Things you want to share with P&B

[Sergeant Wilson]

14 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

Christ, sarn't, that's a sore yin right enough. Glad to hear you're coming out the other side.

In the past again now, but you never really know what's in store. It wasn't great for the kids who weren't used to it and it still affects one more than the other.

That's where all my guilt went. I've got none left for anything else.

[throbber]

19 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

Christ, sarn't, that's a sore yin right enough. Glad to hear you're coming out the other side.

What exactly do you mean when you talk about your middle class lifestyle? 

[Nutz_the_Squirrel]

The idea of being ‘on edge’ a lot is linked to what is known as toxic stress. As Pete identifies, it has connotations for fight/flight/freeze. Ever met someone who ‘goes from 0-100’ in terms of aggression? That’s often about toxic stress (and alcohol makes it more apparent). Anyway, the impact of raising kids in such circumstances has lifelong consequences. I’d recommend this video for starters:

Too long didn’t watch? Adverse experiences in childhood (most of which are disproportionately experienced in communities like the one shown in that horrible video) are linked to poor health outcomes including increased strokes, heart attacks etc. And no, it’s not because people from marginalised backgrounds drink or smoke more.

We need to give poverty the heave-ho. It’s a political choice not to. 

[Sweet Pete]

19 minutes ago, throbber said:

What exactly do you mean when you talk about your middle class lifestyle? 

In what context?

I referenced struggles I have/had trying to alter my ingrained subconscious mindset that made it difficult for me to settle, enjoy things, fully invest myself for fear of having it all taken away. I'm not sure what you're asking.

[Boghead ranter]

12 minutes ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said:

We need to give poverty the heave-ho. It’s a political choice not to. 

Amen, brother. 

[Sweet Pete]

12 minutes ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said:

The idea of being ‘on edge’ a lot is linked to what is known as toxic stress. As Pete identifies, it has connotations for fight/flight/freeze. Ever met someone who ‘goes from 0-100’ in terms of aggression? That’s often about toxic stress (and alcohol makes it more apparent). Anyway, the impact of raising kids in such circumstances has lifelong consequences. I’d recommend this video for starters:

Too long didn’t watch? Adverse experiences in childhood (most of which are disproportionately experienced in communities like the one shown in that horrible video) are linked to poor health outcomes including increased strokes, heart attacks etc. And no, it’s not because people from marginalised backgrounds drink or smoke more.

We need to give poverty the heave-ho. It’s a political choice not to. 

100% this. It's another thing referenced in the Glasgow Effect study I.E why even leaving the area and / or changing income bracket does not escape people from the shortened lifespan of their lineage. Because toxic stress will damn sure kill you even when you're out of harm's way. Also things like never fully embracing improved diet due to an ingrained distrust of unknown foods and attraction to crap.

[throbber]

1 minute ago, Sweet Pete said:

In what context?

I referenced struggles I have/had trying to alter my ingrained subconscious mindset that made it difficult for me to settle, enjoy things, fully invest myself for fear of having it all taken away. I'm not sure what you're asking.

I’m not meaning anything too personal I just want to know what equates as a middle class lifestyle in your opinion. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 minute ago, throbber said:

I’m not meaning anything too personal I just want to know what equates as a middle class lifestyle in your opinion. 

If I'm reading it correctly he means not living in a tip surrounded by fucking loonies.

[throbber]

1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

If I'm reading it correctly he means not living in a tip surrounded by fucking loonies.

Yeah I just rarely see people describe their lifestyles in such a way and wanted a bit of clarity. 

[Sweet Pete]

2 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

If I'm reading it correctly he means not living in a tip surrounded by fucking loonies.

Basically this, yeah. I still own a flat in a tip surrounded by loonies, but don't stay there. It's basically excess jacket storage at the minute. Plan is to put a tenant in it.

[Sweet Pete]

1 minute ago, throbber said:

Yeah I just rarely see people describe their lifestyles in such a way and wanted a bit of clarity. 

It was used as shorthand and for comparative purposes to the situation I was describing. Wasn't expecting it to be dissected.

[Sweet Pete]

In terms of what actually constitutes a middle class lifestyle, it's obviously Vienetta and pampus grass.

[Shandon Par]

7 hours ago, Sweet Pete said:

, I didn't realise until relatively recently that it's not "normal" to be on edge all the time,

Things appearing normal really does perpetuate problems. Booze is involved in 40-50% of violent crime (including murder) and despite the odd health-related token gesture about how we should drink left it’s simply not treated as a serious problem and seen as a normal part of life here.

Smoking, drugs, violence, walking out on your kids. If it appears normal to you from a young age it will be a normal part of adulthood. 

 

[Sergeant Wilson]

7 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

It was used as shorthand and for comparative purposes to the situation I was describing. Wasn't expecting it to be dissected.

The class system is much more fluid and nuanced now. There's people on council estates with middle class lifestyles. Unfortunately, we have several levels below that now, the bottom rung is lower than it was when I was younger. It's a shock to the system to see it up close.

Edited April 19, 2021 by Sergeant Wilson

[Sweet Pete]

1 minute ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

The class system is much more fluid and nuanced now. There's people on council estates with middle class lifestyles. Unfortunately, we have several levels below that now, the bottom rung us lower than it was when I was younger. It's a shock to the system to see it up close.

Absolutely. The old 3 to 5 class tiers notion is outdated. And I agree about seeing the bottom rung up close. Between my own background, my professional life and some volunteer work I did with a soup kitchen, I've had plenty insight into the sub, sub-working class. Never ceases to be harrowing.

[Sweet Pete]

4 minutes ago, Pato said:

Again with Darren McGarvey but he's done some good explanations on what is perceived as middle class to someone who was not brought up middle class.

Whole thing is worth a watch but from here he goes through it, it's quite interesting if you're someone who has taken most of this for granted from your childhood:

 

I was convinced owning a knife block was the sign of being middle class.

[Sweet Pete]

1 minute ago, Pato said:

Absolutely, kitchen footprint of that means you have more worktop than most

Only the common folk keep their knives in a drawer. Need to show them off. Pans / utensils hanging from a hook as well. That's the mark of success in life.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 minute ago, Sweet Pete said:

Only the common folk keep their knives in a drawer. Need to show them off. Pans / utensils hanging from a hook as well. That's the mark of success in life.

Keeping them under your pillow is a sign things haven't gone as well as they might.

[DiegoDiego]

Andre The Giant

His Wikipedia page is one of my favourites, the man could drink. He was also driven to school as a child in rural France by Nobel* prize winner Samuel Beckett, with whom he spent much time discussing cricket.

*bonus trivia: Alfred Nobel used to live in Falkirk.

[GordonD]

43 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

Only the common folk keep their knives in a drawer. Need to show them off. Pans / utensils hanging from a hook as well. That's the mark of success in life.

If you keep your knives in a drawer it's less obvious there's one missing when the police are searching for the murder weapon.