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Facts you made up


Mak

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On a not related at all incident my great uncle Wolfgang got slapped with a healthy fine from the ultra PC health & safety folk for having a pallet of 1973 Irn Bru in his shop in Pencuik back in the late 80's after emigrating here from Berlin.

He never liked to talk of his time during the cold war, but he once told me when he was pished that he was an official of the state back in E Germany & he always liked a bit of a square go.

Sadly he died not long after, the coroner said it was his liver but I think it had something to do with that can of Irn Bru he supped trying to prove a point to the H&S wallah, guess we'll never find out now?

Grimbo

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P&B webmaster div, used be a woman called Davina. He used to run a lingerie shop in Paisley town centre until a chap and fellow buddie called Reynard persuaded "him"'to sell up, and spend the money on a full set and An Adam's apple.

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According to an ancient by-law passed in 1976, anyone caught with a red motorcycle in Montrose was to be burned at the stake as a witch. As a result Evel Knieval's World Tours included appearances in St Vigeans, Friockheim, Tannadice but never Montrose.

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If current rates of weathering remain steady, Scotland will have two less Munros to climb from 2070 onwards. Had William Wallace climbed Foinaven and Beinn Dearg (Torridon), they would both have been over the 3000ft threshold at the time.

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Despite his cringeworthy attempts at humour on Pie & Bovril, philpy is actually a successful stand up comic. His Autism & Ambulances show at the Edinburgh Festival sold out every night and one of his jokes actually came third in the top 10 Festival jokes for 2015, before being pulled because of it's racist content.

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John Craven owns Western Europe's largest collection of Victorian/Edwardian saucy postcards. He also has the only known copy in existence of the script for 'Carry On Cottaging', which was based around the antics of the staff of a council run public toilet facility - the project was shelved indefinitely after Bernard Bresslaw accidentally discharged a homemade pipe bomb he had brought into the first group read through, killing 2 members of the production team and gravely injuring Terry Scott.

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There is no known recipe for the Toffee Crisp, as its inventor, the grandson of Henri Nestlé, committed suicide after creating the first batch.

The Nestlé company has been trying for half a century to match the original taste, purely by trial and error.

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