Ebanda's Handyman Services

A classy day awaits then. B)

I registered our 5's team on Sunday and it still isn't on the list of teams. I have the confirmation e-mail. Is there a wee backlog of applicants?........

Kick his fuckin door in and confiscate his speakers.

He was brilliant last season but fucked up spectacularly last night. Never mind, it's only half time.

School for Scoundrels. 7/10 Quite entertaining with some very funny parts. The Man who sued God. 7/10 too. Fell asleep before the end as I was knackered but absolutely pished myself when one of the church leaders was asked if he really thought there was a God and he replied "I hope so, I spend half my day singing to him".

That will be my fall back if The Phoenix fails.

Got told on Thursday that there is a 9 month waiting list to have a vasectomy. I could have another bairn by then!

My main point being that it was nobody else's business. I'm probably at my most courteous when driving. (Most of the time anyway) Less able people have specific bays and believe it or not some elderly folk actually dont mind a wee walk now and again. They're old, not decrepit.

Maybe those fit and healthy people just cant be arsed walking the extra 50 yards and would rather drive around for a closer space. I know this is the petty nags thread but some of the things that piss people off beggar belief. Will Scottish people ever stop giving a f**k what other people do with their time and get on with their own lives? Hope your test goes well Gaz.

Bet your husband loves it when blowjob week comes around if you can sook Frosties through a straw.

Whats up like?

There you have it then. Get a flat top, tell him your name is Butch and he's all yours.

Maybe you came on too strong, theres nothing worse than a desperate woman or maybe you have a weird laugh that embarrassed him or something. There's always the chance that he was a latent homosexual too. Did he ask you to speak in a deep voice and possibly comment on how he just loves your moustache?

I'll never get women! If the boy in question tried to f**k you straight away you'd be on here complaining what arseholes men were and that they were just after the one thing. Make your fucking minds up.

My pal came into work tonight and told me that he heard on the radio that it ended up as a five car pile up! I'm glad I got out of there anyway.

I was expecting worse if I be honest having seen some of your straight to the point posting. Dinnae feel too bad about it.

What did you say to the boy Gogo?

I just witnessed a bad car crash on the way home from work. Happened about 100 metres in front of me! I was just driving along as normal looking at the car lights in front of me when all of a sudden this Corsa weaved left and then fish-tailed right and smashed into the central reserve, turned around on impact to face back on to the road and seemed to drive forward and took out a 4x4. I had to break quite sharply and pull up on to the verge on the side of the road with the hazzard lights on to alert other drivers. Some idiots still flew past and over all the debris at 70+mph though and I'm surprised that it didn't end up more than two cars that were written off. I saw that the folk in the cars were Ok and then got out of the way to call the police. Scary stuff like, I cant believe that the two folk walked away from it and it certainly was another eye opener for me about the potential consequences of dangerous driving.

Monster, you do realise that you now have licence to touch up lesbians?

Sure is! I'll be up for a wee while yet, you can burn ma virtual lugs if you like.

Where is the Mrs anyway Adam?

Imagine the ripping you'd have had at school if your pals found out that your dinner was pilfered from a bucket. The poor wee bugger shouldnt be subjected to pretty much everything that he was. As for the Dad, he was just pure lazy and I got the impression that the Mum wasn't all there. They were also filthy and I'm glad that smellevision isn't invented. What pissed me off is the fact that they contributed f**k all to society, didnt pay NI or anything. Yet they still used the education system and the NHS that we pay for every week. Happy birthday Caleycasual.

Hook, line and sinker - The Fandangos Any of you guys fans of The Fandangos?

Did anyone see the 'Jesus Christians' on Wife Swap last night? Totally infuriating 'Freegans' who eat out of supermarket bins, live in campervans and generally do nothing but preach on the streets about Jesus and ask for donations. I still dont know what they did with the donations that they received and at the same time I wondered where they got money for petrol, clothes and stuff. Surely they werent luring people into giving donations towards a Christian organisation and then using said donations for petrol and the like?

It'd just be like Big Brother. You could watch me sit around doing f**k all and then going to my bed.