Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Shandon Par]

1 minute ago, Zen Archer said:

When you said you were light on your feet I thought you meant boxing.

To paraphrase Danny Glover, I'm getting too old for that shit. Got a cricked neck and had to go to the dentist the other day after getting rattled by a 1-2 off my kid. 

[heedthebaa]

59 minutes ago, Deontay WildPar said:

You can never have too many pairs of shoes. I'm with team mrsheedthebaa here. 

 Thought you might 

50 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

My wife has been doing that for years (and I mean years) but we're still cluttered to our oxters. She just moves it around, tbh.

That’s why I built a big summerhouse, she can have all her shit in their 

[Jacksgranda]

6 minutes ago, heedthebaa said:

 Thought you might 

That’s why I built a big summerhouse, she can have all her shit in their 

She's already filled "my" shed, not to mention the two outside stores.

[heedthebaa]

15 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

She's already filled "my" shed, not to mention the two outside stores.

Then there’s no hope, put your boots on and give it a kick 

[banana]

Hides poly bags of sick around the house.

[SaintDougie]

4 hours ago, Widge said:

Girlfriend was in a mood with me the other night cause when she came in she dumped all her work stuff, coat, scarf, shoes, etc on the living room table. I don’t know why she does it, but she does having walked past the coat rack and bedroom to get there. Anyway, I went out to Football and asked her to put her stuff away whilst I was gone. Hour and a half later I come back, stuff still lying there and even more mess in the living room. I stand of taking 2 minutes to put it away, she’d gone for a bath, decided to rearrange all her makeup stuff and take over the living room. On the phone as I walk in, I have time to go for a shower, make food and sit down, as she’s on the phone. Having had enough I decide to get up, tidy her stuff away and let out a little sigh of despair. At which point she ends her phone call and goes in the huff, totally failing to realise that yet again I’ve cleared up all her mess. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that the floor is not meant for storage but it never goes in.

Came home to this last night after the game.

Got back to Edinburgh about 22:30, Dug greets me at the door, where's the Mrs? Lying in bed doing dome sort of craft needle and thread thingy, fair enough I thought. 

So I head through to the living room to find what had looked like a fucking bomb had gone off! Stuff strewn all over the floor, used coffee mugs knocked over, bits of wood scattered everywhere, her fucking bra draped over the couch and the fire guard standing in the middle of the room as if I had just caught the fucker trying to escape out the window! 

Then I see the kitchen, a fucking midden with her dirty dishes all around the sink that certainly weren't there when I had left for Perth. I couldn't hold my tongue much longer so I said 'the least you could of done was your own dishes' to which she replied 'the hot waters been on' Aye? well that's just barry isn't it, half the battle won there love, ffs!

Suffice to say I tided up her mess 

The dishes remain there as we speak!

[Cerberus]

2 minutes ago, SaintDougie said:

Came home to this last night after the game.

Got back to Edinburgh about 22:30, Dug greets me at the door, where's the Mrs? Lying in bed doing dome sort of craft needle and thread thingy, fair enough I thought. 

So I head through to the living room to find what had looked like a fucking bomb had gone off! Stuff strewn all over the floor, used coffee mugs knocked over, bits of wood scattered everywhere, her fucking bra draped over the couch and the fire guard standing in the middle of the room as if I had just caught the fucker trying to escape out the window! 

Then I see the kitchen, a fucking midden with her dirty dishes all around the sink that certainly weren't there when I had left for Perth. I couldn't hold my tongue much longer so I said 'the least you could of done was your own dishes' to which she replied 'the hot waters been on' Aye? well that's just barry isn't it, half the battle won there love, ffs!

Suffice to say I tided up her mess 

The dishes remain there as we speak!

Aye, craft and needle.

She had the local Edinburgh rugby team round to sling it up her all ways.

[ah-dee]

Aye, craft and needle.
She had the local Edinburgh rugby team round to sling it up her all ways.

i was just away to say the same. "coffee mugs" plural and bra about the place yet he thinks nothing of it.

[Gaz FFC]

Safe to assume that women are happy to live like fucking tramps 

ETA mine actually has a go at me to everyone because I keep tidying her stuff.

When we have company round and I put things away she will shout "see!!!! look at him putting all my stuff away"

Since when was tidying seen as the crime here?

Edited December 6, 2018 by Gaz FFC

[Melanius Mullarkey]

24 minutes ago, ah-dee said:

4 hours ago, Cerberus said:

Aye, craft and needle.
She had the local Edinburgh rugby team round to sling it up her all ways.

i was just away to say the same. "coffee mugs" plural and bra about the place yet he thinks nothing of it.

I would touch the coffee mugs. The rugby team have probably dipped their cocks in them tbf.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I would touch the coffee mugs. The rugby team have probably dipped their cocks in them tbf.

Deviant.

[ah-dee]

I would touch the coffee mugs. The rugby team have probably dipped their cocks in them tbf.

id be more concerned about them dipping their cocks in my missus but i get what you mean

[banana]

Dipped their cocks into the coffee mugs, then into his missus.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 minute ago, Zen Archer said:

Deviant.

I meant wouldn’t. 

Well, probably wouldn’t.

[Herman Hessian]

2 hours ago, banana said:

Dipped their cocks into the coffee mugs, then into his missus.

frothy or straight black ?

[Raidernation]

Ahh f**k, sometimes I miss all that and think how lucky you guys are...........

[coprolite]

I'm surprised at the number of anal retentive tidy freaks on here. In my house me and the kids make the mess and the wife goes on and on  about it, at excessive length.

I assumed everyone else's house wokld be the same. I read a couple of those posts and thought "calm the f**k down you nagging neurotic" much as i do when my wife starts with "do shoes stay there?"

anyway...

She does insist on using the smallest possible thing in the kitchen, "to save on washing up" . I have seen her use a 4" by 6" chopping board with an 8" knife to chop an aubergine that overlaps both ends of she board. She'll also pile oven chips 3 deep on the smallest tray and be amazed that some of them still aren't cooked after 30 mins. The smallest saucepan will get used for spaghetti, which will inevitably stick together. She does show admirable unwillingness to learn from experience.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

It’s more a case of not living like a minker, knee deep in shite.

[Jacksgranda]

2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

It’s more a case of not living like a minker, knee deep in shite.

I think most of us would draw the line at that...

[The Minertaur]

Add me to the list of PnB men who clean up after their other half.  What really irks me is when I have a day off is that I will tidy up a bit normally.  Nothing crazy but I'll put the dishwasher on, wash some clothes and generally put things away etc.

Wife has a day off and I'll come home from work to her dishes still in the living room and nothing else done.  Worse yet she'll have been baking for people at her work and I'll come back to the kitchen looking like it was in Chernobyl. It's not that hard to simply put a dish you're finished with in the dishwasher or the sink!