Facts you made up

[GordonD]

8 hours ago, Fullerene said:

"Munro bagging" involves climbing to the top of mountain in Scotland that is at least 3,000 feet above sea level and then reciting a poem.

If you forget to recite a poem then the whole thing is ruled invalid and you will have to do it again.

Whereas if you climb a Corbett (a mountain between 2500 and 3000 feet*) you have to sit in a big armchair and tell a joke.

*That bit is true.

[D.A.F.C]

Schiehallion was used in a groundbreaking experiment to find the weight of the earth. Geoff Capes used it as something to grip onto and proclaimed that the earth was pretty heavy. Trigger from only fools and horses conducted the survey and invented the now standard measurement for maps called Rodney lines.

Edited October 17, 2020 by D.A.F.C

[scottmcleanscontacts]

The World's first Mariachi band was made up of Peter Pawlett, Renée Fleming, Karol Sikora, Jim Broadbent, Neil Kinnock, and Percy Thrower. They made their name touring the Social Clubs of Scotland and earned their fame with their hit single 'Fair is only Fair if it's Fair to me' featuring Sean Paul.

[buchan30]

Schiehallion was used in a groundbreaking experiment to find the weight of the earth. Geoff Capes used it as something to grip onto and proclaimed that the earth was pretty heavy. Trigger from only fools and horses conducted the survey and invented the now standard measurement for maps called Rodney lines.

He would have called them dave lines.

[BillyAnchor]

10 years after his retirement, Alan Rough sucker punched a young boy he saw wearing a Peru replica shirt in the Princes Square shopping centre.

[topcat(The most tip top)]

When asked what he’d have been if he hadn’t been a professional footballer Peter Crouch said he’d have been a Virgin trains steward.

The comment was edited to make him sound wittier

[Dan Steele]

Crampons, worn by mountaineers when ice and snow climbing, were first used by the Sherpa peoples of Tibet from as early as the 17th century. In the Sherpa language the word crampon means "stick the boot in". Up until crowds were stopped from attending football games, crampon could still occasionally be heard being shouted at some fixtures, usually derby games. Linguists fear the word might disappear completely from the rich language of football.

[Hedgecutter]

Kinlochbervie has a roundabout and set of traffic lights that were placed there simply for the benefit of learner drivers in the NW Sutherland area.

[Fullerene]

8 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Kinlochbervie has a roundabout and set of traffic lights that were placed there simply for the benefit of learner drivers in the NW Sutherland area.

Said roundabout got a mention on University Challenge.  Speciality round - most northerly roundabouts in Britain.  Balliol College Oxford failed miserably and accused their opponents from the University of the Highlands and Islands of tampering with the questions.  Simply outrageous.

[Deanburn Dave]

Ghengis Khan brought the concept of the flushable toilet from the Far East to the West hence the phrase "on the Khan".

[topcat(The most tip top)]

In the English county of Northumbria Antony Gormley’s iconic statue is referred to as “The angel of the south”

 

[Funky Nosejob]

The now ubiquitous Farrow & Ball paint colour "Elephant's Breath" was discovered when a developer's five year old daughter squashed up a brand new packet of plasticine. 

The daughter's name? Ellie Funtsbreth!

[Funky Nosejob]

Botanists have put forward proposals to address the tomato/rhubarb fruit/vegetable confusion. 
Under the new criteria, it will officially be a fruit if you would eat it with custard. 
 

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, Funky Nosejob said:

Botanists have put forward proposals to address the tomato/rhubarb fruit/vegetable confusion. 
Under the new criteria, it will officially be a fruit if you would eat it with custard. 
 

So a sponge cake is one of my five a day? Excellent.

[BillyAnchor]

The Pie and Bovril site went down for four years at the turn of the century due to some shoddy programming.

[buchan30]

The Pie and Bovril site went down for four years at the turn of the century due to a particularly bad result for St. Mirren.

 

FTFY

[topcat(The most tip top)]

The Pie and Bovril site went down for four years at the turn of the century due to some shoddy programming.

Luckily it was the 17th century so nobody noticed

[Kmeister]

Hibs always prevail when they have the advantage over their opponents.

[Ya Bezzer!]

During dark autumn nights lobsters come ashore in their thousands to steal apples.

They will often stealthily crawl up to 15 miles inland to an orchard, or even an individual apple tree, load up baskets weaved from kelp, and then drag their apple booty back to their briny lair. However due to excellent camouflage, darkness and world class concealment abilities they are rarely ever seen except by drunks who do a double take and then look at the label of the bottle they are drinking.

The individual record is 16 apples collected by an unusually large lobster from Sweden named Rasmus Lobstersson.

Crab Apples are named such because in medieval times people were stupid and didn't know the difference between a crab and a lobster.  Indeed William de Newenham wrote in 1228 'Whether the sea spiders be long with the tail of Beelzebul, or round and lacking such a tail so long as thee posses pinchy arms this creature be known as a Krabb'.

 

Edited October 31, 2020 by Ya Bezzer!

[Fullerene]

Sean Connery would have been a complete nobody if Ian Fleming had his way and got Kenneth Williams cast in the role of James Bond.