Things you want to share with P&B

[Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo]

4 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:

Watching a programme this morning with subtitles on and a song started playing. The subtitles read *You Spin Me Round by Dead or Alive plays*. Thought it was a bit strange given deaf people won't have any clue what that is.

Stock, Aitken and Waterman's first Number One single. Arnie going back to 1985 to knock off those 3 c***s should be the theme of the next Terminator movie, IMO.

[Duszek]

On 09/07/2020 at 11:34, DA Baracus said:

Having just checked he was 22, not 21, at the time he moved in with them.

She was 32. Two different fathers for the kids (4 and 1 split).

I have my own theory about it, and it isn't that.

If you don’t mind sharing, what’s your theory? Why would a 22 year-old dude sign up for 17 (SEVENTEEN) years living with a woman ten years older than him, plus her 5 (FIVE) children.

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, Duszek said:

If you don’t mind sharing, what’s your theory? Why would a 22 year-old dude sign up for 17 (SEVENTEEN) years living with a woman ten years older than him, plus her 5 (FIVE) children.

Ok.

My mum bullied my older brother a lot for some reason. Not sure why or when it started but I first recall it being a thing when we moved house in 1995. It got progressively worse over the years and he tried to spend as much time as possible away from her. My parents were friends with a family who lived down the road, as my dad served in the navy with the husband of that couple, and I suspect that this one of the main reasons we moved to where we did. They had a son and we all went on holiday a couple of times. Both times my older brother travelled and stayed with them.

I knew the bullying really upset him. He used to be a really good rugby player to the extent he had trials with professional teams. The bullying really fucked him, knocked his confidence and he stopped playing. Looking back it's obvious he was in a bad place. 

He then meets a woman who is nice to him. She treats him well and they get on. They start going out and he sees a way to escape and be away from my mum. It should be acknowledged that my brother and my former partner genuinely liked and cared for each other, so I don't want to do them a disservice. 

I think in a way she was a bit of a mother figure. Not in a dreadful way, but a deep psychological way.

He stayed because he loved her. Also her kids were, and are, really sound people, so he probably enjoyed living with them.

I haven't spoken to him about this yet, but it must really hurt that he doesn't see them anymore and isn't really a part of their life anymore. He pretty much was a father to the youngest. I really hope he isn't trying to replace that hurt with his new partner. I've met her and she's really nice and they do genuinely love each other, and they are really affectionate, something I never saw with my him and his (soon to be) ex wife, so I am leaning towards this not being a replacement for the massive aching hole in his heart, but I do have concerns.

I'll need to speak to him about it soon.

[Duszek]

12 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Ok.

My mum bullied my older brother a lot for some reason. Not sure why or when it started but I first recall it being a thing when we moved house in 1995. It got progressively worse over the years and he tried to spend as much time as possible away from her. My parents were friends with a family who lived down the road, as my dad served in the navy with the husband of that couple, and I suspect that this one of the main reasons we moved to where we did. They had a son and we all went on holiday a couple of times. Both times my older brother travelled and stayed with them.

I knew the bullying really upset him. He used to be a really good rugby player to the extent he had trials with professional teams. The bullying really fucked him, knocked his confidence and he stopped playing. Looking back it's obvious he was in a bad place. 

He then meets a woman who is nice to him. She treats him well and they get on. They start going out and he sees a way to escape and be away from my mum. It should be acknowledged that my brother and my former partner genuinely liked and cared for each other, so I don't want to do them a disservice. 

I think in a way she was a bit of a mother figure. Not in a dreadful way, but a deep psychological way.

He stayed because he loved her. Also her kids were, and are, really sound people, so he probably enjoyed living with them.

I haven't spoken to him about this yet, but it must really hurt that he doesn't see them anymore and isn't really a part of their life anymore. He pretty much was a father to the youngest. I really hope he isn't trying to replace that hurt with his new partner. I've met her and she's really nice and they do genuinely love each other, and they are really affectionate, something I never saw with my him and his (soon to be) ex wife, so I am leaning towards this not being a replacement for the massive aching hole in his heart, but I do have concerns.

I'll need to speak to him about it soon.

Cheers for sharing that. Quite a story. Difficult to imagine why a mother would want to bully her son. Hope this new woman works out well for him.

[DA Baracus]

15 hours ago, Duszek said:

Cheers for sharing that. Quite a story. Difficult to imagine why a mother would want to bully her son. Hope this new woman works out well for him.

I don't know, and maybe never will. I want to confront her one day. She's a drunk, so that may play a part. Not a stumbling around, pished all the time drunk. But she drank every day. She was, for a long time, a functional alcoholic. She had a good job and she was good at it. She drank many nights though and usually passed out in front of the TV. After she lost that job, through no fault of her own (genuinely; was due to the owners being scumbags), she gave up. Her losing her job was years after my older brother met his (soon to be) ex wife and moved out though.

She started drinking every single night. She doubted her abilities. She thought she could never get as good a job again, so never once tried. She settled for a shite entry level job that she hated and never once tried to change it. She 'retired' a couple of years ago (she was 'made redundant') and now sits at home all day waiting for wine o'clock. It's sad and I feel guilty for not doing more, but my dad is in massive denial on one hand but also knows and desperately hides the truth. 

She absolutely relies on my dad. She couldn't function without him. He pays for everything. He pays for her car, her food and her wine. I don't even think she goes to the job centre to sign on. She's 60 so I think she's too young for her pension. 

My old man opened up a bit that she is developing bad arthritis and often hears her crying at night (they have slept in seperate rooms for years; it's claimed it's because of his snoring, which is massively loud to be fair, but I suspect other reasons). She refuses to go to the doctor for some reason.

This is going to sound so bad, but I mean it. I hope she dies before he does. She couldn't cope without him. She would be gone within a year at most. It would be unbearable sad and painful to see her degradation. She would drink herself to death. If my dad dies before her, she gets his full will/estate. I don't care about the money. I'd rather have 0p and my dad, but if she had it she'd just spend it on wine. At least now my dad can sort of restrict her drinking, but if she had some cash she would absolutely spend it on wine.

When my dad was diagnosed with leukaemia in December the fear of his death was bad, but the fear of him dying before my mum and then having to be witness to her living death was just as bad. Thankfully he seems to be doing well now, but he's on a countdown clock.

 

Terrible thoughts to have I know, but that's how I feel.

 

 

Edited July 11, 2020 by DA Baracus

[DA Baracus]

I'm afraid to speak to her and my dad about her drinking and obvious mental issues.

She's exceptional childish when confronted about her drinking. I've seen my dad do it a few times and she's went mental, being incredibly petulant and unbelievable immature. Frankly she's a massive c**t when even asked about it. 

She is massively in denial over it. My dad is a bit too, despite also knowing of the issue.

I'm afraid to talk to him about it too. But I want to do it. I want to get her help, not just for the drinking but for her mental issues. I want to know why she quit on life. I want to know why she bullied my older brother.

I want to discuss things with them both before it's too late.

It's nonsensical, but I'm scared to do it. I've went periods where I haven't spoken to them for over a year, so know I can live without them, but I'm still scared.

[DA Baracus]

Anyway, shit got dark there. Let's back to nonsense.

[Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo]

TOTP 1989 is my favourite show on the TV. A weekly Friday night treat. Tonight's delight has Big Fun by Inner City as Mark Goodier's background music throughout the show.

[Bert Raccoon]

24 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

I don't know, and maybe never will. I want to confront her one day. She's a drunk, so that may play a part. Not a stumbling around, pished all the time drunk. But she drank every day. She was, for a long time, a functional alcoholic. She had a good job and she was good at it. She drank many nights though and usually passed out in front of the TV. After she lost that job, through no fault of her own (genuinely; was due to the owners being scumbags), she gave up. Her losing her job was years before my older brother met his (soon to be) ex wife and moved out though.

She started drinking every single night. She doubted her abilities. She thought she could never get as good a job again, so never once tried. She settled for a shite entry level job that she hated and never once tried to change it. She 'retired' a couple of years ago (she was 'made redundant') and now sits at home all day waiting for wine o'clock. It's sad and I feel guilty for not doing more, but my dad is in massive denial on one hand but also knows and desperately hides the truth. 

She absolutely relies on my dad. She couldn't function without him. He pays for everything. He pays for her car, her food and her wine. I don't even think she goes to the job centre to sign on. She's 60 so I think she's too young for her pension. 

My old opened up a bit that she is developing bad arthritis and often hears her crying at night (they have slept in seperate rooms for years; it's claimed it's because of his snoring, which is massively loud to be fair, but I suspect other reasons). She refuses to go to the doctor for some reason.

This is going to sound so bad, but I mean it. I hope she dies before he does. She couldn't cope without him. She would be gone within a year at most. It would be unbearable sad and painful to see her degradation. She would drink herself to death. If my dad dies before her, she gets his full will/estate. I don't care about the money. I'd rather have 0p and my dad, but if she had it she'd just spend it on wine. At least now my dad can sort of restrict her drinking, but if she had some cash she would absolutely spend it on wine.

When my dad was diagnosed with leukaemia in December the fear of his death was bad, but the fear of him dying before my mum and then having to be witness to her living death was just as bad. Thankfully he seems to be doing well now, but he's on a countdown clock.

 

Terrible thoughts to have I know, but that's how I feel.

 

 

Gonna open up here's bit and it's not really something I talk about but I feel it's pertinent. Reading about your mother and her relationship with alcohol really mirrored my own dad's. He had a really good job with the council, went from working class to middle class and had a lovely home and although he split with my mum we still had a very good relationship. He was also a drinker, easier for a man especially in the 80s/90s as that was the norm, few pints at lunchtime, or after work was the norm. This carried on and slowly got worse, a few pints after work turned into a few pints then off home for a bottle of wine or two.

When he was around 57 he was pensioned off, with a fair amount of cash which he could easily have survived off but it was the feeling of having no purpose that got to him. He volunteered helping young unemployed  folk get ready for jobs but that only lasted so long so he'd spend all his time in the pub, most days from 11am. He wasn't some kind of pished stained jakie and still had a big house and wife at home but it got worse and worse. To an extent I ignored it and never really thought it was as bad as it was so we'd still regularly meet at the weekend for a few beers to watch the football. Looking back I should've stepped in and said enough was enough but you never think the worst thing will happen and to an extent I probably was an enabler because I was blinkered to how bad his alcoholism was as I only saw him at the weekends when he was the life and soul of the pub that everyone knew and liked.

Anyway, eventually we managed to persuade him to go to hospital for treatment but it was too late and sadly he passed away at 59. To this day I regret not doing more. All I can say is do everything you can to make you're mother realise what she's doing to herself before it's too late. I'm not sayin you already are and alcoholics are impossible to deal with but there's always still time. 

Edited July 10, 2020 by Bert Raccoon

[Melanius Mullarkey]

15 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

TOTP 1989 is my favourite show on the TV. A weekly Friday night treat. Tonight's delight has Big Fun by Inner City as Mark Goodier's background music throughout the show.

It’s just lead me to learn that Sydney Youngblood and Soul II Soul has a bit of a “feud”.

[Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo]

1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

It’s just lead me to learn that Sydney Youngblood and Soul II Soul has a bit of a “feud”.

I met Jazzy B in Blackheath once. Have never met Sydney, though, so I'll assume that he got killed off in the 90s by yardies with sympathies to the S2S crew.

[Shandon Par]

There were a couple of car garages around Bow or maybe Bethnal Green that catered to the particular tastes of the Yardies. First there was Rude Beemers and up the street was Rude Mercs. Much better names than the boring stuff we get like “Dickson’s of Perth”.

[DA Baracus]

35 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said:

Gonna open up here's bit and it's not really something I talk about but I feel it's pertinent. Reading about your mother and her relationship with alcohol really mirrored my own dad's. He had a really good job with the council, went from working class to middle class and had a lovely home and although he split with my mum we still had a very good relationship. He was also a drinker, easier for a man especially in the 80s/90s as that was the norm, few pints at lunchtime, or after work was the norm. This carried on and slowly got worse, a few pints after work turned into a few pints then off home for a bottle of wine or two.

When he was around 57 he was pensioned off, with a fair amount of cash which he could easily have survived off but it was the feeling of having no purpose that got to him. He volunteered helping young unemployed  folk get ready for jobs but that only lasted so long so he'd spend all his time in the pub, most days from 11am. He wasn't some kind of pished stained jakie and still had a big house and wife at home but it got worse and worse. To an extent I ignored it and never really thought it was as bad as it was so we'd still regularly meet at the weekend for a few beers to watch the football. Looking back I should've stepped in and said enough was enough but you never think the worst thing will happen and to an extent I probably was an enabler because I was blinkered to how bad his alcoholism was as I only saw him at the weekends when he was the life and soul of the pub that everyone knew and liked.

Anyway, eventually we managed to persuade him to go to hospital for treatment but it was too late and sadly he passed away at 59. To this day I regret not doing more. All I can say is do everything you can to make you're mother realise what she's doing to herself before it's too late. I'm not sayin you already are and alcoholics are impossible to deal with but there's always still time. 

Sorry to hear about your dad. That's so rough. In a way it might have been easier if he was a pishy jakey.

Thank you for this post. Not just for sharing but also the advice. 

[Moomintroll]

29 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

It’s just lead me to learn that Sydney Youngblood and Soul II Soul has a bit of a “feud”.

Really? "If only I could" was quite the tune.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

9 hours ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

I met Jazzy B in Blackheath once. Have never met Sydney, though, so I'll assume that he got killed off in the 90s by yardies with sympathies to the S2S crew.

Jazzy was sum boi

9 hours ago, Perkin Flump said:

Really? "If only I could" was quite the tune.

Probably just media shite Saying he was ripping off Jazzy but Sydney took the cream puff anyway. 

[Venti]

Fucking bawbag out with a chainsaw doing hedges at 8am...

 

[Stellaboz]

Anyway, shit got dark there. Let's back to nonsense.

You need to get wired in about some Mexican John McVeigh is a tit when you're over there.

[Stellaboz]

I never knew m I n g e was in the swear filter!

[Jacksgranda]

12 hours ago, Bert Raccoon said:

 

. I'm not sayin you already are and alcoholics are impossible to deal with but there's always still time. 

Alcoholics are impossible to deal with. Until and unless they admit they have a problem and look for help themselves you're banging your head off a brick wall. Sad but true.

Some people don't drink, some  people can drink and some people can't drink. Until you start drinking yourself you don't know which of the latter two categories you fall into.

[19QOS19]

Fucking bawbag out with a chainsaw doing hedges at 8am...
 

I'm not sure what the official time for 'making noise' is in the morning. But when the schools are off I think it's dickhead behaviour to do it before 9am. I was awoken by the fat noisy cow the street behind today just after 8 as well. She was talking to her partner whilst getting into the car. Clearly incapable of speaking at a reasonable level. Stupid bitch.