Cerberus Posted June 15, 2018 Share Posted June 15, 2018 I had a job interview today and the interviewer asked me what I want to be doing in 2 years.I said I’ve no idea. I don’t have 2020 vision. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted June 20, 2018 Share Posted June 20, 2018 I had an interview today. Interviewer - What is one of your weaknesses? Me - Honesty. Interviewer - I don't think that is a weakness. Me - I don't give a f**k what you think. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted June 20, 2018 Share Posted June 20, 2018 What's got three i's and smells of piss? Kilwinning WTF did we ever do to you? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Had an interview for a train driver job today. I was over an hour late. I got the job. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Hear about the sleepwalking nun? She was a roaming Catholic... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 On 6/14/2018 at 12:19, IainMorton said: The worlds first ever gay rugby match has just taken place. The first scrum lasted 45 minutes. mods please - anyone who thinks that is acceptable in this day and age needs to take a good look at themselves - fucking rugby references indeed.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanMc99 Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 On 13/06/2018 at 10:00, ShaggysBeard said: bit too much PAL for my liking, pal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Who the f**k types pal on a text. Im beginning to think this a joke that was made up to look like a text conversation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShaggysBeard Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 A completely contrived conversation and it's too much pal that gets picked up on. To be fair, when I posted it I read it back and did cringe at the overuse of pal. Thought I'd got away with it too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 56 minutes ago, jagfox99 said: Hear about the sleepwalking nun? She was a roaming Catholic... I found this much funnier than I should have... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithie Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 What's Forrest Gump's password?.....1forrest1 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Just read this headline in the paper “local barber arrested for drug dealing”. I'm totally shocked. Been a customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sujan Azad Parikh Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 A man and his wife have to go to a doctor. The doctor asks, “Do you share the same blood group?” The husband replies, “We must by now. She’s been sucking my blood for years.” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Man and and his wife are lying in bed. Man farts and says “1-0” Wife farts “1-1” Man farts again “2-1” Wife farts again “2-2” Man goes to fart a third time but follows through and shits the bed. Wife “what was that?” Man “half time, switch sides” 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Any P&B'ers in this one? -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 2 minutes ago, LincolnHearts said: Any P&B'ers in this one? Ad Lib on the right at the back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 What gets longer when you pull it, fits nicely into a tight hole and can sit perfectly between a woman’s breasts? A seatbelt, you dirty minded f*cker. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 A woman weightlifter goes to the doctor. "I've been taking steroids Doc, and now I've grown a penis!" "Anabolic?" says the Doctor "No! Just a cock!" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 My wife has left me because I borrowed her wheelchair... Its okay, I'm sure she'll come crawling back! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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