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16 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Queue of people waiting to use a trio of bank machines. The ATM you are using breaks down. Do you go to the back or front of the queue to use another one?

Say "Hey this one is giving out double what I asked for"

Then while they all switch to that one, you quickly use the one that works!

Then run.

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One time I was in Leicester Square in the days before mobile phones.
I went to use one of the public phones and there was a long queue for the one on the right.
I decided to try the one on the left.
Not only did it work but it gave me all my money back.
After that, I informed the people in the queue but they obviously concluded that I was a nutcase and there was no way they were going to lose their place in the queue.

Some people just love queues.

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32 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

I've just witnessed a woman in the pub pour a can of Diet Coke into half a pint of Tennents. Am I missing something or has the world gone mad?

This was many years ago, but a friend of my dad's was a coach driver and told us once that they had stopped at a pub for lunch. He saw somebody order a pint of lager, topped off with tomato juice.

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8 minutes ago, 1320Lichtie said:

Good chat up line for somebody that is a carer? Nothing else to work with but that.

She'll spend her time wiping arses and feeding people, mate. Anything that DOESN'T revolve around that would be good. 

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