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Depression


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I wouldn't worry Eoin. AIDS seems terrible at first but you get used to it. I barely even notice it any more. Sure they itch a bit but you quickly find the best ways to deal with it.

If it wasn't for the compulsory AIDS! tattoo on my left wrist I'd often forget I even had it

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Thankfully I've never needed to post on this thread but can appreciate why others do, as maybe it helps them talking with others who are/have gone through similar things and can offer advice.

It could be argued an internet forum isn't the place to discuss such issues, but if those who want to,get some kind of help or comfort by opening up on here, then that can only be good for them

So, having said that,why don't the fuds who've come on here trying to turn it into an excuse to crack jokes, puns and generally mock others who have this illness, just f**k off and grow up

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Also if your doctor says he has to remove his trousers because he's too hot then don't believe him. I mean yes, it might be quite hot but most likely that's not why he's taking his trousers off. He's doing that for more molestation based reasons.

As others have said, phone the cuntos and demand an answer, in this life or the next.

That's what the eponymous Gladiator from Gladiator would do. He'd always be adding on "in this life or the next!". He'd phone a call centre and demand to speak to a supervisor "in this life or the next!". He'd promise his wife he'd take her this weekend "in this life or the next!". He'd tell himself that he'd finally get round to watching that box set of Mad Men "in this life or the next!".

He'd be very tiresome to live with basically. It's why we never worked out. I couldn't take it any more. That and I hate sandals and the c**t wore sandals all the time.

On a more serious note I need to get my arse to the doctors. I had an absolute shocker of a day yesterday that was the culmination of a few crappy days. Yesterday things literally seemed more grey, as if my eyes had a brightness setting and were turned down, and my mind was a shitty swiring vortex of foggy confusion.

Feeling much better today and actually a bit shocked at how much brighter things seem today and much more clear my thoughts are. I know though that the danger of having more shitty days is there. I could go for a nap later and wake up feeling gash. I could feel really good for a few days then suddenly wake up at 3pm confused and feeling pish and lethargic.

Edited by DA Baracus
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Thought I might give an update since it's been a while.

This time last year I was defeated, morbidly obese and struggling for motivation, applied for a job which I got. Since then I've done the following.

Finished an abusive relationship which left me mentally weak

Lost 3 stone in weight

Started my new job

Began saving again towards a mortgage

It's been a long year, but I feel better then I ever have, I do feel down at times, but to me it's more if I've had a long day or been ill.

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Have you been seeing your Doctor recently or did he contact you?

Contacted me mate.

Thankfully I've never needed to post on this thread but can appreciate why others do, as maybe it helps them talking with others who are/have gone through similar things and can offer advice.

It could be argued an internet forum isn't the place to discuss such issues, but if those who want to,get some kind of help or comfort by opening up on here, then that can only be good for them

So, having said that,why don't the fuds who've come on here trying to turn it into an excuse to crack jokes, puns and generally mock others who have this illness, just f**k off and grow up

Agreed mate. The idiot posters on here will try to make everything turning into a joke or a pun.

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Does anyone know what is best for motivation? It might just be me being lazy or whatever but I can't work it out.

I worked a five week temp job between June and August there, in order to get some money to go abroad and see friends for a week or two. So come payday and the money is in, great I say, I'll book the flights and go. I am ridiculous at saving money, like, the utter worst c**t.

The short of it all is that I've spent a grand in 14 days on drink and a wee bit of clothes, I honestly don't know what I spent the rest on. Now I'm sat here raging with myself because I'm sat here when I should be out seeing friends for the first time in a year and having a good time. Instead I'm thinking am I an alcoholic? (I reckon at least £400 been spent on alcohol) Because if I have money, I will go and sit in a pub all day by myself and consider it a eventful one if one of the regulars or the barman strikes up a conversation whilst firing money on horses in the bookie next door.

I just don't know. I have thoughts of what I want to do in future life etc, but I just don't have the motivation to do it, even though I do want to do it, if that makes sense.

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Sounds like you have compulsive behaviour issues. Do you just get a feeling in your head and you just sort of click and before you know it you've spent shitloads and feel crap because of it?

Mental health issues can basically short circuit your critical and logical thinking. You know it's a bad idea but you feel compelled to do it. Do you justify it to youself, make promises that "it'll be just this once" that turns into "I'll sort it out tomorrow"which turns into "I'll sort it out next week" and before you know it you're in trouble which just makes you feel worse?

I'm talking from experience here. I spunked thousands away on compulsions and got into masses of debt doing so. I still struggle with it.

It's obvious that you're using drinking and spending as a crutch, as I do with my 'vices'.

I know how you feel about wanting something but lacking motivation as well. I think it's more a confidence thing and feeling that until you sort out your issues you can't move forward. It's also that depression fucks your thinking, making you think irrational things and often acting on them.

Depression kicks the ladder out from under you when you'te trying to climb towards your goals.

Don't let your issues fester. They'll eat at you, will get worse and will destroy you. Get some help as soon as you can. Get to thr doctor on Monday if possible. I know it might not be easy, but you need to do it. It's tough but you can get 'better'. By sharing on here you've already showed a willingness to get better. You've proven that you have the courage to be brutally honest and acknowledge your issues. If you take the first step of going to your GP you'll feel better. You'll still have the issues, you'll still have compulsions, you'll still feel shit, but you'll feel better because you'll have taken the first step.

Once you've done that things will improve, maybe slowly, maybe quickly. You won't know unless you do it. Things won't change unless you make the first step.

Edited by DA Baracus
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Sounds like you have compulsive behaviour issues. Do you just get a feeling in your head and you just sort of click and before you know it you've spent shitloads and feel crap because of it?

Mental health issues can basically short circuit your critical and logical thinking. You know it's a bad idea but you feel compelled to do it. Do you justify it to youself, make promises that "it'll be just this once" that turns into "I'll sort it out tomorrow"which turns into "I'll sort it out next week" and before you know it you're in trouble which just makes you feel worse?

I'm talking from experience here. I spunked thousands away on compulsions and got into masses of debt doing so. I still struggle with it.

It's obvious that you're using drinking and spending as a crutch, as I do with my 'vices'.

I know how you feel about wanting something but lacking motivation as well. I think it's more a confidence thing and feeling that until you sort out your issues you can't move forward. It's also that depression fucks your thinking, making you think irrational things and often acting on them.

Depression kicks the ladder out from under you when you'te trying to climb towards your goals.

Don't let your issues fester. They'll eat at you, will get worse and will destroy you. Get some help as soon as you can. Get to thr doctor on Monday if possible. I know it might not be easy, but you need to do it. It's tough but you can get 'better'. By sharing on here you've already showed a willingness to get better. You've proven that you have the courage to be brutally honest and acknowledge your issues. If you take the first step of going to your GP you'll feel better. You'll still have the issues, you'll still have compulsions, you'll still feel shit, but you'll feel better because you'll have taken the first step.

Once you've done that things will improve, maybe slowly, maybe quickly. You won't know unless you do it. Things won't change unless you make the first step.

Yeah, I can't just go to the pub in the afternoon, have one or two pint then go up the road, when i get the taste for it then that's me until I'm rat arsed. But if I don't go out and put myself in that frame of mind, I'm fine.

Where I live sort of effects it as well i think. I'm a 30 minute walk to the nearest shop, nearest cashline, nearest bookies, nearest pub etc. I don't drive so I don't really leave the house unless it's pre-planned.

I'm far too easily swayed, that's 100% true. Doesn't take much convincing to refuse a bevvy session with mates even though I know I shouldn't (missed a couple of days work due to this).

I need a kick up the arse.

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Trying to mate. Just worried.

Playing my first game of the season tomorrow so that will take my mind off it for a few hours.

Lets hope you perform better than Hibs.....

Only joking mate....you'll get through this :)

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