Shandon Par Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 48 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Think it was meant for me tbh. Anyway, spent most of the drive from dundee to Musselburgh this morning trying to explain why the sun and the moon were in the sky at the same time. ”but the moon only comes out at night doesn’t it? What about countries where it doesn’t come out at night? Must be pitch black for them”. Seriously considered careering off the Queensferry Crossing. Are our wives related? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 1 hour ago, HenryHill said: For that kind of mush 'f**k you' should have been your original response. She don’t love me. She just love the LD. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 41 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Are our wives related? They’re all related imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 Mrs can’t drive just now due to a broken right foot. Her left foot is fine. She asked if we can get a left hand drive car as she’d be able to drive it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzydunlop Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 watching the news at the weekend. Bit came on about the Cardiff player plane crash and the pilot being unlicenced to fly at night. Despite the fact that 5 seconds previous the news guy had said both the passneger and pilot had died in the crash my missues still said: "he'll got to jail for that" Don't think my response of "that will be quite difficult with him being bottom of the f*cking ocean" went down well 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 1 minute ago, fuzzydunlop said: watching the news at the weekend. Bit came on about the Cardiff player plane crash and the pilot being unlicenced to fly at night. Despite the fact that 5 seconds previous the news guy had said both the passneger and pilot had died in the crash my missues still said: "he'll got to jail for that" Don't think my response of "that will be quite difficult with him being bottom of the f*cking ocean" went down well That will be the new post-Brexit zero tolerance approach to crime. Dredge him up and lock him, send him home, teach him some respect etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 That will be the new post-Brexit zero tolerance approach to crime. Dredge him up and lock him, send him home, teach him some respect etc.You forgot to get angry that our taxes are paying for this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 Just now, Moomintroll said: 35 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: That will be the new post-Brexit zero tolerance approach to crime. Dredge him up and lock him, send him home, teach him some respect etc. You forgot to get angry that our taxes are paying for this. I just don't have the zeal or the intolerance to be a Brexiteer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 I just don't have the zeal or the intolerance to be a Brexiteer. Thats the spirit, or, not, as the case may be. In conclusion, meh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 3 minutes ago, Moomintroll said: 5 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: I just don't have the zeal or the intolerance to be a Brexiteer. Thats the spirit, or, not, as the case may be. In conclusion, meh. The only thing that got me out protesting on the streets was when Jim Leishman got replaced as Pars manager by Iain Munro. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 The only thing that got me out protesting on the streets was when Jim Leishman got replaced as Pars manager by Iain Munro. That prostethic 'i' will do that every time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 On 08/03/2019 at 20:52, Deanburn Dave said: Lassie at work said "did you know that only girl cows have udders". My wife genuinely cannot tell the difference between a cow's udders and a bull's member from a short to medium distance away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 My missus read an entire four page “paper” in a radiology journal about “intestinal calcified arachnids”, complete with photoshopped spiders in the intestine, and references of authors like “L. O’Ser” and “R. Astley”, before she clicked on a link on the page which led her to the Rick Astley video, before she realised it was a wind up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skerla Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 6 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Mrs can’t drive just now due to a broken right foot. Her left foot is fine. She asked if we can get a left hand drive car as she’d be able to drive it. April fools was yesterday m8 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pleslie99 Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 My wife put the teletubbies on for the wee one. She then turned to me and said:"Are they called teletubbies because they have TVs in their tummys" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 12 minutes ago, pleslie99 said: My wife put the teletubbies on for the wee one. She then turned to me and said: "Are they called teletubbies because they have TVs in their tummys" Makes as much sense as anything else. Chubbies on the telly? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post coprolite Posted April 5, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 5, 2019 We have a weekly email quiz at my work. One question was "what country is the football team Getafe from?" Colleague (female) put Iraq. "because of colonel Gadaffi" She is entitled to a vote. 36 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 I genuinely laugh loud as f**k 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pj_puttz Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 Young lady at work today: Her: "I seen two swans down the park the other day, well they were ducks but ducks turn into swans don't they?" Me: "That's The Ugly Duckling you're thinking of." Her: "So what are baby swans called then?" Me: "Cygnets." Her: *gives me a look where she thinks I must be taking the piss then turns away* I'm fairly certain she still believes that ducks turn into swans. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 A dinosaur programme was just on tv..... “How do we know it was called T Rex?”. I raise an eyebrow. ”You know.. how do we know that people back then called it T Rex?”. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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