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My book "KERBY", rated 5-stars


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Got this last night and I've laughed at it all the way through so far.

Brings back how daft I was when I was younger, all the while thinking that my hair-brained schemes were genius.

Good work, deadasdillinger!

I had just clocked the Amazon review and was coming on to check who Andy C is!

Really appreciate you firing that up - reviews on there are a huge, huge help to me. Much obliged.

Glad you're enjoying it!

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Being from out in the sticks, I was quite the pyromaniac as a youngster.

My pal stayed in the arse end of nowhere and his house was surrounded by fields, coupled with his father who didn't really care what we were up to, paradise.

We conducted various scientific tests, all of which involved detonating some kind of target in a shoddily constructed small bonfire containing an aerosol can.

His father lost patience when the basket of his Flymo and then his coal bunker in succession bore the brunt of two such experiments.

There's a wee village near Lanark called Rigside which is just full of feral children, absolute hellhole. The peace was disrupted there one weekend when some of the aforementioned feral children introduced a propane gas bottle to a bonfire they had constructed which made quite the bang, cue several of the Rignam weans coming to school on the Monday with no eyebrows and singed hair.

In between starting fires other pursuits included a mass game of "cuppy", "chappy" and building tree swings.

Also enjoyed getting a chase. There were several ways of initiating it, could stage a mock beating of one of your pals outside the shop or throw a snowball at a known local headcase's window and then bolt.

There was me thinking I was quite a nice child.

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:lol: I had taken a stab at it being a boiled egg with toast 'soldiers'. But French Toast? Beastly behaviour.

I believe they also call the chippy a "chipper".

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I'll give this book a go as well, been looking for something new to read.

Thanks mate, much obliged. As I keep saying to folk who buy it - really hope you enjoy it!!

Will put Kerby on my book list.

Grimbo

Likewise, really appreciate this and hope you enjoy reading it.

EDIT: Oh, also - thanks for the review, Adam! Clocked it this morning. Great to get another positive one in the bag - it'll cushion the blow when the inevitable bad one comes in at some point!

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The really big question is what Bulldogs got renamed as in your school after it got banned? It was "Eggy" in my school. I also have a bizarre recollection of what you call "chap door run" being called Twiglets.

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British Bulldogs was 'banned' before we even got to school, so we all had no idea what it was. Every so often someone would try to get a game going and we'd all gather in the middle of the grass for a while before bitching it and going back to playing tig. :(

Battle Royale was some caper, though. Jumping around the logs of the amphitheater in the cold and rain trying our best to push everyone else onto the stones. :lol:

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I'm gonna enjoy this :lol: :lol: :lol:

Haha. The 'Hot Willy Story' seems to be garnering a lot of laughs!

The really big question is what Bulldogs got renamed as in your school after it got banned? It was "Eggy" in my school. I also have a bizarre recollection of what you call "chap door run" being called Twiglets.

Lifted directly from the book, in a section about the old games of our childhood:

British Bulldogs was as much a staple of the playground as Bench Ball was of the gym hall, and was undoubtedly a daily topic of conversation and debate within the teacher’s staff room.

One player would be chosen as the ‘bulldog’, while the others would stand in either one of the two ‘home’ zones at either end of the play area. In each round, the aim was to get from your current home zone and across to the other without being tagged by the bulldog.

Anyone who was tagged became a bulldog too, and so the winner was the last untagged person left in the game.

The reason that trouble arose – and it became such a matter of consternation for the poor teaching staff – was that any bulldog trying to tag a fellow player had to grab hold and cling to their subject for the duration of the chant ‘British bulldog! One, two, three!’

Thus, a game of British Bulldogs looked every inch like a men’s rugby training session. Bulldogs would fling themselves at the opposition, rugby tackling players to the ground and wrapping their arms around the knees of their intended target until they had finished their manic shout.

This was fine if the game was being played on grass, but all too often it involved pinning small kids against brick walls whilst shouting in their face, or doing a lunging takedown on concrete.

We all loved it, but eventually the teachers got sick fed up of cuts, bruises, broken bones and angry letters from parents, and put a stop to it. British Bulldogs was banned.

Eventually, a game that was identical in all but name, called Octopus, also got banned. As did Seaweed. And Shark. And British Sharks. And British Wall. And Bulldog Wall. And Bulldog Rush. And Bull. And any other variant under which we tried to disguise the opportunity to rugby tackle each other into walls.

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That's the thing though, I can't remember if it actually was or if I'm mixing up memories. All I know is I couldn't remember the name of Bullddogs Part 2 but had a feeling it was egg related, then I found out it was eggy. Makes me want to stick with my guns on Twiglets.

If you mean British Bulldogs then it was obviously Join the Crew.

The lassies used to play their version called Red Rover.

Girls playing? That's outrageous, they weren't allowed to play football never mind Bulldogs.

Red Ass however was an all inclusive game, despite it's violent nature.

British Bulldogs was 'banned' before we even got to school, so we all had no idea what it was. Every so often someone would try to get a game going and we'd all gather in the middle of the grass for a while before bitching it and going back to playing tig. :(

Battle Royale was some caper, though. Jumping around the logs of the amphitheater in the cold and rain trying our best to push everyone else onto the stones. :lol:

You what mate? All you needed to do was rename it and it was perfectly legal. That was the glory of playground law.

De-breeking however was illegal no matter what you called it.

Right, next one. Numerous teams of two playing into the same goal, what is it called? Crombies or GTFO.

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