RoversMad Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Couple allegedly get Athletic down Charlton way. Charlton Athletic investigate pitch sex video http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/31641876 Presumably he dribbled after he shot. P'ah thats nothing, I've seen Nayim lob semen from 40 yards... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 FAKE AND GAY 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Well after the delights of last night's bedtime reading of the chapter 'Killing Child At Zoo' in which Bateman hid behind a bin in the penguin enclosure and lured a 5 year old boy over with the promise of a cookie before stabbing him in the neck, today at lunch I read the previously hinted at 'rat' chapter. Should probably put in spoiler as it's exceptionally NSFW (no pictures though); Bateman lures another bird back to his place. After some rough sex where he starts to bites her lips, she tried to run away, only for him to catch her and smash her head against the wall until she's knocked out. When she wakes up she's nailed to the floor. Bateman is 'gobbling' on some brains of a previous victim, directly from the skull, seasoning it with Grey Poupon. Bateman tried to put a power drill in to her mouth, but she clenches her teeth, and although the drill destroys them, he loses interest. He's making her watch a video of previous torture he committed. Bateman tries to insert a tube, greased with olive oil, in to her vagina, but it won't fit, so he uses acid to burn away the edges until it does fit. I should mention that he was placed a large slice of Brie and some glass in the poor lass's vagina. The purpose of the tube has already been alluded to, but to erase any doubt, he does indeed put a rat in the tube (the tube is connected to the rat's cage; the rat is starving because it wouldn't eat the other rat that Bateman bought and poisned; this rat just appeared out of his toilet one day). You can guess what happens next. After a couple of minutes of seeing the rat squirm under her belly, he cuts the woman in half with a chainsaw, then holds up her legs like a trophy, just before she dies. He then sticks a knife up her nose until it comes out of her forehead, then hacks her chinbone off, before fucking her in the mouth three times. He then gouges her eyes out with his bare hands. The rat emerges, and he stomps it to death. He cooks the lassie's femur and left jawbone in the over, before putting her pubic hair in an ashtray and setting it alight. There was no lunchtime erection today. I had plain cheese sandwiches as I've run out of ham and I'm skint until I get paid tomorrow (I had to walk to work this morning). They were accessorised by a packet of Mini Cheddars I found in a cupboard in the kitchen. I feel that if I was caught writing that, I would be fired, and possibly jailed. Sounds like a book for budding serial killers to masturbate over. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 banana, that wasn't fake. It was real, man. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Sounds like a book for budding serial killers to masturbate over. Kickback's favourite book.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 It's actually a pretty funny book (and very funny film, although for obvious reasons several 'edits' have been made). Obviously the brutal killings aren't hilarious, but the character of Bateman is. Some of the stuff he says is deeply amusing. The overall satire of a certain section of American society at a certain time is very cutting and funny, and pretty spot on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 The comments section in most articles on The Guardian website are a place that make you feel like this: However, when reading one article pointing out that James Bay is yet another boring, beige twat with long hair, and/or a hat, and a guitar, hailed as the next best thing in British music (when he's actually just distinctly average but hey, look at him he wears a hat! Beck wears a hat and people like him! He must be good!) this speck of gold had me in stitches. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 It's actually a pretty funny book (and very funny film, although for obvious reasons several 'edits' have been made). Obviously the brutal killings aren't hilarious, but the character of Bateman is. Some of the stuff he says is deeply amusing. The overall satire of a certain section of American society at a certain time is very cutting and funny, and pretty spot on. Bateman's other claim to fame is as the Spiritual Father of Club Dece. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) Watching the "highlights" of a Maltese football match.....to describe the standard as garbage would be an insult to garbage! Scottish football ain't that bad folks! Edited February 26, 2015 by sjc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 See you there on the 7th Mrs M I will be eyeing the crowd suspiciously now, looking for a Captain Birdseye hat or an eye patch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) Watching the "highlights" of a Maltese football match.....to describe the standard as garbage would be an insult to garbage! Scottish football ain't that bad folks! What's the weather like? Wooly jumpers for the evenings or should a nice frock do it? Edited February 26, 2015 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P45 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 "Horrible Tackle" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Joseph Stalin Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Llamas 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Balbirs curry for tea #pleasing 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P45 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Balbirs curry for tea #pleasing Totes jelly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Balbirs curry for tea #pleasing The only thing I miss about working at The Western is getting a takeaway from Balbirs at the end of a Friday night shift. Fantastic food. Restaurant is even better than the takeaway. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 The only thing I miss about working at The Western is getting a takeaway from Balbirs at the end of a Friday night shift. Fantastic food. Restaurant is even better than the takeaway. Definitely. You can't get bhel poori if you're taking it away, the best part of the meal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-31641026 What a lousy thing to do, breaking bad news when folk are away on holiday in Malta. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 White and gold or blue and black? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Joseph Stalin Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Blur and gold 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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