Ebanda's Handyman Services

Lyn-Marie, listen to the Strokes, good things happen for good people (I dont know how that'll affect you) and fire your coffee in the microwave for 1 minute.

Some people live to put others down Debbie and the person that sent you that message seems to be one of those arseholes. He'll probably tell everyone he meets today what a clever boy he is but they'll treat him with the usual contempt that they usually do. Good luck with the auction and I hope you have kept his address so you can get it right up him if you meet the price you're asking. Edit:- I meant the ebay message, not bluetooner!

It's only a fiver man! Five quid worth o' karma isnt gonna be much.

(D) Pints.

A wee bit like the 14 year old that let me into Central Park last week for a tenner?

Cant blame you. As soon as I read it I thought about the possibilities. I'm stuck on cheating at the moment.

Aye c'mon. I want all the juicy details too.

Not now. I think she genuinely feels sorry for me with the hangover that I'm currently enduring.

I'm not long in. Thje girl is well pissed off but I survived.

I've got fucking no chance of lasting until the night is over. I've had three cans (Three!) and I'm already feeling thon fuzzy headed way. I'll try and drink through it and see where that gets me. I wasnae even sure if I spelled three right, had to think about it for a moment. Those three (sp?) cans were consumed in the space of half an hour though so I'm still butch and manly.

We got him a wee pair of Clarks boots and the wee bugger has started to undo the velcro on them. He's currently wearing his wooly hat while tearing about shouting "Tup o' tea".

I'm stuck in the bloody house waiting for a new oven to arrive and my wee boy keeps taking his right sock off.

On a lighter note, I snapped my swipe card for the canteen while trying to scrape ice off my car. Jack Frost is trying to kill me with starvation, he's realised that a shitey wee layer of ice wasnt paying dividends. Cue me spinning out on black ice and getting identified by my dental records tonight.

It is very tragic and I do feel for their families. Your indignation would carry a lot more weight if you hadn't wished cancer on a fellow human being previously Kilt.

*Eats toast*

Might do it tonight again, there was a few of them close to breaking point.

I was pissing off my workmates last night by sending them - 'See Groundhog Day is being re-released for it's 15th anniversary.' by e-mail every 5 minutes.

After whispering Awooga in her ear?

I got this great mental image of you ploughing through your class, punches being thrown in every direction.

Wont you get fired if you lay out your entire classroom?

From the impression you get of Kilt from here I'd have been accurate either way.

It's hard work for the poor lassies!

Ah right! I thought it was a smaller independent company. I tried to put the child proof thingys on our kitchen cupboard doors. Drilled pilot holes straight through two doors and cracked another door while pulling it towards me to get some purchase from my screwdriver. I was successful with the hazardous liquids cupboard though so the bairn should be safe until he works it out.

Tell the company you'll be firing a wee letter off to the local and national press if they dont get it sorted. The Judge in the Sunday Mail deals with that kind of shit quite efficiently!