Ebanda's Handyman Services

20 biggest tracks of the nineties is on Q at the moment. It's down to no. 10 which is the excellent Blur - Coffee and TV.

I know that I'm being judgemental but I cant help but get the impression that people who spend hundreds of pounds on fireworks are a bit stupid and get wee hard-on's while slavering at the mouth when their fireworks make a big banging noise or some colours light up the sky for precisely 1 second. They probably have spaghetti stuck to their heads somewhere too. The type of folk who set out an array of pots and pans and pretend to play the drums just so they can make a racket. 13 year olds trapped in 35 year old mens bodies. Give me your money you easy pleased mongo's. I'll eat it or drink it instead of blowing it up.

You're lucky you can drive the wife's car. I'd rather jog the ten miles to Dunfermline than drive the girls 0-60 in 5.3 months 'car'. She has the cheek to call me a snob tae!

Bugger! I'm just gonna pester my TL for dayshift where I am.

Get photo's up too!

I'd be more than happy to stay where I am but on dayshift. Carol's gonna find it hard when the other wee one is born if we're still on different shifts. You seem to be doing well in your job just now, own office and all that. Good on you!

I was doing well until she asked me about personal goals and I replied that my main personal goal at the moment was to make it to away games at Dingwall, Peterhead and Berwick. It was lower wages and less perks than my current job so I'm not too bothered. P.S. Thanks for asking.

Bugger going to McDonalds in Glasgow..... "You over 7 years of age sir?" "A wee bit, aye" "Sorry, you'll need to put that straw back".

Do they no' have straws where you come from?

Just glue each drink to the dash and tell the hire car people that it's not your fault Galaxies dont have cup holders. I'll pester you on Sunday to see how it drives.

When did you get a Galaxy Monster? I quite like them but I'd need to get a spoiler on it so I can pretend I'm in the A-Team. My wee car has four cup holders, one in each door and two in the console separating the front seats. B)

Is'nt Samhain something to do with the beginning of November. If so, is that not like wishing someone happy new year on the 31st of December?

Make sure it's plugged in.

He's probably not ignoring you, he may have technical issues? Edit - See!

What did ye do like?

I watched Click on Saturday and really enjoyed it. Pissing myself laughing at some parts and close to tears at others. First Adam Sandler film I've seen that made me think. 8/10.

Monster, Dr Andy prescribes you and Ayrgirl a day in Alloa watching a winning team (I'm not sure which one) to re-ignite your passion for the beautiful game and to make you the rampant stallion that we have heard about before.

I think it was Rui Costa.

Celtic fans, the best fans in the world? Aye right! Live streaming of the Benfica V Celtic game last night saw hoardes of Celtic fans calling up and my team taking loads of abuse. One nice gentleman I got started the swearing 5 seconds into the call and was promptly cut off. It pains me to say this as I like Celtic due to my old man being a tim but over the course of the two nights the Rangers fans showed themselves to be far more civilised, friendlier even than the Celtic fans.

P&B TV's Mock Music!

Sung by Gerry and Kate........ Were no strangers to drugging You know the rules and so do i A full nights sedation's what Im thinking of You wouldnt get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how Im feeling Gotta make you understand * Didnt want to cut you up Didnt want to make you drown Did want to swing around and desert you Probably made you cry Didnt get to say goodbye Never gonna tell the cops we drugged you Weve been suspects for so long The press think we did it And they're not too shy to say it Inside we both know whats been going on We know the game and were gonna play it And if you ask me how Im feeling I feel like doing my daily blog * Didnt want to cut you up Didnt want to make you drown Did want to swing around and desert you Probably made you cry Didnt get to say goodbye Never gonna tell the cops we drugged you Cut you up. Cut you up Cut you up, Cut you up Never gonna give Never gonna give, give up Never gonna give Never gonna give, give up I just wanna tell you how Im feeling Gotta make you understand (* repeat 3 times)

My interview seemed to go ok that time. The woman interviewing kept on saying words like brilliant and excellent. I'll hear within 7 days apparently!

Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down So sit right there and take of your shoes Ill tell you how I became the princess of a town called Praia da Luz. Im Northern England born and raised In the apartment is where I spent most of my days Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool Mum and Dad ate and drank beside the pool When a dodgy baddy undid my rooms lock Started making trouble in my apartment block I rattled him with Cuddle Cat and pulled at his hair The Glaswegian in me came out and I fought like a bear. He whistled for a hire car and when it came near the Licensplate said 'Baddy' and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this hire car was rare But I thought now forget it, he might be taking me to the fair. We pulled up to a house about quarter past nine And I yelled to the baddy you'll get jail plus a fine Big Philomena emerged and took me up the stairs I then woke up sweating, I'd had a nightmare.

Do you think blackmail might be a good path to go down? "Gies a joab or I'll move my mortgage". There's my tactic right there.