for them. Slow, bulky, limited. He again was once a decent player at this level but a drop down the leagues beckons for him imo. MC: Abdul Osman (Falkirk) #itsnoteasy MR: Kallum Higginbotham (Dunfermline) On his day he could light up EEP but sadly not seen one of those games from Higgy for the best part of two seasons. He's been incredibly poor this season, but similar to Aird, under the right management he could thrive in League 1. FC: Lyndon Dykes (QOTS) An ever present in the queens side this season, and has somehow secured a move to Livi. He's been incredibly poor whenever I have seen him, and has 2 goals in 36 appearances. Queens were forced to rely upon him after Dobbie's injury, but he didn't appear and they since slipped down into 9th. FC: Robbie Muirhead (Dunfermline) Dunfermline paid money for this man at the start of the season, and in 12 appearances he has 0 goals. An absolute donkey up front, and his transfer fee has contributed to Dunfermline's new financial woes. FC: Dennon Lewis (Falkirk) Perhaps the biggest jobber of the lot. Confronting his own fans on twitter, and allegedly receiving racial abuse from his own fans in return. Also, 16 games with no goals. The kind of player that sums up Falkirk's recruitment over the past two seasons. Manager: Ray McKinnon (Falkirk) Needs no explanation. Snake b*****d. Got what he deserved. Cheerio. My knowledge of the league is pretty poor so just going off what I've seen and read. Sure you can all do a better job [emoji106]

Another point that hasn't been made; where the feck are the colt teams gonna play their matches? One option is that they rent grounds from Airdrie, Morton and the like, but it will be a scheduling nightmare, particularly if those teams were in the '44 game' championship. The second option is that they play their matches at Parkhead/Ibrox, but once again that will be a scheduling nightmare, and will no doubt result in the two bigot brothers getting further TV spots if games need moved. Or even worse, it could result in the colt teams getting the TV spots. It's all just a big plan put in place to benefit the two favourite sons of Scottish Football, and the fact that this is *rumoured to be* getting lapped up by he Championship clubs is a disgrace. I for one will be absolutely disgusted if I find out we've voted for this pish.

The one encouraging thing that you can take from that is next season's view on youth players. I'm excited to see what talent we can bring through. If they get it wrong however, it could be a very grim season ahead indeed. But that goes to show how shite a season we all had. Need to forget and rebuild ASAP.

New statement released. Makes for grim reading. http://bit.ly/2DXhgAG

No real surprises with that bunch tbh. Just hope we emulate the 2015/16 Pars season and not the 2018/19 Falkirk season. Time will tell.

Yeah was about time he was gone tbh, last few performances bar one or two have been pretty brutal. Reckon he'll make the drop to League 1 to get some more Falkirk-skelping done before the end of his career, and in that I wish him all the best.

Mark Durnan, Kallum Higginbotham and Brandon Luke all posted goodbyes to pars. I'd expect more to come however...