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My book "KERBY", rated 5-stars


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Anyone else play Manhunt? Basically there were a couple of ‘hunters’ who had to wait in a designated ‘base’ area, whilst everyone ran away and hid. In our version the ‘hunters’ had to count to 100 before looking for folk. If you were caught, you joined the ‘hunters’. The aim was to make it back in to the ‘base’ without being caught.

Don't you just mean hide-and-seek? :lol:

Manhunt :lol:

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DA, most of the games you mentioned are covered in the book! There's a whole chapter on football.

5 a kicky – The same rules as headers and volleys, but every time someone had 5 scored in to the them, everyone got to kick them up the arse. This was done as hard as possible of course. I remember one time we gave a guy the chance of running away for 30 seconds. He bolted up a hill, so we stole his bike and threw it in a bush. That was in 5th year!

There's some brilliant stuff about this in The Tartan Special One :lol:

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AKA Light-a-shite!!

I was never party to that particular pastime but I am ashamed to admit I was present when one of my mates put a rocket through someones letterbox.

What a fucking arsehole, imagine sitting in your living room and a firework screams through your hall?

I'm hitting a riddy just thinking about it. :unsure2:

There was a small pier where eels used to sleep in the shade on a hot day, so naturally we slipped a wire noose hanging from a pole along one, snatched it up and into a shopping bag and posted it still very alive through a random letter box.

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Don't you just mean hide-and-seek? :lol:Manhunt :lol:

We played a game called Manhunt.

If there was ten of you, you'd split in to two groups of five. Each group would then come up with a five letter word and each group member would be assigned a letter of that word.

The mission then was to hunt down the opposition group and mercilessly beat them to within an inch of their life to get their letter out of them.

This would continue until one group worked out the word that the other group had used.

I remember one game where me and my (still) pal Paul were on opposite groups. We'd happened upon each other armed with tree branches and proceeded to hold each other like ice hockey players do whilst fighting and whipped the f**k out of each other's legs with our branches to the extent that both of us had difficulty walking afterwards.

Must have been hilarious for folk looking out at us, watching two dings that had nae doubt given them cheek at some stage roaring in pain after every swing of their branch.

Fantastic book btw, Deadasdillinger. Brought back loads of good and bad (see above) memories.

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What did you regionally call rubber glove fingers taped to juice bottle necks for firing dried peas? We called them "johnny poppers", I think because the cut off rubber glove fingers looked vaguely like condoms (at least to a bunch of half feral kids). They were deadly when you fired them, used to be able to dent a deodorant can with a pea using them.

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What did you regionally call rubber glove fingers taped to juice bottle necks for firing dried peas? We called them "johnny poppers", I think because the cut off rubber glove fingers looked vaguely like condoms (at least to a bunch of half feral kids). They were deadly when you fired them, used to be able to dent a deodorant can with a pea using them.

Never made one of them.

Our equivalent may have been peg guns.

Bit of wood with a clothes peg attached to one end as the trigger. Elastic band attached to the metal bit from another clothes peg as the bullet.

Sore as f**k if you were loading your 'gun' and the metal bit pinged out of the trigger.

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Never made one of them.

Our equivalent may have been peg guns.

Bit of wood with a clothes peg attached to one end as the trigger. Elastic band attached to the metal bit from another clothes peg as the bullet.

Sore as f**k if you were loading your 'gun' and the metal bit pinged out of the trigger.

Clothes peg crossbows were lethal. Take two pieces of wood and nail them in a crucifix shape, with two additional nails near the cross point of the two, string an elastic band, or several tied together, between these two nails and fire a wooden dolly peg from it. Saw a boy get hit on the knuckle with one once from about 20 feet away, a weird one in a million shot. He was screaming.

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The same people who allowed half volleys are those who claim the new "Rangers" as the same club as the old Rangers.

Complete fantasists who have such a lack of skills and self belief they will latch onto any old nonsense.

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The game Manhunt folk are talking about, I believe it's proper name was "Hunt The c**t". Can't mind exactly how it worked but it usually ended in the c**t getting the shit kicked out of them. I may have suffered some mild brain damage from being said "c**t" which is why i can't remember the full details.

^^^ this gentleman has provided the correct answer.

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Firstly, well done Graeme. However it came to be published, writing a book is a great achievement and I wish you nothing but the best o teckle. Look forward to reading it.

Secondly, for clarification:

The correct name for kerby is kribby

Chapping a door and running away is chickenelly

Running through people's back gardens is backie-trooping

Swapping all the welcome mats in a closie, ringing the bells and running away is Inspiral Carpets

Roundabouts are actually circles.

Thirdly, my book that the Ayrshire Pepys bigged up earlier in the thread is available on a 2-for-£10 deal with dundeebarry's at www.tecklebooks.co.uk. Sex-pest barmen, pseudo-intellectual bouncers and Jimmy Savile-apologists. If you are the type of sick b*****d that these things appeal to then wire in.

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Amazon-related question: I have two £1 vouchers that I earned for having "no rush delivery" through Amazon and I also have Amazon Prime, rather inexplicably since I've never paid for it and my free trial ran out over a year ago. Anyway, were I to read your book either through the lending library or buying it with the voucher codes, do you get anything for it?

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This was honestly me.

More importantly, you said you'd buy it when someone confirmed it was okay - various folk seemingly happy to do that, so get yersel in about the book - you'll hopefully enjoy it :)

Firstly, well done Graeme. However it came to be published, writing a book is a great achievement and I wish you nothing but the best o teckle. Look forward to reading it.

Cheers, mucker. Even if you are another fucking Dundonian weirdo with strange-ass names for our childhood games.

4 chapters in and enjoying it. Very well done, I'll make sure I recommend it to some folk

Thanks, that's really appreciated and would be a great help. Always glad to hear from folk that they're enjoying it, makes it all worthwhile.

Amazon-related question: I have two £1 vouchers that I earned for having "no rush delivery" through Amazon and I also have Amazon Prime, rather inexplicably since I've never paid for it and my free trial ran out over a year ago. Anyway, were I to read your book either through the lending library or buying it with the voucher codes, do you get anything for it?

That's very kind of you to check.

I don't actually know where vouchers are concerned. A wee Google-search doesn't turn up any sort of results for how royalties work where someone buys with a voucher/code.

There's a KDP Select fund each month and you get a % of it based on what % your book was of all the books loaned out, if that makes sense.

As I said, kind of you to check, but the honest truth is that I'm not in it to make money - I made peace with the fact that there's no money to be made at it unless you're one of the tiny, tiny minority of authors who go on to big success. So acquire it by whatever means is easiest for yourself, and just be sure to leave a review if you enjoy it :)

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