Dindeleux Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 There's a tedious woman on mine who gets kept on for the inevitable and entertaining car crash status updates, however I have decided to block her posts from 'HIPS AND CURVES NOT SKIN AND BONE!' (should be renamed 'Fat people pretending they are normal') and 'f**k Relationships, I'm Single' (should be renamed 'Desperate but impossible to love'). What town from? I know a similar lady from Irvine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanky_ffc Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Fat birds posting that Marilyn Monroe picture to make themselves feel better about being overweight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtydave Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 I've decided, after much consideration, that I'm going to use this thread as a platform to share my flatmate's Facebook updates. The lad is harmless, but by f**k, he is the most utterly mindnumbingly boring person I've ever met and it really shows in his Facebook status'. I took the liberty of posting a screenshot of one on Twitter yesterday and it garnered an impressive 4 RT's and 13 favourites, so I feel there is a demand for this sort of thing. There are a few parodies kicking about like 'Boring James Milner' but this is different because it's actually real and he actually is that dull. Here's a few of his previous highlights: {style_image_url}/attachicon.gif jordo.jpg {style_image_url}/attachicon.gif jordo 2.PNG {style_image_url}/attachicon.gif jordo 3.PNG {style_image_url}/attachicon.gif jordo 4.PNG {style_image_url}/attachicon.gif jordo 5.PNG 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) Only a week or so until people start with the usual new year bollocks... Omg put on so much weight going to hit the gym 45 times a day....just spent£1000 on a membership. ....two days later, just injured myself at the gym, anyone fancy getting wasted? Facepalm, just eat less and move around more and leave people out of your idiotic bipolar fitness regimes Edited December 26, 2013 by DAFC 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Stop inviting me to Lucky Bingo or I might actually kill you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superwell87 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 I seen "364 days till x-mas" appear on my newsfeed today 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growl3th Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 I seen "364 days till x-mas" appear on my newsfeed today I got 365 sleeps yesterday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdgarusQPFC Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 When they upload shite photos of themselves out on the lash, half the time the picture will be so blurry you can't tell it's them. Referring to drinking wine to "opening the vino" Anything to do with Christmas 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrfields_Largs Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 People that tell you what's on the TV, or even worse, don't tell you what's on. "ITV3 now if you want a laugh", "great film on BBC2 right now" etc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) Referring to drinking wine to "opening the vino" 'vino', 'ma girlies' and 'whoop whoop' in the same sentence are generally facepalm-inducing status updates and appear far too regularly on my feed. Edited December 27, 2013 by Nutz_the_Squirrel 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtydave Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 A lot of folk 'checking in' at graveyards or crematoriums on Xmas day on my feed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growl3th Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 When they upload shite photos of themselves out on the lash, half the time the picture will be so blurry you can't tell it's them. Referring to drinking wine to "opening the vino" Anything to do with Christmas Blurry pics!!! there are no excuses for posting them EVER!!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMMjag Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 'People these days but' What? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 A guy posted on FB saying he was speaking to an old female friend and the conversation went too far and he's sorry that he's fucked up his present relationship. Girlfriend replied, too far? He had his dick out and not for the first time. It's not going well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Not put up an actual five for a while. Revised anger list. 1. Muppets posting up screenshots of coupon wins, saying "thank you Mr Coral". f**k off, because firstly you've failed to post up the much higher number of coupon fails you've pished away a fortune on, and secondly because I haven't won one for fucking ages. c***s. 2. "God bless our brave troops" posters. One of my former colleagues has started posting this shite up, and when i replied to some of her pish about Marine A, she simply recycled a load of Sun newspaper cliches. Get to f**k. 3. Local Old Firm fans. Celtic's hilarious exit from europe resulted in one sevco fan from Kirriemuir posting up a pishy status about it, which turned into a clusterfuck of exclamation marks, lols and included the usual subjects of child abuse, Big Jock Knew, Ian Durrant's knee and anti-catholic bollocks. I genuinely despise this people. However, I'll keep them on FB as it will be very amusing when Sevco die. 4. Use of the phrases "A cheeky wee vino" and "Don't mind if I do". These are always posted by incredibly boring single people who are essentially admitting to being so bored that they're drinking at home alone. Basically jakeys with central heating. 5. People who are somehow unable to use the word "with" and replace it with "wiv". Seriously, are you too fucking lazy to type ONE additional letter? Fucking 'tards. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The OP Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 What town from? I know a similar lady from Irvine. Cumbernaud. Being fat, unlovable and in denial about it could be a 'New Town' thing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtydave Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 A guy posted on FB saying he was speaking to an old female friend and the conversation went too far and he's sorry that he's fucked up his present relationship. Girlfriend replied, too far? He had his dick out and not for the first time. It's not going well. Keep us updated on that one 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 5. People who are somehow unable to use the word "with" and replace it with "wiv". Seriously, are you too fucking lazy to type ONE additional letter? Fucking 'tards. or 'ov' instead of 'of'. I think they think it makes them modern and street. If that's a modern and street thing to say. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Keep us updated on that one Posts deleted, all gone quite. Disappointing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Quality ink just showed up on my Facebook. Fucking hell! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.