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Seriously though - She seems like the kind of MILF that all the auld men in a care home would gather round the telly and drool over.

Oi you! I'm only 38 & I certainly would nae kick her out of bed for eating toast...
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Ralston: absolute bisexual filthpot! Stunned to read that being compared to Lisa Ann is now a bad thing. But don't take my word for it - where's Mozza when you need him for support?

Oh :( RIP, you crazy diamond.

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That shows exactly what a useless piece of shit the Press Complaints Commission was. Cnuts.

Agreed, but why exactly, in this case?

IIRC, the pieces that the Screws printed were pretty prurient, and it was fairly obvious that the only reason they ran them in the first place was because "PWOAR! LESBIANS, EH?"

f**k 'em. Wouldn't wipe my arse with any of them.

(newspapers, I mean)

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Went to Inn Deep last night (plus about 10 other pubs) but didnt bump into Knightswood Bear this time. My mate got us thrown out for falling into a table of lesbians, spilling their food everywhere and sending them apoplectic

I scarpered sharpish when I saw you this time.

Not making that mistake again.

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