Sergeant Wilson Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 39 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: What a fucking clown. Brown plastic trousers might come in handy at his age. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MazzyStar Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 He’s been rummaging through the charity shops in Broughty Ferry. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 30 minutes ago, MazzyStar said: He’s been rummaging in the bins behind the charity shops in Broughty Ferry. FTFY 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 Our next door neighbours must have been vaccinated with gramophone needles - they never use one sentence when ten will do. Yesterday afternoon there was a chap on the door and fortunately for me my wife answered it. It was our next door neighbour with a parcel for us which had been delivered in error to their house. With any normal person the conversation would have gone as follows - Neighbour: "This parcel came to us by mistake." My wife: "Thanks." Oh no, 5 minutes of shite ensued, "this was delivered by mistake", "I knew it wasn't for us", "we were scared of it getting wet", "we're going out later, so brought it round now" it then sequed into a tale about our previous postie (although this parcel wasn't delivered by Royal Mail) who retired about 3 years ago, delivering a parcel in error. I kind of tuned out at this stage, it was getting close to me ringing my wife's phone to rescue her, which is our usual ploy when cornered by one of them. Nice enough people, but totally incapable of holding a sensible conversation, they just go on and on and on and round in circles, telling you the same thing three different ways. I knew a man in Coleraine who was similar, although there was a bit of an excuse for him, as he lived on his own. A mutual acquaintance once advised me "The only way to deal with Roy is say 'Hello, Roy', and keep going. Don't say 'It's a nice day' as that will result in a whole debate about the definition of 'nice'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 3 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Our next door neighbours must have been vaccinated with gramophone needles - they never use one sentence when ten will do. Yesterday afternoon there was a chap on the door and fortunately for me my wife answered it. It was our next door neighbour with a parcel for us which had been delivered in error to their house. With any normal person the conversation would have gone as follows - Neighbour: "This parcel came to us by mistake." My wife: "Thanks." Oh no, 5 minutes of shite ensued, "this was delivered by mistake", "I knew it wasn't for us", "we were scared of it getting wet", "we're going out later, so brought it round now" it then sequed into a tale about our previous postie (although this parcel wasn't delivered by Royal Mail) who retired about 3 years ago, delivering a parcel in error. I kind of tuned out at this stage, it was getting close to me ringing my wife's phone to rescue her, which is our usual ploy when cornered by one of them. Nice enough people, but totally incapable of holding a sensible conversation, they just go on and on and on and round in circles, telling you the same thing three different ways. I knew a man in Coleraine who was similar, although there was a bit of an excuse for him, as he lived on his own. A mutual acquaintance once advised me "The only way to deal with Roy is say 'Hello, Roy', and keep going. Don't say 'It's a nice day' as that will result in a whole debate about the definition of 'nice'. Tldr 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 10 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Our next door neighbours must have been vaccinated with gramophone needles - they never use one sentence when ten will do. Yesterday afternoon there was a chap on the door and fortunately for me my wife answered it. It was our next door neighbour with a parcel for us which had been delivered in error to their house. With any normal person the conversation would have gone as follows - Neighbour: "This parcel came to us by mistake." My wife: "Thanks." Oh no, 5 minutes of shite ensued, "this was delivered by mistake", "I knew it wasn't for us", "we were scared of it getting wet", "we're going out later, so brought it round now" it then sequed into a tale about our previous postie (although this parcel wasn't delivered by Royal Mail) who retired about 3 years ago, delivering a parcel in error. I kind of tuned out at this stage, it was getting close to me ringing my wife's phone to rescue her, which is our usual ploy when cornered by one of them. Nice enough people, but totally incapable of holding a sensible conversation, they just go on and on and on and round in circles, telling you the same thing three different ways. I knew a man in Coleraine who was similar, although there was a bit of an excuse for him, as he lived on his own. A mutual acquaintance once advised me "The only way to deal with Roy is say 'Hello, Roy', and keep going. Don't say 'It's a nice day' as that will result in a whole debate about the definition of 'nice'. My neighbour brought a parcel of mine delivered to them by accident. I'll give you that one for free. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eindhovendee Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 16 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Our next door neighbours must have been vaccinated with gramophone needles - they never use one sentence when ten will do. Yesterday afternoon there was a chap on the door and fortunately for me my wife answered it. It was our next door neighbour with a parcel for us which had been delivered in error to their house. With any normal person the conversation would have gone as follows - Neighbour: "This parcel came to us by mistake." My wife: "Thanks." Oh no, 5 minutes of shite ensued, "this was delivered by mistake", "I knew it wasn't for us", "we were scared of it getting wet", "we're going out later, so brought it round now" it then sequed into a tale about our previous postie (although this parcel wasn't delivered by Royal Mail) who retired about 3 years ago, delivering a parcel in error. I kind of tuned out at this stage, it was getting close to me ringing my wife's phone to rescue her, which is our usual ploy when cornered by one of them. Nice enough people, but totally incapable of holding a sensible conversation, they just go on and on and on and round in circles, telling you the same thing three different ways. I knew a man in Coleraine who was similar, although there was a bit of an excuse for him, as he lived on his own. A mutual acquaintance once advised me "The only way to deal with Roy is say 'Hello, Roy', and keep going. Don't say 'It's a nice day' as that will result in a whole debate about the definition of 'nice'. Are you living next to Uncle Colm from Derry Girls? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 Just now, eindhovendee said: Are you living next to Uncle Colm from Derry Girls? They could certainly stand in for him... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 Urgent warning as flotilla of venomous creatures wash up on Gwynedd coast 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parsforlife Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 On 09/11/2023 at 13:10, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Shortlisted for the award of There Are Better Chip Shops Elsewhere. If I ever walk into a chippy and there's someone wearing a tie I'm walking straight back out. Also he's about 25 at best, something screams inheritance tax dodge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wee-Bey Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 Just spent stupid money on some new ear buds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 18 minutes ago, Venti said: Just spent stupid money on some new ear buds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 47 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said: No i meant two St Mirren supporters booing me in stereo. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistledo Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 14 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said: My neighbour brought a parcel of mine delivered to them by accident. I'll give you that one for free. For the second time the old neighbour a few doors along got a parcel for us, (wrongly addressed) for the second time grumpily handed it over saying "it's happened again" and for the second time I said "I don't control what address people choose to write" I think this will continue until one of us dies, fortunately he's considerably older than me. Weird thing is, he's a really pleasant guy any other time, wondering if it's some kind of banter thing he thinks we have going. 1 hour ago, Venti said: Just spent stupid money on some new ear buds. What did you go for? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 1 hour ago, thistledo said: For the second time the old neighbour a few doors along got a parcel for us, (wrongly addressed) for the second time grumpily handed it over saying "it's happened again" and for the second time I said "I don't control what address people choose to write" I think this will continue until one of us dies, fortunately he's considerably older than me. Weird thing is, he's a really pleasant guy any other time, wondering if it's some kind of banter thing he thinks we have going. What did you go for? Actually came to my senses & realised Christmas is ahead & I'm soon to be skint. Cancelled the Bose ones & went for Sennheiser cX. Cheapskate option. (But maybe sensible) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beans on Toast Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 Unsure if I should share this here, especially as I'm not sure how to use the spoiler function, so if you're easily upset skip the rest of this. Last night I had such a horrific and confusing dream. Its afternoon now and I'm still not over it. I barely ever remember my dreams as well, so God knows why this one has stayed with me. I'm my dream I was the owner of Falkirk Football Club. I am not a Falkirk fan nor do I live in or near Falkrik. As you can imagine I am still slightly shaken by it. What does it mean? Why would my brain do this to me? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 3 hours ago, Venti said: Just spent stupid money on some new ear buds. These do me 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said: These do me They wouldn't get past the hairs Sarge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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