Depression

[Snobot]

1 hour ago, Thereisalight.. said:

If she had a new guy within a few months it wouldn’t have hurt me as much, it still would have hurt as I truly believe she was “the one”, but it was a few WEEKS, just made me think that I was easily replaceable and that the years we spent together couldn’t have meant much if she was able to move on to someone new so quickly. 

Almost 18 years ago I met a girl and we clicked, she ditched her boyfriend and things moved at whirlwind pace and within a few weeks I thought “this is it”. I vividly remember the revelation while smoking a cigarette out of the bedroom window (ex smoker, seems weird now!) that I’d met “the one” and I was head over heels.

Fast forward another 4 weeks and she dropped me like a stone. It absolutely destroyed me, trying to understand how she could have gone from declaring her undying love to deleting me from her life. It took me at least 6 months to even begin to process it. What I know now is she very definitely wasn’t “the one”. She was a selfish manipulative arsehole. 

I went through another longer term relationship which ended badly (bought a flat together etc) but ultimately it made me realise you need to trust yourself and your instincts  - I tried to get out of that one several times after about 2 years together but still ended up buying a flat and all that stuff because you think you are doing the right thing.

I eventually had the courage of my convictions to get out of what was pretty much an abusive relationship (on the psychological level) after another couple of years and am in a good place now with a family and someone who genuinely is “the one”.  I remember weighing up the pros and cons of ending the previous relationship and it was terrifying at the time but thank goodness I did. 
 

Trust yourself. Nice people often get trampled by selfish twats but things will work out in the end. Stay strong and true to yourself.
 

 

[Silverton End]

2 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

 Cheers fella. I’m glad I’m still able to go my walk. If I didn’t have that, I’d have even more time to brood about her and my Dads passing, and now no work. Getting up at a set time I see my problem! I usually wake at 8.30 then decide to fall back asleep until midday at the earliest. I have nothing to get up early for now. I’ll certainly need the sun cream, pale and pasty I’ve been known to burn in Feb

Just try & get yourself up when you wake around 8.30, I honestly know that can be hard when you are feeling low, but a routine can be a big help.

I've had depression 25 years, some days I don't want to get up, but I make myself get up, then other days I'm manic, up early, out with dog, washing on, vacuuming, cooking etc, routine is key, as hard as it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Thereisalight..]

4 minutes ago, Snobot said:

Almost 18 years ago I met a girl and we clicked, she ditched her boyfriend and things moved at whirlwind pace and within a few weeks I thought “this is it”. I vividly remember the revelation while smoking a cigarette out of the bedroom window (ex smoker, seems weird now!) that I’d met “the one” and I was head over heels.

Fast forward another 4 weeks and she dropped me like a stone. It absolutely destroyed me, trying to understand how she could have gone from declaring her undying love to deleting me from her life. It took me at least 6 months to even begin to process it. What I know now is she very definitely wasn’t “the one”. She was a selfish manipulative arsehole. 

I went through another longer term relationship which ended badly (bought a flat together etc) but ultimately it made me realise you need to trust yourself and your instincts  - I tried to get out of that one several times after about 2 years together but still ended up buying a flat and all that stuff because you think you are doing the right thing.

I eventually had the courage of my convictions to get out of what was pretty much an abusive relationship (on the psychological level) after another couple of years and am in a good place now with a family and someone who genuinely is “the one”.  I remember weighing up the pros and cons of ending the previous relationship and it was terrifying at the time but thank goodness I did. 
 

Trust yourself. Nice people often get trampled by selfish twats but things will work out in the end. Stay strong and true to yourself.
 

 

Yip mate that’s exactly it, it’s hard to process one minute she’s declaring undying love and the next you’re dropped and deleted. I’m “glad” that someone else took months to process it as we’ll. it’s  not an easy thing at all, especially after years together

sounds like you had two horrors. Glad you got you’re happy ending! I’ve had 3 relationships, two cheated and the latest one was a headfuck. Makes me wonder if being a nice guy is actually a curse! 

[Thereisalight..]

2 minutes ago, Silverton End said:

Just try & get yourself up when you wake around 8.30, I honestly know that can be hard when you are feeling low, but a routine can be a big help.

I've had depression 25 years, some days I don't want to get up, but I make myself get up, then other days I'm manic, up early, out with dog, washing on, vacuuming, cooking etc, routine is key, as hard as it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wakening yo and staying awake at 8.30 would maybe be feasible, but I can never get to sleep until about 2am, even when I wake early and get to bed early I still lie awake until then. Sorry to hear you’ve had to suffer it for so long! I’ve had it on and now off since I was 16 so about 18 years for me. This has been the worst spell of it though

[Snobot]

3 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Makes me wonder if being a nice guy is actually a curse! 

Nah, I genuinely believe you’ll just meet a nice person who matches you in the end. 

[Thereisalight..]

49 minutes ago, Snobot said:

Nah, I genuinely believe you’ll just meet a nice person who matches you in the end. 

Thank you. I really hope so

Edited April 4, 2020 by Thereisalight..

[DA Baracus]

57 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Yip mate that’s exactly it, it’s hard to process one minute she’s declaring undying love and the next you’re dropped and deleted. I’m “glad” that someone else took months to process it as we’ll. it’s  not an easy thing at all, especially after years together

sounds like you had two horrors. Glad you got you’re happy ending! I’ve had 3 relationships, two cheated and the latest one was a headfuck. Makes me wonder if being a nice guy is actually a curse! 

It really isn't, and thinking that is a touch narcissistic.

Don't take that as an insult or a slagging; I don't mean it to.

[Thereisalight..]

5 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

It really isn't, and thinking that is a touch narcissistic.

Don't take that as an insult or a slagging; I don't mean it to.

I said it in jest. I’m too much of an empath to be a narc. Although I’d trade my empathy in to be a narc I reckon

Edited April 4, 2020 by Thereisalight..

[DA Baracus]

2 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I said it in jest. I’m too much of an empath to be a narc. Although I’d trade my empathy in to be a narc I reckon

Ha, seems like it might be a good trade sometimes but I'd personally hate that.

[Raidernation]

Severe mood swings going on here with me at the moment and I hate it

[Venti]

Don't know if it's OK to post on this thread.

Don't have depression, but super low right now.

[Jacksgranda]

You don't need to have depression to post here, afaik.

[Venti]

6 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

You don't need to have depression to post here, afaik.

Thanks.

Not just the coronavirus. Got sevcoed & worrying about my family.

All round shitfest.

[D.A.F.C]

Please share as much as you are comfortable with, there’s some really good people on this forum who will try to help.

[Venti]

6 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Please share as much as you are comfortable with, there’s some really good people on this forum who will try to help.

Thanks mate.

Just feel that more folk have worse stuff going on.

[Rugster]

4 minutes ago, Slenderman said:

Thanks mate.

Just feel that more folk have worse stuff going on.

Everything is relative mate. 

[Raidernation]

Thanks mate.
Just feel that more folk have worse stuff going on.

Doesn’t matter, if it’s bothering you then it’s important!

[Thereisalight..]

I’ve been having  few bad days, to go with a few bad months. Been really teary, missing my Dad and knowing my love of football won’t ever be the same again without him to chat to about it. It’s my birthday soon and my first without him, and I keep thinking back to previous birthdays my ex and I spent together. I’m missing her too, despite her being a bitch. I’m also anxious about my Mum passing away, as when she goes I’ll have nobody to live for. Depression and anxiety together is terrible

[Shandon Par]

22 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I’ve been having  few bad days, to go with a few bad months. Been really teary, missing my Dad and knowing my love of football won’t ever be the same again without him to chat to about it. It’s my birthday soon and my first without him, and I keep thinking back to previous birthdays my ex and I spent together. I’m missing her too, despite her being a bitch. I’m also anxious about my Mum passing away, as when she goes I’ll have nobody to live for. Depression and anxiety together is terrible

Your folks are always sort of with you even when they’ve gone. Like you, football and my old man went hand in hand. So many memories following Dunfermline and pre-internet as a student he’d send me clippings from The Courier or Dunfermline Press if there was any Pars news. Even now I get the occasional dream with him in it and it’s really comforting to chat to him. 
 

Death is an unavoidable part of life and there can also be a freedom and new sense of self-worth when a parent passes on. There are maybe things they did that were important to you and you want to carry on but you may also grow to realise there were certain aspects of them that held you back too. Sorry to hear it sounds daunting for you but you’ll be okay.

[Shandon Par]

More frazzled to fek than depressed but need to just vent a wee bit to avoid taking it out on someone.

Work has been full on and distressing because of this bug that’s going around but has also grown to be quite humbling and worthwhile trying to help folk out who are in some tough situations.

It has left me pretty drained when not at work but instead of rest I’ve had my elderly mum on my case 24/7. She has really needed to be in nursing care for some time. She had been in a care home (not the same staff levels of busing care as a nursing home) but she opted to move home. She had carers but would call all day and night and ring her emergency alarm to summon paramedics over trivial stuff. She has a really nasty rare condition that is causing dementia and has cost her her mobility. 
 

Managed to get her into a home today, much to the relief of her carers and social workers. It’s the Four Seasons of nursing homes and costs the sort of money a half decent striker earns each week but immediately she was calling and texting to say it’s hell on Earth. She’ll be horrible to the staff then wonder why they’re not that nice to her. She desperately just wants to die but euthanasia isn’t an option so she has to slowly rot.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of a good pal of mine. Someone I think about fondly every day and who who was just so funny and engaging. Been really sad about that but have had the constant pressure of my mum ringing and texting. To avoid going mental at her I had to block my mum’s number, (eta - I’ll unblock it in a day or so!) just for a bit of respite from her calls and texts. I deleted a hundred voicemails from her yesterday and they were just from the last couple of weeks. In the space of a couple of hours this afternoon she’d rung about 15 times, despite texting her to ask for a bit of peace as I was back at work (having spent the day up to then helping pack and move for her). The calls are for things like if the carers have not brought her a tea within 30 seconds of her asking. 

Opened the fridge when I got in and a pot of (off) cream flew out and went all over me and the floor, then in the process of getting changed I knocked over and smashed a vase - just being clumsy though being fried. Can’t even go out for a run to clear the head as I need to walk the dog on his lead. 

This lockdown is probably making many of you feel that pent up frustration so I don’t need sympathy. Just typing this TL/DR pish has probably knocked the stress levels down a wee bit. 
 

 

Edited April 16, 2020 by Shandon Par