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Similar symptoms I'd guess but even that would be preferable to having to get checked out for bowel &/or lower intestinal cancer.

Personal question, but are you bleeding out your arse?

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Profiteroles were actually a relative success, if you factor in that I can't bake to save myself (I do make a good brownie, however). They rose alright, and weren't like flat Yorkshire puddings which is always a good thing. Shame they tasted disappointing.

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Ok. Sorry, I can't help you then.

I reckon you might have the most niche and obscure mutant superhero power I've ever heard of.

Woman: "Help, the baby's trapped in that burning house!"

Bleeding Rectum Man: "Are you bleeding from your anus?"

Woman: "!"

Woman: "Em, actually... yes, I am!"

BRM: *flies off to save baby*

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I reckon you might have the most niche and obscure mutant superhero power I've ever heard of.

Woman: "Help, the baby's trapped in that burning house!"

Bleeding Rectum Man: "Are you bleeding from your anus?"

Woman: "!"

Woman: "Em, actually... yes, I am!"

BRM: *flies off to save baby*

Haven't you heard? I've been saving the people of Scotland from haemorrhaging anal fissures since I was bitten on the sphincter by an infected spider when I was a child. I fly about with my avatar on my cape and dwell behind the clockface of the Trongate Tower with Helmetman.

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