wintonfan Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I think I prevented a busload of folk from sleeping... let me explain, did the megabus gold back from london in the summer, now I had been camping while marshalling the formula E races and camping in central london does not guarantee a good sleep with traffic noise and helicopters etc. so gets on bus at victoria, falls asleep, woke briefly during the driver change at preston and then woke up as we were coming into glasgow. now I know I am comatose but I also snore and according to one of the fellow passengers in glasgow I was making more noise snoring than the bus' engine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 How the hell did you manage a free trip home off the rozzers? I find it physically impossible to fall asleep anywhere except in a bed. Except when I've had a bevvy. Then I'm in danger of becoming Mr Snoozy from Snoozington. Christmas Eve in Belfast. Last bus home (at something ridiculous like 6pm). Fell asleep as the bus left town, slept all the way round the route and then all the back to the bus depot at the Short Strand. Woke up somewhat disorientated and no idea how to get out of it. Luckily there was some old codger on security who took some convincing I wasn't going to murder him and his family. Cue a very expensive taxi home. A car was going back to Alloa from Stirling and I asked if there was any chance of a lift due to the time of the morning it was and they gave me a lift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenconner Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 There was a train years ago that left Glasgow Central at half six on a Saturday night going to London Kings Cross. Only thing was it took 13 hours to reach London via Kilmarnock, a tour of Lancashire and the Midlands. Must have been the only London train that stopped in places like Nitshill and Kirkconnel. Mate does the falling asleep thingy, he's getting off at Kilmarnock. Slight problem he's somewhere in the Midlands and it's 5am, he decides to jump off the train in the middle of nowhere. Seems it was 11 miles from Coventry. And the line had no Sunday service. From Central at 6pm on Saturday he got home to Kilmarnock on the Monday morning by bus via Birmingham and Manchester. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I got quite drunk before a fight home from Chicago and proceeded to fall asleep about 4 seconds after the wheels left the ground. I woke up about half an hour from Manchester with one of the absolute wid stewardesses looking at me with a mixture of pity and disgust. As I was now a bit hungover and confused it took me about 10 minutes to figure out that I must have been drooling for most of my power nap and now looked like I had poured a pint of water down the front of myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin_3110 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I fell asleep on the bus the other day, woke up to a blowjob. Should have kept my mouth closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 It's ok. No offence taken. Truth be told working in Asda was fucking excellent. Pissed about most of the time, turned up still drunk a lot of the time and didn't really give a shit nor care not a jot for what I was doing. Come to think of it, not much has changed. Good to know that you're current job carries little responsibility ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 It carries plenty responsibility but I manage to shirk most of it. You are my hero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Good to know that you're current job carries little responsibility !It's all about apportioning blame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 On Saturday afternoon, I told the missus I was getting off at Haymarket (fnar,fnar etc) and she was going to pick me up. One minute I was passing Murrayfield, preparing to get off the train, the next I was awoken by a beepy phone full of missed calls and texts wondering where I had got to. I'd nodded off and was at Waverley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Sugden Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I got the wrong bus once and when I realised where the hell I was got off at the next stop near Newtongrange. Decided to take a shortcut along a wee country lane through some woods when I realised I was on the path that Jodi Jones had been murdered 6 months previous. At 1am on a cold winters night it was very very spooky. I kept looking behind me all the way to the other end. I distinctly remember humming a wee tune to myself as if that was going to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Done the drunk sleep on the train, aye. Heading back to my flat in Glasgow, got on at Dumbarton East, fell asleep, woke up in Drumgelloch. Back on the train to Glasgow, fell asleep woke up in Balloch. Taxi to my parents house where I was lucky to be allowed a bed for the night. Another time I was heading back to Glasgow on a Sunday (this time not under the influence) I had fallen asleep but kept waking up at most stops. The train jerked to stop and I woke up to realise that I was at Queen Street. I stood up and went to run off the train only for me to collapse in a heap on the floor. I had been sitting with my right leg crossed over my left and it had gone completely dead. It was a fairly busy train, with people waiting to get on, but I just could not stand up (despite trying 3 separate times). I was lying on the floor, realising that my only way off the train would've been to lie on my belly and slide myself off like a fucking human seal, so I grabbed the closest seat and pulled myself up onto it like some sort of fatally wounded paraplegic, frantically trying to rub the feeling back into my right leg before the train reached High Street station. I just stared out the window of the train the whole time, trying not to make any eye contact with the members of the carriage who were no doubt trying with all their might to not pish themselves laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I got the wrong bus once and when I realised where the hell I was got off at the next stop near Newtongrange. Decided to take a shortcut along a wee country lane through some woods when I realised I was on the path that Jodi Jones had been murdered 6 months previous. At 1am on a cold winters night it was very very spooky. I kept looking behind me all the way to the other end. I distinctly remember humming a wee tune to myself as if that was going to help. I go down that path all the time with the dog. Always keep looking behind me to the other end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mancha Verde Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 In 2007 I flew to Salvador, Brazil from Frankfurt. It was my first long haul flight. 11.5 hours it was. I really hate flying and so did my usual of getting tanked up on red wine, pre and during flight. The flight over was awful. I was completely loaded but kept sobering up from time to time, and asking the stewardesses for more wine, which they eventually started to refuse me as I was so drunk (though I still had awareness of what was going on). The flight went on for an eternity and I really suffered, fluctuating from moments of drunken stupor, general panic, inertia, chills, sobriety, drooling, tortured nightmarish sleep, visits to the bathroom where I would sit and talk to myself to try and calm myself with my head in my hands in despair. Waterboarding would probably have been a more pleasant 11.5 hour experience. And these c***s think watching Mr Bean reruns is going to make this experience bearable............ Anyway, on the way back, I knew I was in for the same experience so I procured in Brazil some valium from a man, with the intention of sleeping the whole way back. I drank a few bottles of red wine pre boarding and swallowed 4 of the valium just before take off. SILENCE. The next thing I know is 3 female crew members and a big burly security guy standing over me, trying to wake me and get me to my feet. 'Sir, we have landed in Frankfurt'. 'Well this is great' I thought. 'I've totally wiped out the experience of flying for 11.5 hours, and I'm safely in Europe, wonderful'. Unfortunately I'd also wiped out the parts of my brain that tell my body and mind to do the things I wanted them to do. They had to carry me from the aircraft and put me in a wheelchair, then dump me in the terminal building where many strange things happened for a long time, like sliding along walls talking to myself, and trying to order strong coffee to sober up, until I finally, somehow, came to my senses and was able to get my connecting flight back to Edinburgh. It's all very blurry as you can imagine but the foggy elation I felt at 'missing' the 11.5 hell flight was wonderful. I haven't taken valium since that flight.......... Diazepam is easier to procure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Fell asleep on the train twice when heading home after having a few drinks. First time I had only missed one stop so wasn't too bad. Other time was going home after a work's 5 a side tournament, had had a few pints after it and I was already knackered. Woke up with the guy across from me stately very loudly to his woman companion that its a disgrace some people sleep on the train and take up room for others. I sat and growled at him the rest of the way home cause I'm a pissy wee bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Ended up in Largs far too many times to remember. Only when I get the bus. Usually train terminates at Gourock/Glasgow so never a problem. One of those people who falls asleep really easily on public transport though. (Drunk or sober) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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