heedthebaa Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 At my place of work, if you go upstairs to say you're leaving, you're immediately escorted to your tools, then escorted off site. You get what you're entitled, so not all bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mak Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 At my place of work, if you go upstairs to say you're leaving, you're immediately escorted to your tools, then escorted off site. You get what you're entitled, so not all bad Ok. Sent from my GT-I9505 using Pie & Bovril mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francesc Fabregas Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I've done it before. I was working in a call centre offering customer service for AXA Guaranteed Over 50 plans (the ones advertised by Michael Parkinson) before returning to University. On my final day I sent round a "hilarious and irreverent" email to everyone in the building telling them that while I would miss working with them, I would not miss the "bigoted old salts" that we had to deal with on a daily basis (it went into far more detail than that and ran over several paragraphs but alas, I do not remember the details). A couple of seconds after sending the e-mail around, there were a few gasps, a few chuckles and then an anxious look as my line manager whisked me into a meeting room to berate me. I was expecting something like Dead Poet's Society as I was led away but no such support was forthcoming. I also had to apologise to the office manager like a grovelling lick-spittle. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Do what Alan patridge did. Lock them all in then leave via a fire escape. f**k emailing them. Alan Partridge didn't leave via the fire escape, the staff did. Alan's exit from the Peartree Productions office was not broadcast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkfish Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 i leave my job on friday. just gave the boring - enjoyed working with you all, will be out for drinks at this place at this time. feel free to join. you never know when your going to bump into these people again to best to let the shiteheads go. having said that it has given me the freedom to become a right sleaze with my boss who is now snap chatting me dirty pics. its a stick on shes gettin the travel lodge treatment on the leavin night Is she aye? Ps sending a group goodbye email is w**k. Say goodbye to people individually or don't bother. Unless you use the email for mugging off purposes, in which case fire on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Boring reply here but my advice is never to burn your bridges. Never know where your future career will take you! Yeah there's zero chance that I'll burn any bridges - my sector is pretty small and chance are I'll be working with the same people again in the future. I will probably send a really generic 'I'm leaving, night out in this pub thanks bye' to everyone and then send a thank you email to the people I've worked with closely for a few years, because I consider them my friends. I had to tell one of my colleagues and I thought she was going to start crying She didn't though, so I'll hold off standing up the Robbie Williams-leaving-Take-That freephone helplines just yet. Is she aye? Ps sending a group goodbye email is w**k. Say goodbye to people individually or don't bother. Unless you use the email for mugging off purposes, in which case fire on. I don't really know what mugging off means but I can't really say goodbye to people individually, I work in a big company. When I was walking from the canteen to my desk the other day I said morning or hello to at least ten people. If I went round everyone's desk saying bye it would be absolutely awful. My teeth are p***kling even thinking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francesc Fabregas Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Yeah there's zero chance that I'll burn any bridges - my sector is pretty small and chance are I'll be working with the same people again in the future. I will probably send a really generic 'I'm leaving, night out in this pub thanks bye' to everyone and then send a thank you email to the people I've worked with closely for a few years, because I consider them my friends. I had to tell one of my colleagues and I thought she was going to start crying She didn't though That's disappointing, ICTChris, I was hoping for something hilarious and irreverent from you. If you sent me a generic leaving e-mail, I'd smother you with a pillow then make my escape by throwing a drinking fountain out of the window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 That's disappointing, ICTChris, I was hoping for something hilarious and irreverent from you. If you sent me a generic leaving e-mail, I'd smother you with a pillow then make my escape by throwing a drinking fountain out of the window. Don't start a farewell to work email one-upmanship contest with me, I'll end up going on a killing spree just to win. Anyway, going about what you said above you got a bollocking for slagging off the elderly and didn't even tell your boss to stick his job up his fat arse AND that was a shitty stop-gap job - I have an actual grown up career to think about, a mortgage and all that. Any disappointment you feel in me is magnified tenfold by that I feel in you for that frankly limp end to your career in supplying carriage clocks to the elderly in exchange for insurance premiums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I've just handed my notice in at work and will be leaving in a few weeks. This brings me to my farewell email, which is now considered as traditional as going out and getting bevvied up after you've left. Quite a few people have left my work in the last few years, lots of whom had more time in the company than me, so their emails were often very long and heartfelt. I want to make mine stand out so for assistance I'm turning to P&B. Any suggestions, stories, anecdotes about hilarious or awful cheerio emails? Every workplace has a legend about people naming and shaming the co-workers they slept with behind spouses backs or giving it the big FU to bosses - I won't be doing that (I like my bosses and the list of co-workers I have slept with would make a pretty sparse email). I might make it like a P&B tear stained resignation thread, that would be good, albeit niche. I know a few of my comrades in arms read this site so they will get the joke. Just be a Victor and piss off without a peep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Just copy and paste a picture of a tiger from the internet. Everybody likes tigers. Maybe write "bye" or "all the best" above it, if you want to be conventional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiwiDB Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 At my place of work, if you go upstairs to say you're leaving, you're immediately escorted to your tools, then escorted off site. You get what you're entitled, so not all bad I was escorted from the building in my last job and never even got a chance to say goodbye to anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I sent one when I left the only job I have left, but it was similar to ICT Chris in that there were hundreds of people working there and I couldn't go round everyone. Plus I had worked there for 13 years so also considered many of them friends. Having said that I painstakingly typed everyone's name in rather than send it to group.all.users or whatever the generic group was so that I could purposely miss a few people off who were absolute c*nts, and ended the email with "If you're seeing this on someone else's computer or had it forwarded to you, and haven't been included on the original, then I've either accidentally forgotten to add you for which I apologise, or I don't like you very much. You work out which." Petty but gave me a small sense of satisfaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Yeah there's zero chance that I'll burn any bridges - my sector is pretty small and chance are I'll be working with the same people again in the future. I will probably send a really generic 'I'm leaving, night out in this pub thanks bye' to everyone and then send a thank you email to the people I've worked with closely for a few years, because I consider them my friends. I had to tell one of my colleagues and I thought she was going to start crying She didn't though, so I'll hold off standing up the Robbie Williams-leaving-Take-That freephone helplines just yet. I don't really know what mugging off means but I can't really say goodbye to people individually, I work in a big company. When I was walking from the canteen to my desk the other day I said morning or hello to at least ten people. If I went round everyone's desk saying bye it would be absolutely awful. My teeth are p***kling even thinking about it. If you've got a canteen, just walk into the middle of the hall and tap a fork against the glass water / juice jug (the internationally accepted standard noise for 'shut up, speech imminent") You can then tell most people at once plus you'll look really cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I was told a story about a guy who was forced into retirement and stood up at his leaving doo and announced that he was going to publish his memoirs about his time on the job, but on lawyers advice had to pull out as he was told that you need evidence before calling someone a b*****d. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 Sent a note out to my immediate team letting them know I'm going Hi, For those of you who don’t already know or I didn’t tell when I was pished on the night out on Friday (ie anyone on the night out) I’ve handed my notice in and will be leaving Company A for a job in Company B. We don’t need to stand up the ‘Robbie-Williams-Has-Left-Take-That-And-I-Can’t-Go-On’ style helplines just yet as my last day isn’t until the 16th of August. Until that point I’ll be turning up for work half pished and not caring, so business as usual. Just wanted to let ppl in the team and around our area know. Thanks Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 A previous colleague set his out of office to "Cheerio, have gone to work in the circus with some real clowns" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoopy1967 Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Have a shite in a bowl and in your email say that you've left a cake in the fridge for your intimidate team Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisGRAEME Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Wait, your name isn't ICTChris, but just 'Chris' ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 Wait, your name isn't ICTChris, but just 'Chris' ? You are wasted here. Get your arse to GCHQ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Had a few of these in the last few years but only really made a proper effort with the ones I was employed with for a few years. I used to work for Intelligent Finance in Rosyth (for my sins) and had been p1ssed off with the way they had treated me as I was vying for promotion but due to restructure it wasnt going to happen. I had typed up a lenghy, witty and insightful email and sent it round most of the people I knew including a few managers and for reasons best known to myself the call centre manager... A few seconds later after a few giggles from my mates and a few "quality" "brillant" replies a manager came up and asked me to immediately recall the email which I took my time in doing to make sure everyone got to read it so I couldnt. After which I was prompted escorted off the building 3 hours before the end of my shift leaving my then mate without his lift home (he told me to send it earlier) Cant remember all of the email but think it may have been the ending they took exception in Ive heard rumour that Intelligent Finance is now rebranding its corporate tagline from "until money grows on trees" and now changed it to "until you know better" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisGRAEME Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 You are wasted here. Get your arse to GCHQ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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